Nina wrote on the He’s Wonderful, She’s Not Interested blog:

The recent post on settling w/ Saturn moving into Virgo (Lower Your Expectations - Is This A New Trend?) reminded me of this post… so I went looking for it. Did you advise your friend one way or the other on this?

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I think I misunderstood when I used the phrase “lower your standards” and Saturn in Virgo wishes to clarify. I was not thinking about “settling”. I was thinking about the idea most relationships fail because people expect too much of them. And this doesn’t have anything to do with ‘settling”.

It has to do with expecting another person to make your life okay. Or expecting them to solve all the problems, both yours and their own. Expecting them to make up for the times others have let you down and just in general, expecting them to be super-humans.

Because fact is we are all besieged more often than not. So if you have the expectation this other person should do, x,y,z, so that things will be better for you… well are you considering they have their own life to manage? Would your relationship fare better if you took care of x and y yourself and just asked for z? I think so.

I think not only would your relationships fare better; you would fare better as well because you would gain confidence. This is like building your own stock. And I hope this is clearer now. Because I think people trash perfectly good relationships by having unrealistic expectations of what another can do to fulfill your life. Because in reality there is very little another person can do.

Where is your Venus?

Do you ever think about lowering your expectations? This is another concept I think may come into vogue as a way to solve problems as Saturn leaves Leo for earthy Virgo and Jupiter and Pluto land in Capricorn post their transit of high flying, inflated Sagittarius.

For example what if someone told you most relationships fail because people expect too much of them? Would it move you to lower your expectations so that you might have something real as opposed to ideal?

This is not new. Ben quotes Katherine Hepburn who said, “You can’t have everything,” and she was surely not the first to think such a thing but what if this became the prevailing attitude? Because I think with the shift to the Earth signs this may be exactly what we get.