Dear Elsa,

To get right to the point, I am completely consumed with worry.

This have been going on since I was a kid. And when I say that worry consumes me, I mean just that; it literally eats me alive. Monday, I’m convinced I am having a heart attack; Tuesday, I have AIDS; Wednesday, my husband is ten minutes late and MUST be dead in a ditch; Thursday, I am convinced my daughter’s twitches in her sleep are some kind of epileptic disorder; Friday, I am terrified I will get a call my mother has killed herself in an accident, Saturday, I’m sure my son is acquiring an anxiety problem of his own because he was nervous about something and it is my fault; Sunday, I am convinced my husband will leave me because I have gained so much weight, not to mention that I’m insane.

And in the hours in between the days, I worry about everything: from the detergent I use to the war in Iraq. I am just completely ridiculous with it. To the point where I experience panic attacks, which if you have ever had one, are terrifying experiences. (They feel like heart attacks.)

Sorry for the lengthy examples, I just wanted to clarify what this worry does—it kills me. It steals every happy moment away. It takes away my drive, my ambition, my sense of adventure, my ability to relax, my ability to have fun. I’m aware of it, and I cannot seem to stop it, nor control it.

I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety/Panic Disorder, but I do not have the money to see anyone professionally. I do not foresee any money coming into my future anytime soon; we have been having a rough go of it, as a young family.

All of this isn’t fair to my husband, who is supportive, loving, and strong. It isn’t fair to my bright and beautiful kids, in a myriad of ways. Is there any advice you can offer, as someone objective? Is there anything my chart signifies as a trigger? Anywhere I should start digging for my answers until I am able to get help? Any advice is GREATLY and sincerely appreciated.

Worried to Death

Dear Elsa,

I am a 26-year-old woman and still searching for that all-elusive passionate lover to ravish in my flames. I have always been very idealistic about love, romance and consider sex to be a sacred thing. Finding a man to connect with on various levels has not been easy.

A few months ago, I met a young Gemini man who is setting up a social enterprise community to serve charities with a pool of creative altruistic people. I joined his group and began to see him there every fortnight. We also went out to dinner several times, and shared some of the deepest, fabulous conversations I have ever had. I was impressed by this man’s fire and altruistic vision, and intrigued that he made no passes at me at the end of any date, walking me home to the door, then leaving with a small backward glance. In short: the perfect gentleman…

After a few months, at the end of one dinner, he told me he had feelings for me, and did I … Well, I kissed him then, and then we fell into one another’s arms with such a passion! A few weeks later, he invited me to his house for the first time. We ended up making love, the condom broke, and I handled it very badly, freaking out in the middle of the night etc..

The next morning he said he did not think a relationship would be possible in the light of my freak-out; that I was too volatile etc. But he said he would like to keep me as a friend, and we should keep it at that and see what developed. He also told me he had suffered manic depression in the past and having built himself up to a stronger position over several years, he did not want me to be in a position to hurt him again. He also said he had not been with a woman for several years.

Over the next fortnight, I bitterly regretted having freaked out and scared him away. I resolved to overcome this sinister tendency and did everything in my power to change my attitude to one of gentleness to make amends when we next met. But in truth, this man was so potent, he had really set me aflame inside my heart and body!

When next he agreed to see me a few weeks later, as friends, we had dinner as usual, and then it seemed he was happy for us to go our separate ways again. At which point I seduced him with my words, telling him that I had real feelings for him. We started to kiss again, and then he asked me to take him home. Which I did, and showed him all the tenderness I had in my heart with many kisses etc. There were no freak outs this time, and he ravished me to the stars and back. But in the morning, he repeated what he and said, that he did not think a relationship was possible, we were both too volatile.. His offer of friendship had been real, but we had not stuck to it. Confusion descended again, and off he went, wishing me ‘A Happy New Year’ if he did not see me before then…

I cannot get this man off my mind! He represents so many things I have searched for, and I would like to help contribute to his social enterprise project. But I feel as though he has set his mind against loving me. Is it hopeless to try and change it? I feel that maybe if I rejoin the social enterprise group and do good works therein, playing it cool, and forgetting the way we were both deeply stirred, then maybe he would open up again? What would you suggest?

Best Wishes,
Crushing

Dear Elsa

I’m in my last year of university, but I feel it’s hard to move forward to what is next in my life. Ever since I’ve been 15, my sex drive has been non-existent. I remember it was very strong for a bit, but I felt very guilty about it and the feelings I was experiencing. Some of them were unacceptable to me - so much so that it gave me tremendous grief.

One day I just stopped feeling the drives though, and since then I have been going through life without them. I have OCD symptoms, but I do have Scorpio and Pluto prominent in my chart which could just be me wrestling with my subconscious and with my ego. I want to move forward in life in regards to relationships, but doctors and counselors seem to have few ideas. I’m also tremendously sensitive and have a Piscean like compassion for others, even strangers, and I’m not vindictive or aggressive like a typical Scorpio. Could this be me being out of touch with my mars energy (sex drive)?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

Scorpio Rising