“In the 60’s they thought schizophrenia was caused by by parents, the mother, the family. Autism, too. If someone had an autistic kid if was because they were a lousy mother.”

The soldier laughed.

“Well they did think this. If was the brainy idea of the times and these poor parents.  The mothers, I mean.  They were told their kid was fine until they got hold of them.   If you’d have hugged your kid…  if you did not subconsciously hate your child, none of this would be happening.  The parents bought it for the most part for a myriad of reasons. This was accepted at the time, and there are people out there who still believe this. Yes. I know people who believe this right now, this year.  A person is schizophrenic because the family did it, they needed a scapegoat.”

Continue reading Autistic Child? Blame Mom! Schizophrenia? The Family Did It!

Dear Libra,

This sounds like a clear case of WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) to me. This man has a full life. His life is full of people, a job, an addiction and mental illness and it seems to me he is living it.

You on the other hand are trying to make decisions about your life based on this other person’s comings and goings and progress and/or lack of progress and it is not hard to see this is going to lead you to nothing and nowhere.

Rather than focusing on what he is doing, it would be far more productive to focus on what you are doing - which as a double Libra may be a challenge so I will try to help.

You are doing what comes natural to Libra: you are trying to partner, though you are going about it all wrong. You are trying to decide (Libra) if you might be able to take this other person and see if you can’t fashion them (read control them) into something that will be suitable as a partner, which is never going to work.

This is particularly true of a psychotic, depressed, ADHD, disappearing, alcoholic Scorpio who has a bunch of women hanging around so yeah. If you want a partner which I think you do, I would look elsewhere.

Good luck.

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Dear Elsa,

In a natal chart, are there any particular alignments that indicate a disposition toward mental illness? Or is t more of an energy thing - all depends in how it manifests in that individual? Or both?

Curious

My personal opinion, depends on how it manifests. Others might give you a list of aspects but you’d have no trouble finding examples contrary so…

Anyone else?.

Submit and open question

Dear Wife,

Bipolar is a serious mental illness and what and how your husband is doing on a day to day basis has very little to do with you at all. He has a brain chemistry thing that is going to eclipse anything you might do to try to have an impact.

My best advice is to get as educated as your can about his condition. The more you understand about what is going on with him, the easier it will be for you to detach your emotion and not be so negatively impacted by what he is doing. Because it is very likely he is suffering some kind of compulsion with the porn, rather than being motivated by dissatisfaction with you! This would be akin to feeling a hemophiliac is bleeding because you are a bad person! It’s just not correct.

So I say, get him to a doctor… or keep him under a doctor’s care if you’ve already got him there and then do everything you can to learn about bipolar. Read books, join a support group, read some of the blogs out there. Do what you can to understand this so you can begin to draw a line between you and his illness but essentially, this is a boundary problem.

You’re a Pisces you know, with Venus in Pisces, Chiron in Pisces so it’s going to be very hard for you to separate out from him. But I am sure you can do it and in fact transcend his illness but not without copious amounts of information and people to support and ground you. So get out there and look for them and I am sure the universe will oblige.

Much love and good luck.

~~
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Dear Husband,

I feel bad for you and can’t imagine a stickier problem. Because although I think your wife has utter rights to do (or not do) whatever she wants with her body, the consequences for you are so painful it made me wince to read this. And I sure don’t have a trick to make this go away, but perhaps I can offer some reinforcement and encouragement.

You have love and that’s the main thing. And all kinds of things can happen when the love is there, so this is the first thing I would say. Just keep loving her. It sounds like this is easy for you and outside of that, since you aren’t a woman and I am, let me tell you that eating disorders are about controlling the body.

And I know you know this but what you don’t know is how incredibly out of control your body is when it is pregnant. Point being, I think your wife’s fear is justified. If she gets pregnant, the odds she is going to wig are sky high. It will be dangerous for her, so I wouldn’t try it without proper support in place. Just as if she had any other issue… if she were diabetic or whatever, some women need extra monitoring when they have a baby and she would be one of them.

Now on the odds of her ever becoming agreeable to becoming pregnant, I don’t know. I appreciate the situation with the money, and also your willingness to look into this kind of workaround… but I think the universe has put this out of reach for a very good reason. Your wife is ill and this is how that is coming to the front. But obviously you can’t take her to the water and make her drink, so what to do?

Well, I don’t think you have a lot of choices here which is good. Because once you see there is only one path, you’ll just go down it. So let’s see…

You love your wife so dumping her and getting another woman is not an option. Adoption and surrogacy? Not an option.

It must mean you’re supposed to love her until she gets to the point where she wants to heal. And you can facilitate this by being an excellent, caring, sensitive lover and continuing to let her know how important this is to you. I mean don’t go on and on because that would drive anyone nuts. You just have to be as gentle as you can… make sure she knows you love her no matter what she looks like, and beyond that all you can do is let the love work, and hope with time it will. And for yourself?

I would suggest you let go the “before I’m 30″ thing. If this is the woman you love, you may be 35 before you have a baby. Does it really matter? You’re a Pisces. And somewhere inside, you know a baby is only going to come when it is supposed to come. And that goal of yours feels like pressure to her, you know.

Love, love, love and love. There is really nothing else you can do. I hope this works out and I feel that it will.

Good luck.

~~
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