Dear Aquarian,

No, I don’t think there is any hope of changing the dynamic of this relationship and it suits you perfectly as is, whether you realize this or not.

As an Aquarian with Venus in Aquarius you want a lot of space and with this man, you get it. You also have your Moon and Mars in Aries so you like the challenge he provides. He must be perennially hunted, see? But most of all it’s the pining.

You have Venus square Neptune and there is a part of you that is addicted to pining for this un-gettable man but check this:

If you get him… if you actually get this guy and nail him down I guarantee you the situation will flip on you. Instead of where you are now, you will be pining for freedom and challenge. Pretty trippy, huh?

I admit that living in this hall of mirrors with various drives conflicting is a job.  However it is your job and at least you’re not bored or boring.

Good luck.

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Dear Divorcing,

It sounds as if you have moved fast but I can’t see the value in judging it or worrying about it seeing as you are already in up to your neck. And with Venus in Aquarius, your chart does indicate love and attraction comes fast and unexpectedly so what the hell. It is what it is. You are here now so I wouldn’t waste time looking over my shoulder, I would however look forward.

You say she is everything you want and vice versa. I believe you, so I would advise you to continue to work on yourself and the things that dog you. Whatever personality traits that have got you in trouble in the past, get on them and stay on them and one more thing.

You are going to have to talk to your friends or they are going to do this poor gal in. In trying to protect us, our friends can be very foolish at times and it sounds as if they have copped an attitude towards the new woman. It’s up to you to set them straight.

Ask them to lose their pre-conceived notions about the speed… her age or whatever else might be bothering them and give this woman a fair shake. Tell them she is making you happy and ask they respect this and her for it. It is up to you to set the tone here, otherwise I do think she’s going to be a lamb headed for slaughter and there is nothing fair about that.

Good luck.

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Dear Aquarian,

Your question is enormously interesting because while it seems on the surface this problem is due to your husband, the situation you describe shows up in your chart very distinctly… which means if you leave him you are very likely to find yourself in a similar circumstance one way or the other. Not that there isn’t hope. There is always hope but there is little hope that waiting on him to resolve is going to produce results. Not when it’s in your chart, see.

So here’s the astrology:

You have Mars (sex) in Aquarius (detached, unusual) opposed by Saturn (restriction). And with the opposition it appears it is the fault of the other person but it will always be the fault of the other person. What I mean is that this will set up for you over and over and over until you take responsibility (Saturn) for your sexual health and happiness. And in this case, since he either can’t or won’t get an erection, you be best served to get yourself a dildo and take it to bed with you, with or without him.

Since you can’t see yourself without him, I would say take it to bed with him and tell him, “this is what we’re going to do.” And if this sounds shocking to you, that’s good. If you are afraid to do this, that is also good because it is your authentic energy.

Aquarius shocks and Saturn is scared. Anecdote is to face your fear. The anecdote is to expand rather than restrict. So just think about this with your Aquarian intellect. You show up in bed with a replacement dick… taking responsibility for the lack and what’s he going to do? Something different, right?

I know you’re scared but Mars is a hero, see. So as long as you do nothing you are going to suffer but if you will do something brave and heroic I really don’t think you can go wrong.

Good luck.

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How do you get the attention of an Aquarius man? We are just friends with the hope on my side that there will be more. It seems like after some really good conversations, on the phone and via email, I then won’t hear from him for awhile. How can I tell if he is interested in being more than friends?

How do you hook an Aquarian?

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Dear Social

With a stellium in Gemini and Jupiter conjunct your Moon in Aquarius, you really don’t want anyone making rules that impinge upon your right to flit about and roam freely. So I am not surprised you are feeling angsty. And an argument could be made that you ought to grow up and conform; however, I am not the one who is going to make it.

I do think you should grow up - but not by conforming and subverting your nature. Instead, I think you should make your nature even larger by explaining to your employer that you are committed and will do a fantastic job, but you require your time off be yours without restriction.

You might add that you are a responsible person and have no intention of coming in drunk at 4 AM to work at 6 AM… if this is true and I suspect it is. Because you do not sound irresponsible! You just sound as if you’re wigging on a short leash and if they will allow you to be leash-free, you will probably be their dream au pair.

So I would try to communicate this. It is the mature thing to do and if they insist with their rules, you just may have a deal-breaker on your hands. And even in the worst case scenario, you’d have learned something about you.

Good luck.

~~
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Ben is a Scorpio with Aquarius rising. He has Uranus conjunct his descendant, exacerbating (enhancing) his Aquarian qualities. He’s got this to say:

“I know why they copy me,” he said.

“Why?”

“Well they admire me, of course. But the thing they admire about me is that I am an individual. So rather than absorb this and go out and be an individual themselves, they go out and try to be me!” He laughed. “How can they be that stupid? Seriously. How can a person be stupid enough to think you can be an individual by copying someone else?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, Elsa, I’m telling you it makes me insane. It makes me IN-SANE. I don’t think there is anything I hate worse than someone who thinks they can be an individual by pretending to be me. Except passive aggressives, maybe. I hate them too. But anyway, let me say this. Let me get this out.”

“Okay.”

“There is only one of each of us. There is only one me. in this world and no one else is going to get to be him, but me. Not that it’s great to be me, because it’s not. My life is horrible as you know, but it is MY life. So how does a person think they can be me or anything even close to me, when they are not me? They don’t look like me, they don’t feel the things I do, think the things I do. So what is it they are trying to do? What’s wrong with their own life? What is wrong with their own person that they have to try to be me?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I have no idea.”

“Well either do I, but I think we are put on this earth as individuals and to live any other way… it’s an offense. It’s an offense to the universe to spend your time trying to be anything other than the person you are in your own right. How dare someone even try to mimic another person? The audacity!”

“Well, I agree with you.”

“If you don’t like yourself? If you aren’t happy with who you are? If you’re boring or if you bore yourself? Then go and do something about! Go make yourself into something you do like. But you can’t become individual by copying someone else. Wearing what I wear and saying what I say is not going to help you.” He stopped to sigh. “Anyway, Elsa, enough. I’m sorry but this is a pet peeve of mine. It is probably the biggest pet peeve I have. And if as many people tried to copy you as they do me, you would probably understand it. For once I would like to do or say something and not see other people doing and saying it a week later. For just once. Because they way it is, it’s as if I have to live in a world of my own clones!”

I laughed.

“I only wish it were funny. What it is, is disturbing. Whatever I wear, they wear. Whatever I eat, they want to eat it. Whatever I say, they say. I swear it’s enough to make a person mad. What’s Benjamin doing? What’s Benjamin thinking? Let me go find out so I can see what I am going to do and think tomorrow. Gah. I hate that. But I won’t say it anymore. I don’t mean to rant like this but sometimes you just want to say how much you hate something. It’s either that or explode.”

Do you have a pet peeve?

Now I am not an Aquarian, but both my parents are UBER-Aquarian so I know quite a bit about the sign. And my editor, HQ who keeps a blog was jerking my chain today. He accomplished this by posting a blog using my language. Yeah. Slick.

So I saw this, ignored it and left a comment. Because I don’t own the English language, right? People can use whatever words they want, whenever they want, however, etc. And I know that. But after I commented, he emailed to bring my attention to his craft. Continue reading Perils of Being Aquarius… and the Pluto Transit to my Natal Moon

I realized today, the famine is over. Aquarians have begun talking to me again after running and ducking for the last three years. And I remember when they stopped because I wrote a long lament about how I was heading into this Saturn and Pluto sort of era which changed my energy to something much too sluggish for your average Aquarian.

Slowly but surely the airy people around me fell away. And I let them because there was nothing I could do. I was just too dense and deep and difficult and believe me, Aquarians know quicksand when they see it.

But today, I was emailing an Aquarian and I met another at the gym this week. I’ve seem him around for years but he started talking to me recently. He’s an older man… sixties, with Christopher Lloyd, “Back To The Future”, hair. He came up to me on the cross trainer today, I was really humpin’ it.

He nodded at my water bottle, “Whatcha got? Vodka Tonic?”

Whew! Sure is glad to have these people come back ’round.

Have you ever been aware of a dramatic shift in your energy? How did you cope with the change?

I was talking to a pal about Arie, maybe you remember him. He’s the genius ex- Special Forces soldier I knew briefly. I will probably know him again, briefly because I liked Arie quite a bit, his psycho-ness aside, because he was unique and entertaining.

So I’m sure I’ll rattle his cage again at some point and when I do, he will probably respond because he liked me quite a bit, my psycho-ness aside, because I was unique and entertained. Continue reading Arie, the Shopping Special Forces Ballerina Cop: Stellium in Aquarius, Scorpio Moon

Dear Unmarried,

I’m glad you wrote because I don’t think either of those explanations is accurate in your case. There are some people out there who are just plain unconventional… period! And you are a stellar example.

You are an Aquarius rising. You have your Sun and Moon in the 11th house (Aquarius). You have Uranus (the planet that rules Aquarius) smack on your descendant and further, you have Jupiter and Saturn conjunct in you guessed it: Aquarius!

So does this make you afraid? No! It makes you an independent, nontraditional humanitarian with “friends”. And what’s wrong with that? Nothing!

My friend Ben is like you. He is also an Aquarius rising with Uranus opposing. The last “relationship” he was in was in the 80’s!! And this I not because people are not interested, because people have been literally lined up outside his door for each of the 25 years I’ve known him. But he has determined that pairing up is not for him. He wants no part of it! And he has stated this plainly for 20 years!

And you can imagine how many people have argued this with him, for what good that would do them. He’s not interested! And I have to say he is a gay man. So he is going to have an easier time pulling this off than you might as a heterosexual woman, however I just want you to know this is an option! Anything you want is an option.

So don’t go letting people tell you you’re afraid of commitment. You’re not scared! It’s just not your bag. And same with the “haven’t met the right guy yet”. Because that implies some kind of failure. You haven’t failed! You’re just living!

So might you meet a man you want to hook up with someday? Of course. But are you going to be and do like everyone else? There is no chance of that at all. I say, be happy just as you are. Because as my friend, Ben says, “This is a big world. I am sure there is enough room for someone like me…”

Good luck.

~~
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