“You’ll probably be just like my grandmother,” the soldier said. “My grandfather was in the hospital, he’s all old, he’s dying and my grandmother would not let the nurses give him a sponge bath. She made them let her do it.”

“Yeah, well that’s exactly what I’d do, you know that. I’d get in bed with you too.”

“I figured.”

Continue reading The Packed 8th House Communes With Scorpio Moon On A Few Favorite Subjects Like Death, Jealousy, Manipulation and Destiny

I got a mail from someone this morning who thought my daughter had died. My daughter is not dead. My daughter is very ill and I am no longer able to care for her at home.

We cleaned out her room because she has been gone nearly six months and it is time to face the reality that the odds of her ever being able to live at home again… well it would take a bona fide miracle and no one sees one of those coming.

It is like a death, I will tell you that. She is 12, almost 13 and her room was full of things I bought for her to have a life she is not going to have. It’s just gone through my fingers and there is not a damned thing can be done.

This kind of stuff has got to happen to someone and the someone it happened to is me.

shell writes on Will It Take 10 Years To Assimilate:

“Is that kind of like when something happens in your life that is painful, and you think you’ve learned a lesson and will be better equipped to handle it the next time around; yet when it happens again, it still hurts like hell and you have a brain fart as to how to handle it productively? And the second time around, you have baggage from the first time which only adds to the backache? Yeah, I could see how maturity would be the only thing to help. But that only goes so far, huh?”
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: My 8th House Puts A Fine Point On Trauma - Specialists, Audiophiles, Bliss, And A Perspective On Death And Multiple Lives

It all started with that movie,Big Fish. There is a storyteller in that movie and all his stories are good. They just don’t have bad endings… period. And I realized I feel same. As Jupiter-ruled Pisces satori told me once, “If it hasn’t ended well, then I guess it hasn’t ended.” Beliefs (faith) like this can enhance your life beyond measure.

Continue reading Jupiter In Astrology: How Little Things Make A Big Difference

A regular reader emailed in concern after I made a comment… this is what I said in part:

“… I am losing like a mf, I am taking losses I can and will never recover from but they are simply not on this front.”

I was cautioned to not make statements as you risk writing your own ticket and I while I agree in principal, in this case I chose my words quickly and believe I was misunderstood. I decided to put this up to clarify in case anyone else read that comment and had similar concern.

I explained to the person who wrote me that if I were to lose my daughter I would go on. I would continue to do the very best I could as I have done since I was 5 years old but I would never recover the loss. I would and could accept it but to actually ‘get over” the loss of a child I am pretty sure you would have to have a screw loose.

pictured : Rinaldo Abandons Armida, Giovanni Battista Tiepolo, 18th century, oil on canvas, detail of grieving woman

I was talking to a pal last night…

“Here’s what I like to know. What happens to these Peter Pan Syndrome types when they get their cancer diagnosis. You know. Play your whole life and then they tell you that you’ve got cancer. How to they cope then? What do they do? I would like to know this. I would like to find some psychologically sophisticated nurses and ask them exactly this. What do these men do? The women too for that matter. The female version, whatever she is called because they exist as well because I really wonder this. You’ve run through 800 people who might have loved you and now you’re going to die. How do they cope do you think?”

“I don’t know but it would be a good question for your blog…”

I don’t know if any nurses read here but if you know someone who could answer this - get them over here, would ya? Thanks.

Submit your own open question…

marie writes on the Pluto Transit To The Moon: Mine - Losing a Child blog:

“Can a transit portend the loss of a child, Elsa? I try not to obsess about this. When you lose a child or have a child who is gravely ill, you seek a reason for the curse because the pain is so unbearable. During a 5 month period, my sister’s only child drowned in a freak accident and my 6 year old son (also an only child) was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It was discovered by accident - he had presented no symptoms whatsoever.