Good news to report on the bully problem. Have not talked to the dean yet but Vidroid is happy with the resolution. The bully apologized, took responsibility etc.  He did not blame Vid, promised not to do it again and Vid said it made him cry.

“From relief?” I asked.

“No. It was nice, Mom, don’t you get it?”

Apparently the kid’s apology was so eloquent, he moved Vid to tears at how things can be worked out.  The kid’s Sun, Moon and rising are all in the Venus signs you know and it struck me…

Violence or no violence, I think Vid is the wrong kid to mess with. What happened was that kid was HUMBLED.

I decided to confront the bully (and his mother) at Vidroid’s bus stop this morning after learning the bullying has been going on for some weeks and now escalated to the point where my son is being choked up against a wall. It turned into an ambush, something Vid and I have done before. We pulled up at the bus stop and waiting patiently. As soon as Vid said, “That’s them,” we were out of our car making a beeline.

I guess I am not someone you want to see headed towards you at 7 in the morning, with my black gym clothes and wild hair because I could see the fear in the kid’s eyes when he saw us coming and knew the game had changed. The mother glanced at him but had no time to react.

Continue reading Bully Update - Mom Goes In With Her Mars

2008 is not 2007 or 2006 or 2005 or… the evolution of Elsa P and her blog.

Dear Elsa

I’ve had some issues with bullies since as far back as grade school and after running into the same kinds of situations over and over again I am trying to figure out how to best deal with them.

Until a few years ago I dealt with bullies almost in every case by avoiding them and ignoring them, which isn’t always easy. More recently however I have been forced to stand up for myself. For example about a year or so ago I had to stand up to a boss who threatened to fire me if I didn’t agree to do illegal things. Standing up for myself sometimes seems to work out but often is very stressful and sometimes makes things worse.

Most recently for instance I had a run in on a forum that I have frequented for over a year with a moderator who antagonized me publicly. I didn’t break any rules or do anything rude, she just likes to pick fights with people and this time I stood my ground. It ended up upsetting me so much that I’m not going back even though I once found a lot of enjoyment there.

I’ve come to understand that the bullies I’ve been encountering are not just picking on me alone, they are targeting lots of people over and over. I think that some people just love drama and some people love power.

I’m trying to learn from this and grow so that I don’t have to keep dealing with the same things again and again. I’m all about changing how I react to solve problems. Can you advise me?

Pisces
United States

Anyone?

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Last year my daughter (she’s 12) was bullied non-stop. She held up extremely well considering. School started this week and the first day they were on her again… that night we hatched a plan which so far has not had to be implemented.

“How’s the picking on you girls doing?’ I asked.

“Not so bad today,” she said. “They aren’t saying much since that last time and the one who called me a dork? I happened to glance at her right when she was being a dork,” she said with a big grin.

“Yeah? Like what?’

“She had her eyes rolled back and she was doing this,” she said, making a woo-woo sound and patting her mouth with her hand like a kid playing “Indian”.

I snorted. “Did she see you see her?”

“Yeah,” she smiled.

“What’d she do?”

“She put her hands down real quick like this,” she said, crossing her arms. And she looked like this,” she said with a caught acting stupid look on her face. My daughter in contrast looked ultra keen.

“I don’t think those girls are going to messing with you for long this year,” I said. ‘They’ll find a much easier target and when they do help her out, would you?”

She nodded. Later we were talking about the soldier.

“Oh he’s a little pissed right now or disappointed I guess you’d say. He thought he was coming here tomorrow… it was very close but now he’s not.” I explained the circumstance.

“Yeah, fate. Sometimes it tricks you,” she said. ‘God, or fate or the universe or whatever plays tricks like that. Messes you up.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like when I looked over and saw that girl acting stupid.”

My daughter is Gemini with a keen mind. She is Scorpio rising with Pluto conjunct and can see right through you. With Jupiter in Sadge and loves to expound her philosophy…

Ever caught your enemy pants down like that?

I talked to my daughter about the bullying yesterday. She has the family Mars Mercury signature in her chart.

“They haven’t done much this week,” she said. “They call me weird but I don’t care about that.”

“You don’t?” This always surprises me.

“No. They think weird is bad but I think weird is good so who cares? They think it’s an insult but I don’t.”

I laughed. ‘Go, baby. But if someone has actually taken snot from their nose and put it on your shirt, you can probably put a stop to that pretty easily.” Continue reading School Bully Redux: Mess With My Daughter At Your Own Risk

I mentioned my current interest in people who fixate on me in a negative way. This is such a constant theme in my life, it finally occurred to me I ought to study it and now that I’ve broken through I can see that what I have learned has positive implications and applications I did not anticipate.

For my example, my daughter gets bullied at school at times. She is targeted and as a parent, it’s horrific. It is terrible to send your kid to school to be persecuted however it has to be done.

I am fortunate in that the negative attention does not bother my daughter all that much. On a scale of 1-10 it bothers her at about a 2 or 3 where it bothers me at a 9! It would bother me at a 10 if it bothered her more than it does but as it is, I get off a easy courtesy her nature. So here’s the thing:

When your kid is being bullied there is little you can do. You wind up saying all these classic things that parents and counselors say that may be well-intended but really don’t help all that much. But after exploring this in my own life I have something new to tell my daughter which I imagine once applied will bring my pain to a 6 and hers to near nothing. Not bad.

For the record, I think people who attract negative projections are by and large Scorpio / 8th house / Plutonians, sort of like the witches who were burned at the stake. And in fact my daughter is a Scorpio rising with Pluto conjunct so she is going to exude power anyway you turn it. And I guess I see it this way these days:

If it is going to rain on you constantly, you may as well plant some crops. Scorpio (in whatever form) has got to learn to say, “Bring it on,” and that is all there is to it.

Can you relate?