The soldier has been called to jury duty and hopes to be picked.

“Someone on my blog said they want sheep on juries, no wolves.”

“I’m a sheep! I’m a sheep, P!” the soldier said, shrilly. “Oh, why don’t they ever pick me? Whyyyy? I’ve been called up 10 times at least but I never get picked.”

Continue reading Voice Of Mars: Joinin’ The Posse With His Huntin’ Dog, Dora

“I do think I am more easily disturbed then others,” I told the soldier.

(swearing below the break)
Continue reading Voice Of Mars: Political Correctness, Walking On Eggshells, Mars in Pure Form

“Guilty!” the soldier shouted. “Guil-ty!” he said. “I’ll say it is soon as I see the guy come in. That guy is guilty!”

He was imagining his time on a jury and I laughed.

“No, I’ll do it right. I’ll do a good job. Why don’t they pick me? Why can’t I get picked to be on a jury? Some guy says, I can’t do it, I have a hemorrhoid on ass!”

(swearing below the break)

Continue reading Voice Of Mars: Dreaming Of Jury Duty

“P, if I was a young man today, I’d not be getting laid at all. I’d just not be able to.”

“Why? You were a dashing young man,” I said.

“That doesn’t mean anything! If a man wants to get laid today he’s got to cry, have woman’s needs and read Cosmo.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, you have eat yogurt, have a bunch of feelings and make comments on clothing if you want to get laid these days and I just can’t see myself able to do that so I guess I’d be a young man with no pussy, there wouldn’t be anything I could do about it.”

Is your friend or partner constantly criticizing or complaining about you? Chances are they don’t even like you…

Have you ever tried to have a relationship with someone who had contempt for you?

“He was good man, not a great man but a good man. We were going through his locker and found a book where he wrote some poems. He probably wrote some poems for some of you bimbos out there…”

The soldier attended a funeral of one of his peers and this is part of the eulogy his commander gave… really.

The soldier couldn’t believe it. The guy’s mother was in the audience.

“P, you’ve got a dumb man. The dumbest,” the soldier explained.

“Tell me what you did.”

“Well I was in a McDonalds getting myself something to eat and there were these two girls in front of me, they are Asian. Girls, ladies, whatever. There were these two ladies in front of me and they said they’d have their food to go.”

“Uh huh.”
(swearing below the break)
Continue reading Voice Of Mars: EAT IN TAX

The other day I told the soldier I felt lonely and asked if he felt the same. He said he didn’t and explained he would if he didn’t have anyone. “But I’ve got a girl and a dog…” He added that he thought feeling lonely (when you had someone) was sort of a “woman thing”.

(swearing below the break)

Continue reading Voice Of Mars: Loneliness And The Psychiatrist

With Mars in Gemini, it’s going to be a war of words. Mars in Gemini seduces with the mouth, the mind and the hands.

Mars in this sign gets what it wants by being clever. It is perfectly capable of tricking the pants right off you.

Tell us about Mars in Gemini, yours or others…

Mars is debilitated in Cancer but this does not stop Elsa P from being attracted. A crab moves sideways, retreats, then advances so at it’s worst, Mars in this sign is passive aggressive however this is not always the case.

Continue reading Mars ‘Round The Zodiac: Mars In Cancer - Read All About It!