Dear Faltering,

Moving closer to your son and getting out of a relationship you are unhappy in are two different issues, so I’ll take them one at a time.

First, I have very strong feelings about how people with adult children should conduct themselves so I just want to say upfront that I have a tremendous bias on this. Are you familiar with Capricorn, Kahlil Gibran?

In his poem, “On Children” he writes:

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you…”

I agree with him. I don’t think parents should make their children beholden to them in any way. And men and women in their twenties and early thirties, which is the age your son must be, rarely want much to do with their parents. They want to know you’re there, sure. But they’re very busy trying to establish themselves as adults in their own right and I think it’s very unfair when parents burden them with their needs at this juncture.

So based on this, I would not recommend you move closer to your son unless you can have some boundaries about you and understand he is probably not going to want to spend very much time with you. And this is not personal, it just is. It’s life and it works out. Because leaving him to live free allows you the same right. And it seems to me that to PROGRESS, you have to continue on your own path independently.

So this brings the focus to your personal life. And you did not elaborate as to why these first relationships have not been fulfilling, but you did say you were depressed… so I would recommend you address this first.

What do you mean, “depressed”? Are you clinically depressed as in you need medication? Or do you think your depression related to your situation… being in a relationship that does not satisfy? Either way, you are going to have to address it and this is what I think you should do. How?

Well, like me you’re a Capricorn rising, so it’s slowly, methodically and one step at a time. Solve the depression question and then take the next step as it presents itself, and it will. Beyond that, just know you can do it. It’s never too late to have a happy life and as a Capricorn, if you set this (a happy life) as your goal you are very likely to attain it.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Unclear,

Are you a lesbian? I think the jury is still out on that. You are clearly attracted to women but you are the only one who can deem yourself a lesbian and there is no reason to rush to do that.

Matter of fact, you don’t have ever have to label yourself in anyway, ever. Because you are a human being first, regardless of your sexuality. So the only reason for you to ever label yourself a “lesbian” or anything else is because it empowers you. So what’s that mean?

It means you can be you. If you want to go with a woman, go with a woman. If your want to go with a man, then go with a man. If you want to go with a woman, then a woman, then another woman and then a man, do that. And at no time do you have to proclaim yourself lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual or even state that you are confused! Because what you are doing is living. You’re just living.

If you want the astrology… you have a Venus Neptune conjunction, which would suggest you could love anyone. This is why the attraction to the unattractive men, for example. So this is my advice: love whoever you want, whenever you want, however you want. And don’t bother with the name tag until and unless it serves you.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Scorpio,

Great question. And if it were me in your situation, I would hang. The difference with the scenario you paint and the others I have addressed is this: your partner is still communicating with you. She is still being intimate with you even if she is not putting out! So although you are starving, you’re not really starving. She is still giving you something real and chances are if you can hang through this you will be closer than ever.

And hell yes, these things can be situational. And provoked by a transit although the transit is not to blame, obviously. Yes, a Saturn transit through the 8th house (sex) can thwart sex but it’s not the transit. It’s not the planets but the real life thing she is going through. Something ouchy, no doubt.

So no. I don’t think it’s this previously unbeknownst to me malady, “Lesbian Bed Death” you’re dealing with. ::smiles:: On the contrary, it sounds to me as if your relationship is deep and going deeper and I would advise you facilitate this. How?

Like a Scorpio, obviously. Probe. Not her body at the moment, but her psyche and her soul. Get in there and find out what’s blocking her and when you suss out the problem, heal it for her why don’t you? You can do this and if you do, it’s good all the way around. Good for you, good for her, good for the world.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Dear Starved.

It is always darkest before the dawn, this is a universal truth. I am sorry I have sat on your post for more than a week, but good God, girl. This is a lot to process. And I know your pain is real. It is reflected in your chart in ways that are unmistakable. You are you, and this is your experience on this plane. However I do detect a few things that may help you move through some of this.

Number one, though based on your chart, I would consider you a true anomaly, I do not believe that there are people out there with whom no one is compatible. And what you need is a partner. Someone to touch you, to hold you, to help you tame the beast. And there are scads of people out there who can do this. People who love to do this. They are looking for someone just like you. Someone intense. Someone “meaty” if you will. So why aren’t you hooking up?

Well you tipped your hand when you mentioned the taboo and the fact you are trying to partner with people who cannot accept their own sexuality. Lesbians, I presume. So what the fuck? Isn’t this a choice? Aren’t you choosing these women, over the women out there who are comfortable with their sex? Aren’t you choosing this pain?

Fact is, you have access to unlimited energy for good or ill. How about using your energy in your own best interest? For starters, swear off women who don’t know what they want. PERIOD. Been there, done that for godsakes!

Instead, focus instead on finding someone who can not only deal with your ilk, but craves your depth. Because she is out there. You just have flip some switches here. You have decide you’ve been hungry long enough, you know? It’s your survival now, right?

So start cutting through the chaff, why don’t you? Because if you’re honest, you will admit and own the fact you can tell chaff from wheat, a mile away.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!