Dear Elsa,

I’m a gay man who recently met a Libra man who is two years older than me (They are 55 and 57). We communicate well, joke around and have very similar dietary and exercise habits. He is much more calm than I am which balances things out. My question
is that he seems aloof at times and very into his job and caring for his dog and is a homebody.

Any advice on how a Scorpio should understand a Libra man besides just chilling and letting things take their course?? Thanks!!

Scorpio Man
United States

Dear Scorpio, letting things take there course is always the best plan. General tips for Libra - well they love to partner. Once partnered they can relax and it sounds like this is what this man is doing.

You also specifically state he is balancing things out which is the job of Libra. This means if you act one extreme they will typically act the other but if you do too much of this (Scorpio manipulating), you risk pissing off the Libra which is always disastrous. Because while Libra does try very hard to be pleasant, if you get one to blow, you can expect a bloodbath.

Good luck

Anyone else?

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A couple days ago my friend, satori who is a Pisces told me that she connected me to the mundane world. “I connect you to the mundane and everyone else who is mundane, I connect to the other,” she said, and I laughed. I think it’s pretty funny when you have to get a Pisces to ground you; however she is not the first.

My sister is the first Pisces who attempted to connect me with the mundane. I say attempted because I am pretty sure she would tell you she failed and I was thinking about this today. I recalled something I wrote awhile back and meant to pull it up and post it but this came out instead…

My sister loves high level shopping (think Posh Spice) but she is stuck with a sister who could care less. Back when, it was big talk in her circles. No one could believe she had a sister who oblivious to clothing and makeup.

At one point, when I was about 30 she grilled me wanting to know if I was a lesbian. Apparently this was a theory amongst her and her friends. It was the best explanation they could come up I guess. I am not a clotheshorse, therefore I am a lesbian!

Continue reading Are You A Lesbian? We Want To Know Because We’re Looking For One Around Here…

Dear Aquarian,

No, I don’t think there is any hope of changing the dynamic of this relationship and it suits you perfectly as is, whether you realize this or not.

As an Aquarian with Venus in Aquarius you want a lot of space and with this man, you get it. You also have your Moon and Mars in Aries so you like the challenge he provides. He must be perennially hunted, see? But most of all it’s the pining.

You have Venus square Neptune and there is a part of you that is addicted to pining for this un-gettable man but check this:

If you get him… if you actually get this guy and nail him down I guarantee you the situation will flip on you. Instead of where you are now, you will be pining for freedom and challenge. Pretty trippy, huh?

I admit that living in this hall of mirrors with various drives conflicting is a job.  However it is your job and at least you’re not bored or boring.

Good luck.

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Dear Girlfriend,

I really have no way of telling if your boyfriend is gay or not. I suspect he is not considering he has spent four years with you and seems comfortable enough interacting with another man. Point being: if he wants it, there it is. You are obviously open-minded so it’s not like the sky is going to fall if he come up with this so it makes me think while his friend may very well be gay (and in love with him) your boyfriend is merely being Aquarian.

To address all points, the fact that you suspect your mother makes me suspect your mother as well so I factor her out and it leaves me to wonder why you are feeling lonely and unattractive. Is it because he is neglecting you in favor of his friend? Or is it because he is boring you?

Because it sounds to me as if he could be being himself (a detached, non-judgmental, not that interested in sex, Aquarian) and you could be finding out you want something very different in a man and on this I have some personal experience.

I had an Aquarian beau once and I was just a million times more sexual and tactile than he was. I also had a very close friend (Ben - we’re still friends 20 years later), who is gay and I asked him… ‘Is this guy gay or what?”

He asked me how much time the man spent with me and I told him he called me 10 times a day and saw me 5 or 6 times a week. Verdict? Not gay.

“Gay men like men, Elsa. They really have very little interest in women but they love men and there is no way they are going to waste that much of their time in the company of a woman when there are men… everywhere.”

So apply that when debating your boyfriend’s sexual preference and beyond that, here is my advice:

I would definitely not confront him about his sexuality. Instead, focus on what you are getting from the relationship. Because it sounds to me as if you are not getting what you want and need, regardless if he is gay, straight or zebra.

Good luck.

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Dear Man,

This is a great question and while I can’t make a decision for you, I am happy to offer my opinion - and in my opinion you should definitely go back. Go back because you love him and he loves you and this is not all that easy to find.

As to whether you are asking for too much, well you are not. But you asking him to give you something that does not come easy for him and making yourself miserable in the process. In other words you are focusing on the lack, which while it may be real becomes insignificant if you opt to refocus.

The idea of refocusing on the positive goes without saying but you can go much further if you like. You can opt to raise the bar on yourself around what kind of lover you are - and rather than looking to how he can improve, make yourself better than ever.

Make yourself better than ever by being the kind of lover who does not ride their partner’s ass all the time and you will be in demand and loved like never before. And oddly enough, when your partner perceives your higher value, he is very like to start hitting up those birthdays which he knows damned well are important to you… before someone else decides to do it for him. So this is my advice:

Get off his ass, get on your own, watch the result and marvel. And the astrology?

You have hard aspects from Saturn which does give a tendency towards seeing the glass as half-empty. Thing is you can turn this around with work and I promise that if you do, you will see everything in your life improve.

Good luck.

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Dear Gemini,

Your gal pal told you she was bisexual and apparently she was not kidding. So yes of course she is trying to talk you into the type of relationship that will satisfy her needs, which is exactly the same thing that you are trying to do to her. Can you see this?

What you have here is a power struggle, or a struggle to control. You want her to cram her foot into your shoe and she wants you to cram your foot into hers. Is this ever going to work? Not comfortably.

As for her hot and cold business - Aries is notorious for loving the thrill of the chase but loathing the security and structure - which with Venus in Cancer and Mars in Capricorn is something you crave.

I think you’re getting the picture. Very hard to make this one work, I am thinking it’s not meant to but other may disagree and can let you know in the comments.

I am sorry and good luck.

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I wanted to come back on the Triple Pisces. I rejected that woman, hard and I wanted to explain what drove me mostly because although the story stands alone, things are far more interesting when you’ve privy to more of the root.

I try to expose the roots when time permits which is why I think I so many Scorpios read here. It makes a nice meal. It makes things more satisfying but anyway, I went to see Double Aquarius, Angela Davis speak.

You can read her rich history but I saw her about 15 years ago in the early 90’s which was post her history, history when hers was a household name circa, 1970-72. In whatever case someone invited me to hear her speak (about rape) and having nothing better to do that evening, I showed up and was completely taken with her. Continue reading Rape And The Triple Pisces - Standing On Principles, It’s All Due The Double Aquarius, Angela Davis

Dear Love,

It is not unreasonable or selfish to want your own space but it probably is completely unrealistic to think you are going be able to have this while living with a woman, three children and a dog unless you can afford a house with a separate wing… which it sounds like you cannot.

I think you will probably be miserable if you move in with your girlfriend and also that you will make others miserable… so the fact you are looking at this in a harsh light is good. Because she has a responsibility to her kids and if she is counting on your to pay half the rent and you are ready to balk… well I think you should tell her right away that you are having your doubts.

And don’t think I don’t see your side! I have Libra you know. And it sounds like when she promised her kids they would each have their own bedroom… knowing your conditions, well as far as I am concerned, she sold you out right there.

So no. I would not recommend you move. You are too independent and kids are fixtures, you can take my word on that. Your girlfriend is also telling you one thing (you will be accommodated) but taking opposite action, so you know. Looks like you’d be jumping into a fire to me.

Good luck.

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This is for Mercury in Scorpio and today’s Moon in Capricorn. Regarding the young man from the soldier’s church who committed suicide last week.

“I went in there and his mother is devastated. His girlfriend… they were going to get married and she is devastated. I mean, devastated. Why does someone do that, P? What is so bad you have to go and kill yourself?”

I didn’t answer. Continue reading Homosexuality and Suicide: A Cautionary Tale

Hi Elsa,

I wrote to you away back in February about a friend of mine with who I’d grown rather intimate. 20 Year Old Man Loses His Gay Lover of Five Years To A Woman Who Is Pregnant: Pluto Transit

I’m writing to say thank you Elsa for your help and advice, and the subsequent outcome. I took your advice, and took a step back. I see now all the mistakes I made, and I am at that point where I am sincerely sorry for everything that went on, let alone embarrassed at how I acted. It was so naive of me to think that when I ‘outed’ him, he’d come running back to me with open arms. But I’m past all that and realize now that we were friends and that’s all and although we let each other down, we’re far better out of each others lives.

Now, I know what I really have. I give my friends a hug just that bit tighter, and I’m a lot more ferociously loyal to my friends. I’ve accepted the moral of the story and learned my lesson.

I started college this year as well, and I’m doing really well at that, and really want to get into university next year. I’m not out on the hunt for Mr Right, but no doubt things will work out when they’re meant to. College and my prospective career, family and my mates, are going to come first.

Thank you so much for your advice Elsa, you were firm with me and it’s helped. So did the two comments left by two gentleman, and I’m very grateful for older, more experienced gay men to take time out of their lives and give advice to me.

I can’t help but wonder though how I’ll get on with college and whether or not I have the ability to progress to university. I also wonder if I’ve the aptitude to be a writer… a novelist.

Thank you Elsa once more, I am so glad I discovered your site.

Young Man In(Less) Turmoil
Scotland

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