The soldier’s mother has been part of my Pluto Moon transit, big time. She surfaced with the pictures she had kept of me in that box of “things that made her son a man” when Pluto was station on my Moon the first time.  The release of those pictures after 28 years triggered all kinds of events that has led up here.

So yesterday, it occurred to me I ought to replace Dora’s dog tag and boy you wouldn’t believe my shock when I squatted down to read a current address on the tag. Uh huh.

The soldier’s mother has had Dora for the last several months and took the care and time and trouble to get her a new tag before putting her on a plane. I don’t know about you but I think this is extraordinary and thought I ought to say so. I mean, who does this kind of thing? No one I know.

I emailed her to say thanks and I thanked her for her her oldest son while I was at it. He is such a good man and it felt good to be in this position, that is to feel gratitude and have her there to let her know.

The poor soldier doesn’t know what to do with a crying, P but whatever.

The soldier just found out he will be passing through the desert city where we met. In a year of driving everywhere, this has never happened.

“You’re going to flip out while you’re there,” I said. “Oh man.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it will be emotional,’ he said.

“Yep.”

“What would life be like if I were not emotional over you, I wonder?”

“What would it be like?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t had to live it like that yet.”

Do you ever imagine what your life would be like without one of it’s major emotional components?

“What he likes is to see my emotion,” I told the soldier, regarding my 8 year old son. He likes it when I cry at movies, or if something scares me. But he especially likes it when I cry and he comes over and looks at me very closely. He wants to see my tears, verify them and make sure they are there.”

He laughed.

“Yeah, he actually inspects them. He looks at my crying face them up close and he likes it along with you and most everyone else I have ever known. You do this same thing! Oh, there goes Elsa, crying at Lady And The Tramp when we were kids. Whoops, there she goes crying at the Green Beret movie. I think my blog likes it too by the way. They want me to emote on those videos. It’s like they want to witness my emotion. Here I am with all kinds of it and they want to see it,” I said.

“I bet they do.”

“But why? Am I a freak on display? I feel that way to an extent. Why is the expression of my pain so interesting? My own son gets a kick out of this; he just can’t hide his pleasure.”

“I understand.”

“He can’t hide his pleasure, I can’t stop emoting and so it’s just this routine spectacle where my emotion seems to make others feel good. Because it’s not like he cries with me. It’s more that he’s pleased and satisfied with the meal. The meal that is made up of my expressed feelings that is, and I can’t say that I really understand this.”

Outside of this being another expression of Neptune in Scorpio (emotion) on the midheaven (public), can anyone tell me what is gained when tapping another’s emotion?

“Look. I don’t think I am mixed up about this,” I said. “People have read the book and do you know what people say when I ask them about this? I have asked everyone, what do you think is going to happen and do you know what they say?”

“What?”

“Nothing. They say absolutely not a thing. They just look at me. They just stare at me blankly so how about that?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. No one’s coming anywhere near it.”

~~

He calls back, “P, I don’t want you worried about me reading this book. You sound worried.”

“Well I’m not. Look. You’re going to be impacted there is no way otherwise about it. But so what? You chase after these extreme emotional experiences your whole life and now you’re supposed to be done with all that? You pretend you could be done but it’s a fake. You try to settle and get away from stuff that is disturbing but what happens? The universe kicks you back out. Go run with Elsa so you can feel yourself.”

“Okay. That’s true.”

“Yes. And you specifically asked me to do this so you must have known on some level I could deliver. I want the full impact,” you said. “It’s pretty hard to be mixed up what that might mean. So I’m not worried, I’m delivering. I’m going to mess you up but good. Mess you up something fierce beyond your imagination. But do I think this is an accident or some kind of tragedy? How could that be? This is set up by the universe and why we are attracted.”

“Okay, P. Now you’ve got me curious. I’m going to read this thing and I’m going to read it now. Love ya.” *click

Most (all) my friends are “foreign” to me. I have a 7th house (partner) Uranus (different) and Jupiter (expansive) ruling the 11th (friends) so I am just not attracted to people who are similar to me.

The theme is repeated with Jupiter rising and Mercury and Mars in the 9th house, Jupiter’s house. Yesterday I was talking to pal:

“Can you imagine feeling you should apologize for displaying emotion?” I asked. Because someone had apologized to me for exactly this.

“No,” she said. “But I’ve done it.”

“You’ve what? You have apologized for having feelings about something… for expressing them?”

“Yes I have.”

“Well you know what? That is just unfathomable to me. I absolutely cannot understand why anyone would think they need to apologize for expressing emotion. As a matter of fact, I think you ought to apologize for not having emotion… and for not showing it I mean. I just don’t get this…”

Of course I do get it. It’s a culture clash.

Does your culture support and encourage the expression of emotion or no? Which culture…?

pictured: The little one is my daughter from some years ago. She has Jupiter in Sagittarius trine a 9th house Moon. Diversity, bay-bee. For us, it’s only way to live.

This afternoon, we’re on the phone. The soldier is a Pisces Rising, with Moon Neptune in Scorpio in the 8th House :

“You know how I remember things with music?” he said.

“Yeah.”

“Yep. That’s how I make sue I never forget the things I want to remember and I had to go to the store today and get some more songs. You have some new songs, Miss P. To go with your old songs. Songs and more songs. So I got my songs. You know I have to have these songs and I was leaving the store with my cd’s and I realized one of them was the wrong thing. It someone else singing song of the artist I wanted. You know. Muzak. Well, hell. That’s not right. So that one’ll be a Frisbee and I had to go back in the store.” Continue reading The Soldier and P- Part 15: Astrology, Music, Movies, Emotion and Girl Scout Cookies

Regarding the Moon Neptune in Scorpio blog, Eme remarked:

“That’s awful. What would be an example of the good side of Moon/Neptune in Scorpio?”

Eme - There is no end to the upside of Moon in conjunction with Neptune in Scorpio. First, when that happened Neptune was in Aquarius, transiting square his conjunction in Scorpio. An also his Sun in Taurus! So you see, a wipe-out on all levels was virtually inevitable. He did not just lose his home, right? He lost his possessions as well (Taurus). But generally speaking, I would say his conjunction has served him well.

This is my ex, the man who survived nearly two decades as a Special Forces soldier. How often do you think that happens? And I would have to chock this up in large part to that conjunction. There is extreme emotional sensitivity. He can suss out just about anything and while I’m at it, one of my best friends, Stevie also has this conjunction and same thing with her.

These people are fairies. There is nowhere to hide. They have access to knowledge they don’t even know is extraordinary. Well they know, but only when the tide is in! Neptune. Other times they are supremely confused, only to have the tide come back in the nick of time.

And another thing I’ve noticed…well you’ve got Scorpio intensity of course, but there is tremendous empathy. There is no end to their ability to feel compassion and other people’s pain and if you are attuned to this kind of thing, you can feel it radiate from them.

And both of them are enormously giving emotionally. They will feel your pain for you (whether they want to or not). So there you go? Is this good? I think it’s good.

Scott’s sister was another friend of mine with Moon conjunct Neptune in Scorpio. She’s dead now, maybe you know. But she was also a supreme fairy. So incredibly powerful and so incredibly kind. She introduced Scott and I.

And then there’s Leon. He’s another life long friend of mine, with Moon Neptune in Scorpio. He helped me clean out Henry’s house when he died. And he kept showing up…he kept coming to my house, inviting me places and so forth in the months following Henry’s death, even though I could not stop crying to save my life.

His ex-wife from 20 years ago contacted him recently. Her current husband has died and she was in a crisis. He immediately offered his energy. He has supported her (emotionally) for a year now, expecting (and receiving) nothing in return. He does the same with his second ex-wife.

“She only calls me when she wants something,” he said. “And I just give it to her. I’d rather have her as a friend than an enemy,” he explained.

I nodded.

“I just can’t see…holding on to that bad stuff,” he said. “I just can’t do that…”

I didn’t say anything, but you know what I was thinking? I was thinking what a privilege it was to have such a compassionate loving man for a friend for so many years.

So there you go, Eme. I hope this serves.