Hannah S-Q askes regarding the last Kathy blog:

“So I’m curious, is it fairly universal that Sag is “worldly” and this applies to cuisine?”

Hannah, yes. One way or the other, Sagittarius is “international” and having four planets and her north node in the sigh, Kathy is a super specimen. She is also offline with a broken computer so how about we talk about her?

Kathy’s Sadge is in the 3rd house (languages) so this is where her linguistic abilities come in. Because besides the Asian restaurants, I have heard her speak Greek to the Greeks and Spanish to Mexicans…you get the picture. This girl can communicate.

Further, she’s a Virgo rising, so Mercury (communication) rules the chart and her Mercury is in Sagittarius in the 3rd, so you can see how it would be virtually impossible for Kathy to be bumbling on this front. The woman knows a lot, about a lot and that is all there is to it.

Now what kills me is wherever we go and what ever we eat, Kathy invariably claims it’s her “home food”. “This is my home food,” she says about Thai. “This is my home food,” she says about Greek. “This is home food,” she says about soup. Even my beloved carnitas are “home food” to Kathy, even though she is least familiar with Mexican food. And she said this so much I started to tease her.

“This is your home food, that is your home food! Everything we ever eat is your home food! Let’s face it, Kathy. The whole world is your home…”

I dialed her this morning..

Briiiiinnnnnnng! Briiiinnng!

“Kathy, it’s me. Where are we going?”

She’s in her car on her cell phone…where else would she be with a chart like that? “I wanted to try this east African place…”

“Okay, then. Where is it?”

So here’s the thing: Pretty soon, Jupiter will leave Scorpio for Sagittarius and I will be watching Kathy intently. I want to see the expanded, expand, you know? And you guys can track her too, because you know I’m going to be writing…

So what about you? Got any sadge friends? Tell us about them!

Talkin’ to Kathy, we’re on the phone:

“Okay then, Sunday,” I said. “We’ll meet. You figure it out. Get your boy part fired up and figure out where we’re going.”

“I will! I’m proud of my boy side,” she said.

“Well, yeah.”

“I’m very proud of my boy side,” she said emphatically.

“Well I guess you should be. Just think about it, Kathy. Just think of those women who have no contact with their boy side. Can you imagine the horrible life?”

“Nooooo. No I can’t.”

“I can’t either. Better to have some boy in you, like us!”

“Yeah!”

“Okay, so I’ll see ya.”

“Yep. See ya.”

*click

~~

And on the Mars Mercury conjunction front - we both have this in our chart, we were eating Vietnamese and the place was packed. Kathy said she was taking me on a tour of Southeast Asia and it kills me because she’s got a million planets in Sadge in the 3rd house (communication) and everywhere we go, she can speak the language. Me? Well I just smile prettily and ask for a fork!

But anyway, this place was packed. Pho 79! And I don’t remember what I said, but it must have been filthy because her eyes opened wide.

“Could you say that any louder?” she asked, leaning towards me over the table. Before I could compute what she said, she added, “You could! You could say that louder. Don’t! Don’t,” she implored.

Realizing she was trying to get my attention, I put my fork down. “What?” I asked all baffled.

She just looked at me. A couple seconds later the whole thing registered. “Oh, I was loud. Was I loud?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Sorry.”

“No problem.”

“No problem? Okay, good,” I said, having a quick look around to see the people who might have heard whatever it was I said. “So what were we saying again?” I asked.

On that we both cracked up, and then she went back to her tripe and me to my…big ol bowl of…of….stuff! Pho or 79, I have no idea what they you call it. Kathy and the waiter ordered it for me, you know. I’m from the desert.

Kathy and I both have Mars conjunct Mercury. Abrasive, aggressive, sexual (Mars) communication (Mercury).

And she’s got all that Sagittarius, hence the “church”. We’re making dinner plans on the phone:

“Have you ever heard of the stone church? The old stone church or something?” she asked.

“Um…I think so. Is that a restaurant or something?”

“Yeah. It’s a church that’s been converted into a restaurant.”

“That sounds familiar. But no. I’ve never been there. You want to try that?”

“Yeah, some day. But it’s a little fancy for us tonight.”

“Eating in a church? Yeah. We need to be able to be loud…to laugh out loud,” I said. “We need somewhere we can…talk filthy.”

“That’s right, Elsie! We need to be able to say dick, don’t we?” She roared laughing and I joined in. “Dick!” she said brightly, for emphasis. “Dick!” she said it again, laughing loudly.

“Yeah, dick. Dick is good!” I said. “There’s nothing better than having dick for dinner, Kathy!” I roared.

We stopped to snort and chortle and snort and laugh ourselves stupid, before continuing to explore our dining options…

So last night, we met for dinner. Thai food, which is “home” for Kathy.

“Well, you definitely act just like a man,” I said. “It amazes me. Going out with you is just like going out with a man. A good man, though.”

“How’s that, Elsie?” she said with her Kathy-grin.

I clenched my fists in a body builder pose and mimicked her voice. “You’re comin’ with me, Elsie! I’m takin’ you out!” I barked. “We’re goin’ somewhere!”

She roared.

“And you called me today,” I said. “Like setting up a date. Are we still going out, you asked. Well yeah, I said. And you said, Okay! I’ll call you back and tell you where we going.”

We both laughed.

“But it’s not like you’re a lousy man. You’re a good one. Thoughtful. Unless you think of somewhere you want to go, you said. See? I can have a vote. If there is somewhere I want to go, that’s fine, but otherwise you’re going to take care of this. And I am going to let you! Because from my perspective, why bother? You’ve got this hard-on so I may as well relax and let you do your thing.”

She roars. “I have a hard-on?” she asked.

“Well, yeah. And we get in here (the restaurant) and what do you do? “Let me help you order, Elsie. Let me do this for you. And I’m sitting over here, thinking what the fuck? So you order. And I let you. Go ahead, Kathy. Figure it out. Fix me up. And I just sit here…”

She laughs her ass off.

“And believe me, if I were sitting here with anyone but you, I would order my own food, you know. I know how to order food, Kathy…”

She banged the table with her hand and laid her head down, choking on her laughter, so I moved in for the kill.

“And what about outside? We meet in the parking lot and what did you say?”

“What?” she asked, poised to laugh at herself.

I raised my voice to a Kathy-squeal. “Oh, Elsie!” I said screechingly. “Look at your toes! You painted your toes red,” I said.

She snorted.

“Just like a man! Don’t you know that’s what men do? It is! When they’re on a date, they always find something about you. The ones that get laid do, anyway. They find something to like about your appearance and they say something. Oh honey! Your hair looks so good. Is that a new broach?”

At this point, she’s got her head laying on the table, heaving with laughter. Her whole body is convulsing. Mine too.

“They try to notice something about your appearance. They act just like you. So anyway, Kathy, yes. As far as I am concerned, you’re a man…”

After dinner, she orders dessert and proceeds to wolf it down.

Being girlish, I defer as if thinking, “Dessert? Who me? No, thanks. Everyone knows it goes straight to your hips…”

The End

I went out with Kathy the boy-girl last night and she is starting to see that she really is like a man. From my perspective this is! And with her third house (Gemini) packed with Sagittarius, what could possibly be more “interesting” than a different perspective?

So anyway, all that Sadge is yang, as is the 3rd house. But she also has a Leo Moon (yang) in the 11th house (yang). So you can see she is over the top on this front and in contrast to me - A super yin type, save my Mars Mercury conjunction which will definitely cuss you out and perhaps beat up your car with a bat, if sufficiently provoked.

Now I don’t think either of us would act so near our respective poles with other people. For example, if Kathy was with someone with more of a yang nature, you would probably see more of her yin side and vice versa with me. But as it is, when you put us together…well it’s just extreme. And she doesn’t see it, though she’s beginning to. Mostly because she constantly shocks me with her raging hard-on behavior and I simply have to comment. The first time I mentioned this was a couple weeks ago. We were on the phone.

“You’re such a man, Kathy. Jesus.”

She roared. “Oh Elsie, what do you mean? I’m not a man,” she said.

Being yin, I let it drop. But three minutes later, we were discussing the message board where I posted, which led her to my blog, which led her to contact me for a consultation. And it turns out she was in contact with another woman from that board…

“Yeah!” she said. “She’s jealous!”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah! Because we’re friends,” she said boastfully. “Because I live here and she doesn’t! I’m hanging out with you. We’re hanging out!”

I didn’t answer. I was just amazed.

“And I told her, that’s right! She’s mine!” she said all aggressively. She was shouting. “Elsie’s mine! I got her! I got her and you didn’t! So there!”

I snorted. Got me? What am I? Kathy’s conquest? Here I am, a notch on Kathy’s belt and who knew?

I laughed but I didn’t say why. Figured I’d clue her in later.

To be continued…

And what about you? Yin or Yang or both?

~ skip to part two

It doesn’t work out. She can’t get the address of the SML because there is no SML.

“Well, how do you like that?” she said. “Now what?”

“Kathy, I don’t think it matters what. We can get coffee anywhere. Just drive.”

“Okay, Elsie. I’ll drive,” she said, grinning. “Where do you want to go? We can go…should we go to Broadway?”

“Sure!”

“What’s there?” she asked.

“Freakish people,” I said. “People who wear weird shit because they like to be seen. Er… people your age go there and…”

“Piercings?” she asked.

“Yeah. Whatever they can think of,” I said. “To make people see them. Let’s go. That’ll be fine with me…”

She waves her hand, no. “Or we could go downtown,” she said. “Want to go downtown?”

“Sure,” I said. “Ok, downtown.”

“How about I turn here?” she asked, indicating a side street nowhere. “Want to go down this street?”

“No. Nothing there. Turn if you want, but no coffee…”

“Okay, Elsie.”

We wind up going backwards down 6th. Or whatever it was. She was talking the whole time of course. As we zoom by place after place after place. I keep my mouth shut and next thing you know, we’re back on Speer.

“Boy Elsie,” I don’t know. I really wanted to go the SML…”

On that I lost it. “Of for godsakes, Kathy, what is it with you? Fuck the SML! Listen. If you keep driving this fucking car…if you don’t pull over sometime soon, I am not going to want coffee! What I’m going to want is a drink! Two of them!” I said.

She roared.

“I mean it! What are you? Some sort of Asian over-achiever?”

She roared.

“You are, aren’t you? You’re an Asian over-achiever and you meant to find the coffee shop and damnit, you are not going to fail!”

She roared. “I am!” she said. “I am an Asian over-achiever,” she said, grinning.

“Well, great! Some of us just pull over and eat any burrito we see! Doesn’t have to be the SML burrito for chrissakes! Just a burrito! And I can see this is going to be the end of burrito eating for me, if I’m going to hang with you!”

She laughed. I noticed the sexual innuendo but kept it to myself.

“And you aren’t going to let this go, are you? I bet you go home and look that fucker up on the internet. I bet you research. You’ll make calls.”

“I will do that,” she said.

“I know!” I bellowed.

“I’ll get on the internet,” she said. “I’ll try to find…”

“I know,” I bellowed again. “And you’ll find that fucker and call me up! Okay Elsie! Heeeeey Elsie! Remember that place we were going to try? Well, I found out where it is. So we can go now…”

She roared. “I probably will do that,” she conceded.

“Well, that’s fine. But right now let’s go somewhere else, do you mind?”

“We’ll go downtown.” She announced.

We’d decided to go Maggiano’s because I had some cash left on a gift card.

“I got pissed off at a car dealership,” I said (Mars/pissed, Car/Mercury.) “I called them a bunch of fucking fuckers and they gave me this card.” I explained. “To shut me up,” I added. “So we won’t have to pay! They can pay,” I said.

“Sounds good, Elsie!” she said, beaming. “Great!”

Five minutes later we were stuffing coins in the parking meter, and then we headed towards the pedestrian mall.

“Which way?” she asked, stopped at the curb of the 16th street mall.

“I have no idea. I don’t get out. Let’s try this way,” I said. “If we don’t see it, we’ll turn back.”

We walk three blocks. No Maggiano’s. ‘Think it’s further up?” she asked.

“Probably,” I said.

“I’m going to call,’ she said, pulling out her cell phone.

I just shook my head. Like I said, I’m from another generation.

“That’s it. Get your device out, Kathy…” She smiled and I thought it was more sexual innuendo on my part. I amuse myself like this all the time. Meanwhile, the gal on the phone could not tell her how to get to the restaurant, even though we were a block away.

“Shit!” she said.

“Just get the number,” I said, “Or ask them is it East or West from Welton,” I said, glancing up to check the street sign.

But no. The girl could come up with the info. She gave a cross street though, so I walked over, grabbed a map so we could figure it out the low tech way.

“Er…this way,” we said in unison.

Next thing you know, we’re seated on the patio at Maggiano’s as hoped for.

‘We’re here, Elsie! She said brightly. “It sure is a nice day! Not too hot…not too cold…

I reached for my margarita and sucked half of it down. Damned chick. “I’m going to have the waiter take our picture, okay? “Even though it’s embarrassing since you’re Asian.”

We both snort. A few minutes later, the waiter snaps our pic and there we are. The moment frozen in time.

So Kathy (the Sadge I’ve been running with) has a pile of Sagittarius in the 3rd house (Gemini / Mercury). So she is very mental…and gadget-y. She also likes to drive around obviously, talk on the phone, and other than that, she’s Asian and a generation younger than me. So she calls me up…

Briiiiiinnng! Briiiiinnnnnng!

“Hello?”

“Elsie! It’s Kathy! It’s meeeeee,” she squeals. “So do you want to do something today? Do you? Do you want to get out? We could go somewhere…”

“Well yeah, Kathy. I always want to go..”

She interrupts, “Well there’s this coffee place I heard of. We can go… sit outside, drink our drinks…you can get some sun.”

“Sounds good.”

“Okay, Elsie! It’s called SML Coffee House, I think. Anyway, I know where it is. It’s somewhere on Speer. Um… Washington. Yeah! Washington! It’s on Speer and Washington…”

“Where ever.”

An hour later, we’re speeding down Speer, looking for Washington. Or she is. Because she’s driving. And in fact I think she’s super man-ish. And I told her this. How I always run with these women with emphasis on the masculine signs.

“For balance, Elsie!” she said when I explained.

Because I showed up to go for coffee in some man’s woman sundress and she was in her jeans. The gap between us was wide, and I think we both like it this way. In whatever case, I feel a little as if I’m on a date. And it’s always this way for me women friends. Running buddies this is. Phone friends are something else. They are always as Femme as me, and we go on and on about men.

But women I go out with are always like Kathy, or they are lesbians and in some cases they are lesbians who don’t realize they are lesbians because they have 12th house Suns. But anyway I just want you to get the feel of us in the car. She’s super yang. I’m very, very yin. Outside my mouth that is. Outside my Mars Mercury conjunction. Outside my swearing and my writing and my sex drive, I am total girl.

So anyway, we’re driving.

“There it is,” she says. ‘Washington!”

I glanced over. No coffee shop. “There’s nothing there,” I said.

“We must have missed it,” she said.

“No. Nothing there. It’s further up. Just keep going.”

“I don’t know, Elsie. Do you mind if I turn around and check?”

“Well, no,” I said, glancing over at her. “You seem like you want to know this,” I said.

“I do!” She makes a right…another right, another right and pulls back up to Speer on Washington. “That must be it,” she said, pointing at an art gallery.

“Nope. That’s not coffee. That’s a gallery,” I said. “It’s full of pots in there. But no coffee.”

“Oh,” she said, looking past me to confirm. “I thought it was here.”

“Well it’s not. Drive on. Coffee is not hard to find.”

“But I sure thought it was there,” she said.

“I know, I know. Don’t worry, Kathy. It’ll be okay. We’ll find you some coffee,” I said reassuringly.

We both cracked up. She kept driving…and obsessing. “I wonder where that place is? I really thought it would be there.”

“Kathy, it’s not there. I think it’s a little further up.” I looked at all her nervous energy and thought she was cute as hell. She thinks she’s cute as hell too, so we agree.

“Where should we go, then?”

“Where ever. Where ever we see, we’ll just stop. Do we care? Why do we care?” I asked.

“We don’t, Elsie! You’re right. But I just want to know where that place is!”

I shook my head, as she reached for her cell phone. “I’m gonna call,” she said.

I just stared in disbelief.

“Yes!,” she said smartly into the phone. “Denver! SML Coffee House! S, M, L. Sam, Mary, Larry!” she said, and I roared laughing.

She had her back all straight, see. She was going to find the fucking coffee house, come hell or high water…

to be continued…