On being game-y, my friend said she got a lot of power from doing this. She had control. Judging by the comments it seems we may not all be talking about the same thing so let me clarify.

My friend would engage a man. She would be very attentive to him, leading him to believe she was really interested in knowing him and as soon as she had him hooked she would detach.

Continue reading Astrology and Manipulation in Relationships Redux - Gaslighting: Who Is Most Susceptible?

I thought of a new angle on the current Saturn Pluto square, I am calling it, defend (Saturn) your psyche (Pluto). While I didn’t mention it specifically, this came up in 2 of 3 charts in the astrology class I am working on and I caught on.

Continue reading Saturn Square Pluto: Defend Your Psyche

From 2007 - Paul Simon says there are 50 ways to leave your lover, so pick one.

What’s The Deal With Scorpio Freezing You Out, Or Amputating?

Why Why Is Scorpio Vilified For Doing The Same Thing The Rest Of The Zodiac Does?

The Moon is in Leo alongside Venus so big drama, baby!  Big and about to get bigger as the Moon moves into orb opposing Jupiter and friends in Aquarius.

Shadow side of love is still a big theme, some are currently paranoid and men in general are unpredictable.

Come to think of it this Venus action along with the rest of the sky sets a terrific stage for gaslighting types and it’s very hard to fight with Mars debilitated in Cancer.

Don’t forget the new Moon on the 18th. Be ready to set your intention, this is a big one.

See what is coming up - Transit Watch

This is from Gaslighting, the Double Whammy, Interrogation and Other Methods of Covert Control in Psychotherapy and Analysis by Theo. L. Dorpat

“Gaslighting in a type of projective identification in which the individual (or group of individuals) attempt to influence the mental functioning of a second individual by causing the latter to doubt the validity of his or her judgments, perceptions, and/or reality testing in order that the victim will more readily submit his will and person to the victimizer.
Continue reading Gaslighting As Defined By Theo L. Dorpat, M.D.

I almost never come across a book this good. Though it is rated 5 stars in 4 reviews on Amazon, I think it’s pretty scarce. They did not have a copy in the Denver Public Library system but I was able to borrow if from Denver University Library and I was surprised when I got the copy because it was written in 1996 and appears to have never been read.

Just the title should have sold this thing, you’d think. Gaslighting, the Double Whammy, Interrogation and Other Methods of Covert Control in Psychotherapy and Analysis by Theo. L. Dorpat so I will leave others to explain that and just tell you this is an extraordinary book.
Continue reading Gaslighting, Analyzing The Analysts and “On Normopaths and Functioning as a Mirror for Others”

(From Sept, 2008) “Make me think I’m crazy when I know I’m not…”
(ask the collective question below)

gaslighting - wikipedia
Other elsa blogs on gaslighting / manipulation in relationship
Also on the topic of venus neptune / pisces types in relationships
UPDATE - follow up to this video is here: Why Do People Undermine Someone’s Happy Relationship?
Are you susceptible to gaslighting techniques? Can you see the tendency (or lack of) in your chart?

Lisa Martin Molinari commented on the Gaslighting video (on youtube) regarding people who come on my blog to criticize my (happy) relationship:

“Why do people do this? Is it an insecurity? I would think if they are criticizing your relationship when you are obviously happy, then they must be jealous. I have just gotten rid of several people in my life who are toxic like this. And, I do not miss their friendship…”

Lisa, what a great question. I talk to my friends about this a lot because it happens to me so frequently. Jealousy is one explanation but we have come up with some others. First, I don’t necessarily think the attacks are conscious. It’s very hard to tell. A person pointing out a flaw may actually think they are doing a service and not perceive their comments as an attack. It may be a pure lack of boundaries. On the other hand it could be completely malicious but designed to look otherwise.
Continue reading Open Question: Gaslighting Redux - Why Do People Attack Or Undermine Someone’s Happy Love Relationship

Psychological Games and Manipulation In Relationship

Manipulation in Relationships Redux - Gaslighting

Pisces Man Loves His Girlfriend But May Fancy Men

I was talking to the soldier last night:

“People suspect your motives,” I said. “They think you are up to something… up to no good. It’s the same thing that happened when we were kids. (The Professor Of Art History in The Soldier and P) Happened in 2003 too, remember.”

“In 2003?”

“Yeah, that guy told me you were oppressing me to liberate yourself,” I said. (This is the ultimate insult to a Special Forces soldier who is sworn to liberate the oppressed).

“Oh yeah,” he said. I could feel him flare. “Why do people do this, P? Did they do this to the AMF?”

“Never. Not one person ever said anything negative about him. He enjoyed full support.”

“So what is it they say?”

“Oh, it’s all undermining stuff. They insinuate things, like I don’t think he’s telling you the whole story,” I said. “You’re being lied to sort of thing. You’re being taken down a garden path you little fruit. You na¯ve little fool. Unbeknownst to you, blah, blah, blah.”

“Oh for Godsakes. Do they not know how well we know each other? Do they not know I talk to you 7 or 8 times a day? 10 times a day?”

“No, I guess they don’t know that. I don’t know what they know. We trigger people is all. They look as us and see… who the hell knows what they see. Some people see us clearly though. They really do. And we’ve not had that before, it’s nice.”

Have you ever launched or experienced this kind of attack?