“No, P. I would not pick this,” the soldier said.  “I don’t think I would. I mean if I were to see you out there somewhere I would be attracted but I’m not sure I’d do anything about it. We’re together because we knew each other as kids. I really would be attracted to you but damn. It’s just so hard to be with a woman, I’m just not sure.”

I stared.

“Yeah but none of that matters. It’s a mute point because as it is, I am in love with you. I am deeply in love with you and have been my whole life. It’s as if you’re in my DNA, that’s how deep it goes. We were just so young when we met and you really got inside me - Into my DNA, that’s what it feels like. I wasn’t even a full grown man when I met you,” he said. “You put a hex on me or something. You poisoned me. I got poisoned by you when we were kids.”

Continue reading Voice Of Mars: The Correlation Between Love And Crotch Rot Explained

The soldier pulled out some unmarked tape from a pile of them - his archives… 

“This is a war tape, I think. I wonder what’s on it.”

“I don’t want to see some girlfriend of yours,” I said even though I know (as unbelievable as it may seem) that he did not cheat on his wife.

“I never had a girlfriend, P,” he said. “There is no girlfriend.”
“Okay then, let’s look at it.”

Continue reading Voice Of Mars: “I Am A Soldier”

It’s amazing how history repeats. The soldier found a local fight club and has contacted them to join. This is from their website:

“Talk sh*t to us and you better be able to back it up, because you know we’ll fight you.”

and

“You better be able to fight or we’re going to beat your ass.”

Reading aloud, the soldier looked to be in a state of nirvana.
Continue reading Voice Of Mars: History Repeats -The Soldier Joins A Fight Club

To put things in perspective…

The soldier needs a barber of course so we used the usual method to find one, we drove to Ace Hardware to ask someone in there where a barber could be found. We got a good tip from a cop who was shopping there and headed over to find the shop closed on Monday. This morning we went back.

It was a glorious barber shop - it has all the trappings. A barber up front named, Enrique, some vintage posters of men’s hair cuts on the walls, a display or vintage blades and scissors and lots and lots of military and/or sports banner hanging down.

Continue reading Astrology, Cancer And The Mars-Ruled Barber Shop

We were headed the gym this morning, the soldier popped his new Patty Smyth cd into the jukebox after commenting on her little black dress.

“Too bad she married such a baby,” he said. “Why’d she do that, P? Why did she have to marry that big baby?”

“McEnroe?”

“Yeah, the big whiner. Every time the referees said anything he had throw a tantrum, throw his racket around like some kind of baby having a fit. Why would she marry a guy like that?”

“Don’t know. What you call baby some people might call passion.”

“Passion? What’s that the new PC word for a grown man-baby throwing a tantrum over a call some referee made?”

“Yeah, maybe,” I said.
We got out of the car and grabbed out gym bags. His said Spalding on it.

“This here is a tennis bag,” he said. “Someone says tennis? Is that your game? I’d say, hell no! Croquet. That’s my game.”

On that we went into the gym, The Rhino and P.

I posted the last blog and then walked into the living room where the soldier was lying on his back playing Neopets of all things. He likes all the G-rated stuff.

“I was thinking about how you said men had to scout a woman before they went after her?”

“Yeah when you find out what hard labor it is.”

Continue reading Voice Of Mars With Lyin’ Venus In Gemini

“I was talking to La La Lara last night about these men,” I told the soldier. They have no idea what to say to get the girl. I really don’t think these men are so lousy, I think a lot of them really would like to get a woman and keep her but they’ve just no idea how.”

“Yeah, they want a woman. Of course they want a woman.”

“Well women don’t seem to realize this. They think men are up to all kinds of things and I think a lot of men very much want a woman and have no idea how to do this but you do. You can get the girl. You know how you told me it was hard work to get a woman?”

Continue reading Voice Of Mars - Getting (And Keeping) The Girl

“I was taking a picture of your helmet… thought I might use it for the Gus blog,” I said. “There is an old Sesame Street band-aid in here. It’s old like it’s from another era. Did you put that in there for him when he was a kid?”

“No,” he said smartly. “One of my soldiers must have done that.”

“Yeah? You told me some soldiers keep their girlfriend or their wives panties in their helmets and I know you never did that so I thought you might have put that band-aid in there to think of your son.”

“No, it was one of my soldiers. See, I had those band-aids and whenever one of them would whine I would give them one of them.”

I snorted.

“Here. Have one of these band-aids. Put this on for your ills, ya baby! Ya big cry baby.”

I just laughed and laughed. His men loved him and still do. The calls are coming in now for his birthday week - It’s nice.

I also think it’s a great fortune to have someone in your life who will tell you to buck up now and then. Just consider what happens to those who don’t.

For all the Aries energy out there (and square Mars to boot) here come some MAN truck stories…

“Stopped at a rest area so I could work out and as always all the truckers got on the radio and started teasing me, talking about me.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

(swearing and other possibly offensive words people use when no one is looking below break)

Continue reading Voice Of Mars: Aries, Trucking And Raw Male Energy In Nature - It’s Out There And Ready To Rock

“That’s the hardest thing a man has ever got to do,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“Not beg a woman he loves. To be in love with a woman and she dumps you. You should never grovel. Grovel once and it’s over. You can tell her the truth… you can tell her that you love her but you must not grovel even the least little bit because if you do, you’re done. You may already be done. You may have lost her but if you grovel you will lose her for sure. If she dumps you, then you’ve just got to walk.”

I started singing the Temptations, “Ain’t To Proud… sweet darlin’”

“Yeah, they were full of sh_t. Beg a woman for anything even once and she’ll never love you or respect you again.”