This grand cross is something else.  I had a busy morning and I’ve not walked or done any exercise for a week. I am the kind of person who simply has to have some kind of outlet or I start to feel bad so I decided to go walking this afternoon even though I strongly prefer the mornings. I figured it was the quickest way to end my losing streak so I threw on some workout shorts and a tank top and when I glanced in the mirror, I thought I looked ridiculous.

Continue reading Strangeness Abounds!

Speaking of Saturn in Virgo, I went to a physical therapist this week to “grow up” my workout. Fact is, I have some torn discs in my back and these things don’t go away. Relatively pain free for several years, I had gotten cocky with my exercise and after this last fiasco I was pretty sure I’ve been damaging my back. I decided I better stop that and I better learn how so I went to this guy to ask him just exactly what I could and could not do.

Meeting with him, I explained that I liked to exercise and did a lot of hijinks. “Matter of fact, my hijinks are extreme,” I said.

And he asked me such an interesting question. ‘Why?” he said. “Why do you do that?”

I had a dozen answers in my head, but I stopped for a few seconds to savor the moment. Because right then I knew this guy and I were exactly opposite. He’s Mr. Safety, don’t hurt you’re body and I just want to jump off a cliff right there that very second, and spin around on the way down for no reason in particular. No good reason that is.

“Well, I guess I like the challenge,” I said. “It makes me happy. It makes me feel better. I like resistance, I like to balance. I like to feel my prowess and I suppose… err, I guess I do it because I’m a freak?”

But I could have just said, “I am Henry’s granddaughter.” And I could have just said, it runs in the family, because that’s my son, there. I have no explanation for why I am allowing him to stand unsupported on the balls of my feet while I snap his picture. No idea at all.

But here’s my question for you: What do you do? And…

Why? Why do you do that?

Dear Pluto Square,

Your chart is enormously challenging. Let’s just acknowledge that. And apparently you study astrology, so as you know your chart is a map of your life. So the first thing to do is accept a few things. Like the fact that, you’re no twinkie. You’re not a light-fare wisp. You’re not a walk in the park.

Well guess what? Neither am I! And things have gone a lot better for me once I decided to wear the coat I was born with, in the most overt way possible. I realize you are a long way from this but it’s where you need to head. I’m going to tell you a story which I hope lights the way.

Now I’m like you, I’m an intense piece of work. And I don’t know from your post if you are a man or a woman, but I know women are not supposed to be too, too sexy, less they’ll intimidate men. Maybe this is you. Or maybe you are a gay man… and same thing. You are forced to repress your sexuality to keep other people comfortable.

Well the first thing is, aware of it or not, people like you exude. The sex comes off you in a wave. And this is why the men and women are attracted, isn’t it? It’s because you are powerful, whether you like it or otherwise. But I promised a story, and here it is:

Four years ago I walked into a gym after a five year hiatus. I was in horrible shape to say the least. I looked like hell. I got on a treadmill, and was repulsed by my reflection in the mirror. But I stayed on the thing anyway. For twenty minutes! And when I got off it, with my head spinning so badly, I nearly vomited. I had been in shape for years, so you can imagine my disgust at how far I’d let myself go.

Six months later, I was on a crosstrainer when I saw “the guy”. Man, he was something. He was what can only be called “a sexy motherfucker”. He was mixed race, almost definitely gay, and obviously a professional dancer and God knows what else.

The guy could move, see. I watched him on the treadmill walking with STYLE and doing his various acrobatic moves. I have no idea what his moves were because they were his moves. Can you picture this? Someone so organically in tune with their body, well it’s very hard not to stare and be mesmerized

Was he showing off? No. I didn’t think so. Vanity is bullshit and this was something else. It was prowess. It was a guy who liked being in his body and I wondered, “What must it be like to be that guy? To have that kind of command and freedom to express?” Because he was just being himself. The sex that came off him in a wave was a byproduct and not a concern of his. It would be my problem if his strong sexuality bothered me.

So anyway, years passed. I’d see that guy now and then. Not that often. I assumed he was a performer and traveling. But he was always the same. Astonishing. And one day I saw him standing off any type of equipment, so I decided to tell him.

“Do you know you are the most interesting person I have ever seen in this city,” I said.

He smiled. I looked at him in a way to let him know I was not hitting on him. I mean, not only did I think he was gay but he was also out of my league! ::laughs:: I was paying homage!

Two more years passed. A few weeks ago, I collided with this guy again. I was in the corner of the gym doing my mat work. I’ve become pretty accomplished, you know. By God, I have. And you know what?

This time, that guy was staring at ME! Yes. He was watching me move. And I didn’t talk to him that day, but I will. I’m going to let him know that he liberated me by being liberated himself. And I am trying to do the same for you, now. And it won’t be fast, but it will happen. Because you can’t stop a chart like yours, okay? You are unstoppable. And if this guy can have his powerful sexual presence, and I can have mine… well then, you give me one good reason why you can’t have yours.

Good luck

~~
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pictured - The Rape of Proserpina (detail) 1621-22, Gian Lorenzo Bernini, Marble, Galleria Borghese, Rome