Dear Eye,

With a stellium in Scorpio, Mercury conjunct Pluto and Venus and Mars conjunct, I would say you were destined to be sexual.  But thinking about sex does not make one a slut.

Rather than judging yourself and the thoughts that come to you naturally, how about you spend some time thinking about just exactly what a slut is… because it sounds as if you don’t want to be one.

As far as I am concerned, thinking and doing are two different things. Just because something occurs to you does not mean you have to act on it. We are not dogs but human beings and capable of being civilized.

I say try to relax. People think about having sex with other people all the time and manage to keep their pants on all the time. You can be one of them if you want so no. You are not destined to be a slut.

Good luck.

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Dear Wife,

I feel very sorry for you and wish I had some magic remedy but I think you’ve got this situation figured correctly except for the idea this other woman is your husband’s true love. She may be, but it is more likely they are making you (and her husband) pay - and I mean pay in spades - for your affair.

In fact, the chances are if you were to pull out and walk away, their relationship would crumple as it would have outlived its usefulness, which is to punish you for as long as you allow.

Now this does not excuse you. You are absolutely culpable for the state of your marriage however I see no reason to berate you because you have already been and continue to be punished by the universe, the powers that be or whatever you want to call it, by this little thing called, “reality”.

Reality is a Saturn concept and with Saturn in Virgo set to transit your Venus in Gemini and Moon Jupiter in Pisces you can expect to become more and more aware of reality over the next year which will be a curse… and a gift.

A gift because you state you are falling apart. Well, you will not be allowed to fall apart during a Saturn transit. You will be pressured to act as an adult and take responsibility for your emotions, your beliefs and your actions in relationships which is exactly what you are doing. And that’s it. From here you just keep doing what you are doing - doing the right thing while letting your faith support you.

You have an innate knowing that things turn out for the best, so keep that in mind. Hold that perspective as you go through this process, which does look to be grueling and protracted - but hey. Is there any other way? There is not, and one more thing:

On your friends telling you to leave, never mind them. You will leave when and if you leave on your own terms, under your own conditions and on your own timetable. This is another Saturn lesson, see? Boundaries. I get so sick of people telling other people what to do. They don’t have to live with the result, you do. So make your own decision and take your time to do this because when Saturn is around, slow and careful beats impulsive action every time.

Good luck.

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Dear Aquarian,

Your question is enormously interesting because while it seems on the surface this problem is due to your husband, the situation you describe shows up in your chart very distinctly… which means if you leave him you are very likely to find yourself in a similar circumstance one way or the other. Not that there isn’t hope. There is always hope but there is little hope that waiting on him to resolve is going to produce results. Not when it’s in your chart, see.

So here’s the astrology:

You have Mars (sex) in Aquarius (detached, unusual) opposed by Saturn (restriction). And with the opposition it appears it is the fault of the other person but it will always be the fault of the other person. What I mean is that this will set up for you over and over and over until you take responsibility (Saturn) for your sexual health and happiness. And in this case, since he either can’t or won’t get an erection, you be best served to get yourself a dildo and take it to bed with you, with or without him.

Since you can’t see yourself without him, I would say take it to bed with him and tell him, “this is what we’re going to do.” And if this sounds shocking to you, that’s good. If you are afraid to do this, that is also good because it is your authentic energy.

Aquarius shocks and Saturn is scared. Anecdote is to face your fear. The anecdote is to expand rather than restrict. So just think about this with your Aquarian intellect. You show up in bed with a replacement dick… taking responsibility for the lack and what’s he going to do? Something different, right?

I know you’re scared but Mars is a hero, see. So as long as you do nothing you are going to suffer but if you will do something brave and heroic I really don’t think you can go wrong.

Good luck.

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Dear Scorpio,

Yeah, you sound just like your chart. But here’s the thing. It’s just energy. You are just this ball of intense energy and at the moment this is what you do and how you live with yourself. But it only a way in a sea of alternatives so whatever you do, don’t give up hope. Because changing your life and the way you express yourself is completely within your capabilities if you opt to choose a new direction. But right now, you are not choosing a new direction.

For example when you feel an urge, rather than act on it in any way, you squelch and berate yourself over it - and as long as you continue to act in this manner it’s pretty clear that nothing will change. Which means that what happens is entirely up to you and it’s very important you register this fact. No one is going to do anything about this but you. No once CAN do anything about this buy you and this is important on two levels.

First, you see that you are in control of what happens to you and secondly you that your problem (if you opt to define it that way) is your responsibility. These are concepts compatible with your chart. So say the next time you have an urge your decide you are going to do something and that something can be anything (that is legal). For example… and this may piss you off, but I never talk down to Scorpio, so here is comes straight - what occurs to me is you find yourself a surrogate. And I may take some heat for this but I’ll tell you what.

I am trying to do as you ask. I am trying to help you put an end to this and when you’ve gone this long it seems a little stupid to me to say, “just ask the nice girl out”. You are clearly blocked.

And when I say “surrogate” I don’t necessarily mean for pay though I am not against that. What I mean is that you find a sex partner who knows what is going on with you and what you want and need so you can approach this with a degree of detachment which is another thing organic to you. You have an Aquarius Moon and you WANT a degree of detachment so I will just say this in plain language:

1. Your chart is very FIXED, meaning you don’t jump tracks all that easy. However, if you do jump tracks you will then be on a new one and if I were you I would opt to get on a track that has sex included because this other is not healthy.

2. You can move tracks, you only need make it your will and there are people out there who would be very interested in mixing it up with someone like you.

3. As for a method, be creative. Just as a man wants a crack at a virgin, there are scads of women who would be enormously intrigued with the opportunity to initiate you and most of them would also be happy to allow you to dominate.

Last, the embarrassment?

Well I’d let go of that completely. You have nothing to be embarrassed of because you have done nothing wrong.

Good luck.

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Dear Scorpio,

I am not sure you’re broken so I would take care in trying to fix anything. No you are not “blocked”. It is exactly opposite that. You are an exceedingly ethereal and float-y person and it may be that physical sex is somewhat gross to someone so transcendent.

Basically here’s your deal: You have a packed 12th house, and Neptune (dissipate) conjunct your Mars (sex drive). Your whole chart is beautifully strung and this is reflected in the fact you are so comfortable with what you are. It’s very, Alfred E. Newman, famous for his line, “What? Me Worry?”

And if you re-read your post you will see it is almost as if you are trying to “get it up” and concern yourself with what others think you should be concerned with and you can do this if you want. Part of you likes to experiment so go right ahead. I would only warn you not to take on someone else’s idea there is something wrong with you because this is not the case.

There are men and women out there who eschew sex and feel perfectly fine. A Catholic nun would be a good example of this… she simply has other (larger) things on her mind.

And just remember this: Scorpio wields power. But sexuality is just one expression of that.

Good luck.

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Dear Taurus,

You’re pretty demanding for a submissive type. ::smiles::

Your requirements are exacting and you don’t demand anyone conform to your standards, you just leave them when they fail to conform to your standards!

What you have is a chart full of oppositions. You have Venus opposite Neptune, various other sundries that all combine to create a hall of mirrors where the thing you are looking for is what you are and the thing that repels you is also what you are.

Does this preclude you from having a sex life? I doubt it. A relationship? No.

Does it preclude you from being a successful submissive? Yeah probably, seeing as you are as dominant as you are submissive… dang!

There is nothing to do but explore this your whole life.

Good luck.

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Dear Pluto,

As far as I am concerned, you are already in a real relationship. You’re there, he is there and there is a dynamic. So what you are really asking is if you can turn the relationship into something it isn’t and no, I don’t think you can. And I say this based on your chart.

The conflict you describe is shown in your chart in several ways and on multiple levels. For example, you have a packed 7th house (wants a partner) but it is packed with Aries (wants to hunt).

The fact that Pluto in Libra opposes your Aries brings projection into this big time and if you doubt me, just re-read your post.

He pulls away when you get close, then you pull away to get him close, and then someone else pulls away and the other clings. Can you see the hall of mirrors? In case you can’t, let me spell it out.

I guarantee you that if this guy started clinging to you, you’d balk. You would do this in spite of the fact you’re a Cancer and intermittently want security. Because what fun is security when there is “gut-wrenching, primal sex” out there?

You get the idea…

For what it’s worth, you are not alone. Most of us have conflicting desires to one degree or the other. But as for advice, I would recommend you work to know yourself better than you do, because guess what?

This shows up in your chart, not his. Good luck.

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Dear Mom,

Yes there is something in your chart that explains this. You have Uranus (experiment) in Scorpio (sex) square a 10th house (conservative) Sun in Leo (who me, the Queen?), and that’s just for starters. Your chart is full of this contradiction, so what to do?

Well first, a new frame will help. Quit calling yourself “dual-natured”. You’re no Gemini. What you are is an upstanding citizen with a wild streak. See? All one person. But one person who judges themselves rather than accepting themselves and here’s how to fix that:

You know how when you go to the eye doctor, they show you two images and you are supposed to merge them together? Overlay them? This is your task. Because there is such a thing as a mother who loves sex. There better be because if not, then what am I?

As to your husband, if he is completely unaware of your proclivities, I would slowly introduce yourself to him. I am sure the thought is terrifying but much less frightening then living a dual life when you’re one person. And here’s some reassurance:

People don’t meet by mistake. I doubt your husband freaks out especially if you are sensitive about how you go about this. Matter of fact, the way you are living now: part of being ‘wonderful” means he has to hold up your fa§ade and while this may seem okay on the surface, on a deeper level it is oppressive to him, I am sure.

So bottom line, I think relief lies in merging the two personas rather than trying to balance, which is what you’ve been attempting.

Good luck.

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Dear Wondering,

The first thing that occurs to me is he may have a problem getting an erection. If this is the case, there are drugs on the market to remedy the problem in most cases, but you’ll have to find out if this in fact what is going on. And you should probably do this as gently as possible as he seems somewhat fragile.

Now unfortunately, you have indications of a thwarted or reduced sex life in your chart which does not mean you are destined to be bereft of sex… but does make me think you might fare better if you lower your expectations. Because you do seem to care for this man (and he for you) and if he has some kind of problem, your high hopes have probably got him scared to death. So here’s my advice:

Yes of course continue to see him, and yes or course attempt to seduce him… but go very easy, giving him lots of time to tell you what his problem is.

Good luck.

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Dear Sagittarius,

Is masturbating a lot harmful to your health? No I don’t so. In fact I think it’s enormously healthy and good for you especially considering you have Mars conjunct Pluto in Scorpio and various other sundries that need to find expression… or else.

I can see why you would worry about this though. You’re 19 and you look around and it seems you are far more sexual that your peers. You are far more interested in fantasy and sexual experimentation that your peers and guess what. You’re right! If there is a continuum of sexual interest along which all people fall, you are going to be towards the end of it but so what? This is who you are.

Forget the worry. Unless this is interfering with your work or school… unless you have crossed the line into a bona fide addiction (where your masturbating is causing problems outside of “worry” which is a false thing ala “manufactured fear”), then I think you should continue doing exactly what you’re doing because you need the release. It’s actually healthy for you… when you have a muscle, you ought to flex it.

I say accept and embrace your sexuality because it is part of your nature. And for people who gawk at you like you are some kind of freak… never mind them because they have monkeys of their own to deal with, don’t let them tell you otherwise.

Good luck.

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