I’ve got a lot of Capricorn in my chart and consequently I was exposed to more than my share of “old men” when I was a “kid”. And these old men told me all kinds of things, all of which turned out to be correct as far as I can recall.

And what’s funny is a lot of them were drunk! Yeah. I worked in an old man’s bar when I was 19 so many of the old men I talked to were drunker than snot but they still turned out to be completely correct. They’d been around the block, see? That was all there was to it and by this time, I’ve been around the block myself. So I am in effect an old man and I am telling you the world is not going to end in 2012 and I’ll tell you how I know this.

I know this because the world was going to end when I was a kid. Not once but several times. Four or five times the world was going to end but this one time it was really, really, for sure going to end and in case you had any doubt, you could read the warnings from the billboards on the highways in the town where I grew up because they were there. THE END OF THE WORLD, OKAY? IT’S COMING!!!!!!!!!

And being 8 years old you might imagine I’d have been scared but I was not. Because by the time I was 8, I’d already seen way too much of life and I was more than willing to leave. I was willing to die, I would gladly die, so I looked on this as an opportunity to escape.

So the day came and as I recall some people were going to be lifted up before the thing happened. Before the earth turned into a fire ball or whatever. Not many… maybe three or four people… ::smiles::: But I wanted to be one of them, if possible. For the adventure, see?

I mean think about it. It’s the end of the world. Do you want to burn up or do you want to go flying into the sky? There is no question. So I got up early that day and I went outside… way outside into the open.

Now I grew up in the desert so it was all “open” but I didn’t know that. And I am Capricorn. I am innately cautious so I made sure the path from me to the sky was completely unobstructed. I didn’t sit under a tree for example. I had this figured out.

So I went outside and stood there and waited to lifted and… nothing. Filled with faith, I waited some more and some more and some more and… nothing.

I started to feel sad but I kept myself standing there… nothing. Eventually, legs tired, I sat down in the dirt and still… nothing.

As the day progressed, my posture slumped. I wound up with my head in my hands, and by the end of the day I started to cry as reality began to dawn… I was not getting out of this life. God what a gyp!

I stayed outside the whole day with no water, the hot desert sun burning my skin. Would I want to be inside getting a drink of water when the sky shuttle arrived? Of course not.

Eventually I was called inside to make dinner for my family. I could not believe it. I was counting on this thing and I could not believe I’d been tricked. I swear it was one of the saddest days of my life so you know what?

You all prepare for the end of the world if you wish, but me? Been there, done that.

What about you?