I was on the phone with Alexa. She’s knows some astrology…

“Yeah, I’m good,” I said. “I had a pretty good day, though I don’t do much but lie around in black clothes,” I laughed. ‘Don’t worry, it’s not like it may sound. I’m not depressed. I’m not depressed in the least. But this transit is turning out exactly as one of my astrologer pals (cf perez) said it would, last year. To hell with it. I’m just going to lie down in my black clothes and let it come to me.” Continue reading Pluto Transit to the Moon - Mine: Be Still, Swamp Thing

Back at the gym today, I ran into Salesman again. He told me he loved me the other day which was… I don’t know. It surprised me but not. How do you love someone who has done nothing but reject you for months?

Not sure what he was talking about I did not respond and he did not elaborate. But anyway, he came in and again there was a gal working out on the machine next to me and the machine on the other side of my broken. And again when he emerged from the locker room, she was gone so he hopped on the machine next to me and asked me if I really had a man.

“Some women just tell you that,” he said.

Well I don’t have a man at the moment, but I sure as hell did back when I said I did. Back when I jumped down his throat, I mean.

“Do I look like a liar?” I asked. “So you think I may be a liar? Well, you’re wrong about that,” I said.

He nodded and I saw no reason to update my situation. I am not looking for a man. Absolutely not. And it’s really none of his business.

“I was going to ask you if you wanted to see that movie… Apocalypto.”

I laughed. There’s the Mars Saturn violence, right? But it’s bigger than that. I saw one of my favorite movies of all time, Apocalypse Now, with the soldier, back in the day. I just shook my head. Astrology is something else.

“That’s a freakishly violent movie,” I said. “Yuck.”

“It’s supposed to be good.”

“Yeah, right.”

I quit talking. He did not. He told me which day he was leaving his job, to move states. I happen to know the soldier is leaving his job as well… on the exact same day. I smiled.

“See how fast the time goes when I’m talking to you,” he said, indicating the timer on the crosstrainer.

“Yep,” I said. I vividly recall working out with the soldier, 30 years ago. We used to do our sit-ups together.

“That’s because we’re soulmates,” he said.

“Soulmates?”

“Yeah. Soulmates.”

“Well that’s funny. You think we’re soulmates? You’re leaving town.”

“It’s only 1000 miles away.”

I laughed. “I think you’re crazy.”

skip to synastry…

CC commented regarding my blog about Apocalypse Now, “It’s a pretty strong and illustrative statement to call it your favorite film.” ::smiles:: I like how she said that, and I guess I agree with her. But what she doesn’t know is I have a long and somewhat sordid / amusing history with Special Forces soldiers. I seem to attract them and vice versa, which is a trick considering I don’t live in a city where they are concentrated. And this has been true since I was seventeen years old.

In fact, I saw that movie, opening day, or the day after, with my boyfriend at the time, who went on to become career Special Forces. He was a real bad ass, as evidenced by the fact he survived 16 years in SF, which I don’t think many manage.

Anyway, when that movie came out, people were so pissed. They hated it! They were pissed because Brando, who they came to see, did not appear until the end of the film. The were pissed at his character too. They didn’t like his bald head! They were pissed that he was filmed in shadow. They were pissed over the violent slaughter of an animal, and they were just plain PISSED in general and on principal! So how’s that for Mars?

Believe me, people hated that movie when it came out, but it is one hell of a movie as time has shown. There has been nothing like it since, as far as I’m concerned and I’ll tell you what I mean.

There is no pandering in that movie. There is no “product placement”! There is no philosophy being shoved down your throat. It’s just a story. It’s pure story and fuck you, if you don’t like it. Further, it’s got that spear in it!

When that spear hits that guy…well I have never been more profoundly impacted by a scene in a movie in my life. I remember seeing that the first time, like yesterday. And it takes a minute before the nuance hits. The irony of what that spear represents. And this is high art. To move someone with a bit of celluloid the way that scene moved me.

Because I have spent my life recalling that moment. When the guy looks down and sees what has happened, with all the meaning attached. You see it come to his consciousness, with a mixture of agony and enlightenment. Do you know that feeling? I do. And to put that shit on film…well, it just brings me to my knees. And moves me to tears.

But anyway, Special Forces. I have an affinity with these men, I won’t deny it. And one more thing.

Just look at that picture of Brando. Could it possibly be better lit? I don’t think so.

So what is your favorite movie and why?

Now personally, I favor Mars type movies. War movies, like Apocalypse Now which is probably my all time favorite (and the reason I write ‘redux’ in blog titles). If you think about it, that movie is full of Mars (raw male energy) symbolism. Like Robert Duvall walking across the screen with his posture erect, the bombs, the knives, the spears.

And what about the stealth side of Mars? Martin Sheen’s character is constantly probing. Every move he makes, every thought he has is tied to the hunt. He’s not thinking ’bout some girl back home, is he?

But here’s the story I was going to tell. Astrologer cf, of ancientsky.com is a friend of mine. She got that way by liking me when no one else did. She owns a mailing list, and back when Pluto was transiting my Sun, I was doing a lot of writing in an attempt to process. I was writing all over the place but running into trouble. I was being rejected (and censored) left and right, because my writing was so graphic and apparently grueling to read. But cf thought I was cool. And I don’t know all of the reasons, but I do know one of them.

cf is a feminist sort of person who is very interested in Mars. More specifically she is interested in inspiring women to use their Mars, or in other words - to assert themselves. And she feels a woman’s unwillingness to do so is the cause of enormous grief for both sexes, so when I came along she was really stoked.

Of course I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. I try to stay as oblivious as possible, but she explained I was a Mars archetype.

“A what?” I asked. “I’m a what?”

::laughs::

And to clarify she gave me the name of two movies. She explained they were both chock full of Mars, and specifically Mars type women, or in the case of “Lawn Dogs“, a Mars type little girl.

She specifically said the little girl in “Lawn Dogs” had my personality, exactly which I doubted mightily at the time. But then I got the movie and it would be hard to convey the level of my shock. Because I watched this little chick (Mischa Barton, ten years ago) do exactly as I would do…have done, I mean which was pretty astonishing.

I was shocked to see this on-screen but also befuddled as to how cf knew so much about me. And that’s the thing about cf. She’s smart as a whip.

Now I loved that movie and the other title she gave me was grand as well. “Bagdad Cafe“. This a wonderful magical movie. And there is pissed off (Mars) woman in it, who throws metal (Mars) cans at her man (Mars) as he sits passively in his truck.

Now I have Mars (anger) conjunct Mercury (cars) and though I have never beaten a vehicle, I have threatened several! And I would have beat them up if they had not hightailed it the fuck out of there…like the man in this movie did not!

Anyway, this gal (Brenda) is a hoot. She storms around, shoots indoors and so forth. Bottom line, she’s having no problem using her Mars. And for the record, she’s fetching in spite, so if you are one those women who have trouble asserting yourself, you might want to check these movies out and get some inspiration. Some permission! And if you’re more like me?

Well you might get a kick out of them as well. I know I did. Not that I didn’t cringe now and then! I have Libra! But all in all, it’s beautiful to see women portrayed, authentically and unapologetically assertive. And not in a “cartoon violence” kind of way, but exactly as we exist in nature. because we do exist in nature, you know.