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Leo Woman In Long Term Relationship Wants Children - Gemini Boyfriend Does Not: Saturn Return and Baby Clock Ticking
Dear Elsa,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a total of 7 years now. We broke up once before (after 9 months of dating in 2000), remained “friends” for a few years (basically a couple without a formal title) and officially rekindled the relationship again in 2002.
Him being a Gemini causes him to be very wishy washy sometimes. One topic in particular has been children. One month he wants them, another month he doesn’t. I become very annoyed by his indecisiveness and asked that he make a decision on whether he really wants children or not. He came to me about a month later after me asking him and said NO he doesn’t want children. Of course I was devastated because I didn’t believe he would say NO.
This topic has caused much tension in our relationship. It feels as if we’re on the verge of a break up. He believes we can work it out but I do not see how. What could possibly be the middle ground? I love him tremendously! He is a wonderful guy and an excellent boyfriend but I would eventually like to have children in the distant future. Therefore, I am wondering is his decision is based on his tendency to be indecisive, which is a Gemini trait.
Is there hope or should we just end the relationship now and move on?
Baby Clock Ticking
United States
Dear Clock,
I am sorry but it does not sound as if your boyfriend is ambivalent when it comes to having children. I am sure he knows how important this is to you, in spite of your supposed willingness to delay and accommodate him. And he has still given you a firm NO. And I agree with you. There is no middle ground on this issue.
Having children is by far the most demanding and long-lasting commitment you can make in this life, and it’s not something that should be undertaken with half a heart. You seem to understand this completely so the bottom line question is this:
Will he transform into a person with priorities more in line with yours? He may but I doubt it. He says he does not want children and I think you should take him at his word, even though this puts you in a heart-wrenching and untenable situation. But fact is you are almost 27 and heading into your Saturn Return, and I can virtually guarantee that your baby clock is going to continue to tick-tock until it becomes deafening. And if you override it, then what?
If you override it and stay with this man who will not give you a baby, then he is what you’re going to have as far as a baby goes - and it is going to be damned hard not to resent that.
Good luck.
~~
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