satori sent me this… it’s grand. Never mind the current lousy condition of Venus and Mars in the sky. The Moon in Taurus (love) is trine Jupiter in aspect sextile Uranus in Pisces so we may as well feeeeeeeeel good!

“That’s the hardest thing a man has ever got to do,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“Not beg a woman he loves. To be in love with a woman and she dumps you. You should never grovel. Grovel once and it’s over. You can tell her the truth… you can tell her that you love her but you must not grovel even the least little bit because if you do, you’re done. You may already be done. You may have lost her but if you grovel you will lose her for sure. If she dumps you, then you’ve just got to walk.”

I started singing the Temptations, “Ain’t To Proud… sweet darlin’”

“Yeah, they were full of sh_t. Beg a woman for anything even once and she’ll never love you or respect you again.”

Regarding those lovesick men, max quotes me:

“Are you aware of men loving women or does it seem otherwise to you?”

And writes:

Since I am a man and clearly not entitled to an opinion, I cannot say.

max
[’There’s all this stuff about commitment and my bank account.’]
Continue reading Venus And Mars: Lovesick Men Redux… And Lovesick Women Too

The soldier and I watched La Bamba this weekend, a movie I have never seen for some reason. It was striking because the guy who plays Ritchie Valens brother in the movie looks astonishingly similar to the soldier’s old friend, Speedy and acts like his to some extent as well. Then there is the love story of course.

The soldier wound up singing “Oh, Donna” to me all weekend, substituting my name for hers which was both embarrassing and amusing and we talked a lot about men in love… some of these conversations are coming up.

It’s very heartening to hear from a man’s man about men loving women. Turns out they really do love us a lot of time, too bad we don’t register this as well as we might. Because if I had any doubt about what he was saying when I went looking for the song on youtube, I found one man after another after another after another of all sizes, shapes and colors singing this torchy song so apparently they can relate.


Are you aware of men loving women or does it seem otherwise to you?

“I’m freezing. I am in the wrong state,” I told the soldier. “I thought I was going to be in Texas. Do these look like utility clothes?” I asked the soldier?

He laughed.

“You’re laughing at me again. I am just telling you to look at these shoes. So they look insulated?”

He snorted.

“No! These shoes were made to look good, same as these pants. They are to show off my ass, not keep me warm. I am telling you the air goes right through them because we are not in Texas where we are supposed to be.”

“I try to prepare for the worst,” he said.

We are currently getting tires on my car so I can even get home.  Left the car at the tire place, walking down the street in Oklahoma…

“Is that so? Well you are a SF soldier. I am a woman and I rely on a man.”

“You do, huh?”

“Yes! I had a client the other day, said she didn’t need a man. I said, yes you do. You may need him to lift something,” I said with a snort. I think she liked hearing that. I think she was happy. But anyway, yeah. I am freezing my ass. I am a desert rat, there is no getting around it.”

t-carat writes in regards to the soldier’s asserting that men act differently when women are around as opposed to when they are by themselves:

“They don’t want to get into a crummy fort, they want to get into where the decisions that affect the world are made and where the money is.

If a man can’t work and be himself where women are he’s been living in a cave for the last 2-3 decades…”

t-carat - in soldier’s case it’s been a lot longer that 3 decades he’s been living in a cave. Try many, many lifetimes, but here’s the thing:

I am not sure that relationship between men and women has actually evolved… or that it even can evolve. Women binding their feet years ago in China, did so to attract a man. These days they get breast implants and shoot their faces full of botox and I don’t see the difference. A woman gets money and power and her crotch still aches for a man.

Looking around in 2007, it may appear things have changed, but have they really? From the soldier’s (historical) perspective they have not changed at all. Estrogen is estrogen and testosterone, testosterone. We can dress it up in various ways but does that actually alter anything beneath the surface?

Do you think the interaction between men and women is primal / hard wired or do you think it’s on the move?