shell writes on Will It Take 10 Years To Assimilate:

“Is that kind of like when something happens in your life that is painful, and you think you’ve learned a lesson and will be better equipped to handle it the next time around; yet when it happens again, it still hurts like hell and you have a brain fart as to how to handle it productively? And the second time around, you have baggage from the first time which only adds to the backache? Yeah, I could see how maturity would be the only thing to help. But that only goes so far, huh?”
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: My 8th House Puts A Fine Point On Trauma - Specialists, Audiophiles, Bliss, And A Perspective On Death And Multiple Lives

The soldier is showing Vidroid various knots and tying him up per his request. I have been standing by observing and remarked how hard it was for me to fathom a person could have interest in learning all this stuff. The soldier explained it is imperative you know this stuff for mountain warfare… got to be able to make a rope bridge and so forth and I just stared.

A few minutes later I helping him untie knots Vidroid had tied in the rope before these games began and looking at him I felt a deep longing.

Taking a chance I asked him, “Do you miss me?’

“Yes.”

“You miss me even though I am sitting right here?”

“Yes.”

“Me too, what is that?”

“I don’t know - It’s a curse.”

And this is what I mean by primal.

Pluto, Scorpio and the 8th house… projecting your shadow, a real life example.

Elsa Blog about Kate - Cock-Blocking Women - Is This A Trend?

Kate’s article with comments: “What Modern Women Want: A Beta Male”

Kingsley writes on Feeling vs Primal Drive:

“I am not sure one can actually distinguish between the two actions Elsa . Perhapsd afterwards in the analysis wash up one might be able to self reflect how and why their reactions worked the way they did. There are two types of feelings (in a simplistic theory) Surface feelings and character feelings…”

Read the rest of the comment.

Kingsley, I think I get this and I think I am talking about something else. When I say “primal”, I am talking about something deeper that common to all of us, for example a woman and her ticking baby clock or a man who wants to stick his dick in something. We should be above all these things, however we are not.

Continue reading Astrology And Psychology: Is It The Personality, Or Is it Primal And In The Blood?

goddess write on How Much Of What You Do Is Subconsciously Driven

“I get feelings, and try to act on them. I don’t usually know where they come from, and even when I try to figure it out, it takes SO much more energy to try and logically explain them-and even then, I’m not sure if I’m coming up with an explanation or rationalization-it’s much easier to just listen to them and go on. And they’re always right, so why fight it?”

Continue reading Astrology, Neptune And Pluto: Acting On A Feeling vs A Primal Drive

It was at my Saturn return I really became aware of how unconscious I was of my own motivations. I have significant Capricorn so discovering this was harrowing. It was also horrifying because say what? What do you mean I’m not in control!? I better damned so be in control.

But I learned that not only was I partially being driven by my subconscious, I was primarily being driven by my subconscious and when I really came to know this as a fact, I made friends with the idea.

I realized I had navigated pretty damned well for someone who doesn’t know what they are doing which meant I did know what I was doing, it simply was not in my conscious mind. So now all these years later, if you know me you hear me say things like this:

“I don’t know what I am up to but I am obviously doing something…”

I also say this all the time:

“Let my subconscious take care of it, see what it wants to do.  I am just not going to worry about that at all.”

I have learned to trust my subconscious implicitly because what else am I to do? I become conscious when and if and in my case if the when comes, it usually takes about 10 years for me to really understand what I have done and that is at best. 15 or 20 may be more realistic but anyway, here is my question:

See that graphic? I think that’s about right. I think 90% falls below the line in my case. But I want to know if others agree. Is it due a packed eighth house - so much depth it takes this long for things to surface or is the 90/10 thing universal?

Submit your own open question

Last night the soldier and I went out for dinner in Salina, Kansas. We got back to the motel and I saw someone in Salina, Kansas was reading my blog.

“One of these days were are going to be out somewhere and someone is going to send us a drink,” I said.

He just looked at me.

“They will know us but we won’t know them.”

He continued to look at me.

“Well hell, at least we’ll get a Margarita out of the deal.”

He just stared, I am not sure he wants a drink that bad, LOL.

Do you pay attention to things like this? I do and consequently I have early warning all the time.

Heather M wrote regarding Disturbing Scorpio:

“A person should be able to share. It’s too bad your very watery friend could not be more sensitive to you. Maybe another time.”

It’s all right, Heather M. I know he loves me and would do anything I asked him to, including continue to listen. It’s just I don’t need that right now. I really was just filling him in, hitting the main points. I am the kind of person if you don’t track me, pretty soon you can’t catch up. There is just so much that happens to me and around me - it’s always been this way.

When I first started keeping a blog in 2001, people wondered when I would run out of stories. How many stories can she possibly have?

Well I will never run out of stories nor have the time to tell all the stories I have. I figure maybe 5 or 10% could be told if I wrote every day for the rest of my life and this is only if my life was very long… like into my 80’s.

If you think about it, you can see the amount of work I have to do is staggering so it should be no wonder to anyone why I would not mind dying sooner. Because man, I am tired! It’s an endless mountain, see? Or endless depth. Or maybe it’s both. In whatever case I am quite sure I am supposed to put this out there.

Um… the mountain is Capricorn, the depth, my 8th house. The endless stories come from Mercury in the 9th and Jupiter hard core.

The soldier called within 5 minutes to ask me if I wanted to come out and wait in the truck wash line as it can take hours to get your truck washed. He was trying to peace-make which I appreciated but I saw no sense going out there when I could not return the gesture. It seemed a better idea I maintain the space because I was working on a deep level that was productive for me.

I was thinking about what I had written on my blog about going down in a well. I was thinking how good I am at this. I have spent my whole like in a well and I was thinking I ought to go on my blog and tell people how this is best done because I do know.

Continue reading Mercury in Aries vs Mercury in Libra (With Mars Involved): Boundaries, Patience And Energy Focused Somewhere Productive

Please excuse the tears in this. I left them in because they are Venus / Neptune of course. Stephen Arroyo’s book is linked below. So is Leonard Cohen’s Energy of Slaves. I think my 8th house is also vividly displayed here. I get pregnant… easy.

Person-To-Person Astrology: Energy Factors in Love, Sex and Compatibility by Stephen Arroyo

The Energy Of Slaves by Leonard Cohen

Blogs inspired by the person who gifted me “The Energy Of Slaves”