Hi Elsa,

My boyfriend has a Scorpio friend that he has known for about five years. She doesn’t like me. It is very difficult to deal with this because as far as I can tell nothing I have done has caused her to dislike me — I am her pal’s girlfriend and she
doesn’t like it, period. Everything I say or do is taken the same way (politely, but dismissively). She is older than both of us — much older than I am — and I am not worried about romantic attraction on his part at all — nothing to do with her age, just getting that out of the way.

I don’t really have much interest in cultivating a friendship with someone who so obviously doesn’t want one with me, but my main problem is the boyfriend. I know he is an Aquarius and all, but his attitude is to stay out of it. He expects me to act like an adult and I am trying to transcend this but it is very hard since we hang out with her a lot (they work together). It is becoming an issue because he says I just shouldn’t hang out with them when he’s hanging out with her but this strikes me as kind of unfair. I really don’t want this to devolve into a tug-of-war.

All of his other friends are fine with me. Usually I get along really well with Scorpios so I don’t know what the deal is
here. What can I do?

Motivated
Thailand

Continue reading Open Question: Leo Woman’s Aquarius Man Has Scorpio Woman Friend Who Gives Her A Hard Time: Astrology-Based Advice

Dear Capricorn,

I don’t think you are overreacting. I would feel used myself which would give rise to feelings or mistrust that would be uncomfortable.

Now I am sure there are lighter fare folks out there who would read this situation otherwise.  You could be criticized or seen as a control freak for example but I see a pattern here and think your hit on this is correct: you brought her in too soon and I am sorry.

Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

My son pulled his yearbook from his backpack as I was dropping him at the bus stop yesterday. “Here’s this, I forgot,” he said.

I was surprised but it occurred to me immediately, “Is Belle in here?”

“Yes,” he said blushing.

“Okay, well I want to see her.”He got out of the car with a groan like a normal 8 year old (almost 9, or 10 if he is at school) boy. I pulled up the street a bit and opened the yearbook to see the lovely Belle and well…

Continue reading Sun Conjunct Saturn @ 8 Years Old - Mom Sneaks A Peek At Vidroid’s Love, Belle

Here’s another for the Mars Pluto opposition…

Awhile back I wrote about losing friends during Pluto’s transit to my 11th house. Over the weekend the soldier was going through his stuff and he came across and old address book. He cracked it open and turned it towards me. Every name and address on the page had this written across it in capital letters that had been gone over several times:

DEAD

Can you imagine?

A long time ago an old man told me they did not aspire to live to old age because anyone who does winds up burying all their friends. I was chilled by this concept even though I was about 20 at the time so pretty safely removed from the prospect of this happening to me or so I thought at the time. I have learned otherwise.

You can lose all your friends via war or you can lose your friend via pregnancy as I outlined in the other blog. My kids lost their friends when the next door neighbors moved and there have not been kids on the block their age since. Gay men lost their friends in droves when AIDS sprung up and I could go on and on.

Have you ever suffered the loss of friends like this? How did it affect you?

Dear Scorpio,

I am not positive what is going on here but I have some guesses. First, it may help to understand your friend’s nature. As a Cancer she is going to withdraw at times. She can’t help this anymore than a leopard can help the fact it has spots, so it might help to ease some of the conflict if you became aware of this.

Secondly, although you have a stellium in Scorpio you have an Aquarius Moon and you like quirky women. So in essence part of this problem lies in you. If you were pure Scorpio this would be a much simpler equation but there is conflict between the needs of Scorpio and Aquarius and they are reflected in your relationship with your friend.

Now here’s my advice: get hip to the fact this girl has moods and I don’t mean she has one or two moods, she has twelve! Keep an eye on this and you will see what I mean, each mood last 2.5 days (the length of time the Moon stays in a sign).

Armed with this information, learned to recognize which moods don’t jibe so well with you (for example if she wants / needs to be alone she is going to push you out) and when they come along, use your innate ability to detach (Aquarius) to protect your more tender Scorpio side.

Scorpio can also deal with this because it can be like a science experiment and you are not just studying her. Because what will help you most is getting to know yourself better and frankly, this girl seems a perfect vehicle on that front.

Good luck!

Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info.

Dear Girl,

I feel for you and while I have no magic solution for you, I have some angles that may help.

First, take a look at how you got this way. You created this defense to protect yourself. I imagine leaving your friends was inordinately painful for you so it made logical sense to not get close to people since you knew you would only be setting yourself up to be devastated. So look at that and look at the difference between now and then.

Then you were a kid, but now you are 24 and you have a lot more to say about how you live your life. You need not leave or lose your friends ever again. Even if someone moves, you can keep in touch. I have maintained friendships at a distance for decades and they are a rich and strong as they ever were. The point here is that you get very clear with the idea it is safe to invest in friendship. Because by the tone of your post, you’re lacking this understanding.

The next point I’d make is that you only need one friend. Forget about making “friends”. You have a stellium in Scorpio and you are never going to want a million friends. What you want is an “inner circle” and you create one of those one soul at a time.

For example there was a point in my life where I was down to one friend (Ben) for a period of years. For about 3 years, Ben was all I had and vice versa and we sustained each other. Eventually things shifted, planets progressed and both our lives opened up to include more people but you get my point. I would be out there looking for 1 friend, which I bet you can find. So don’t talk to everyone. Scope around and talk to the one person you really want to know.

Forget about being a social butterfly, that’s not who you are. Instead, narrow your focus and look for one person you can relate to and I think you’ll find your friend and eventually another… and you’ll pull out of this early trauma just fine.

Good luck

Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Confused,

What your gal pal is doing with her Sun in Aries and her Moon in Leo is boasting about her conquests. Considering you have your Sun, Moon, Venus and Mars in Aquarius, just having it put that way might allow you a bit more detachment… or not. Because as Aquarian as you may be, you have Neptune exactly conjunct your ascendant, in easy (and very tight) aspect to your Moon and Pluto and this indicates some serious sensitivity.

So what I think is happening is you are trying to stay in head about this. You think you should be able to but your feelings are deep, they leak is all over the place and consequently you find yourself in this situation. And you have some choices via that same Neptune rising and here are the main three:

You can continue to transcend. You can escape this whole situation, or alternately you can try to teach this girl to be more sensitive, which is the option I would recommend. And you’re right. She may not like it. She may want it to be ME, ME, ME. It may be more important to her to be able to brag than it is to have you for a friend and if this is the case, don’t you think you’d better find out?

I’d say, yes. Because if this is the case, she’s really not what you thought she was and at that point, I bet you’ll be able to detach… if you choose.

Good luck.

Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Cusp,

It may be hopeless. I am sure your friend did not like being manipulated back into a relationship with you; however you have what may be a potential ace in the hole.

See, you’re not merely a Scorpio. Your Sun is part of a stellium in the sign that includes Venus, Mars, Neptune and the Black Moon Lilith. Further, you are possibly a Scorpio rising as well, plus your have Pluto (rules Scorpio) tightly sextile your Moon. And translated this means that you are a Scorpio on steroids, which means one of two things in this circumstance.

Either you have thoroughly repulsed this woman and you can commence to chewing your arm off or alternately, if you can take a long enough, hard enough look at how you behaved here… if you humble yourself (Capricorn Moon) and get a better grip on your own psychology, i.e. - become aware of and watch your tendency to manipulate people - you may enjoy a rebirth in this woman’s life. MAY.

So do you want to do that?

Good luck.

Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Friend,

It sounds as if you like this girl, so I would recommend you familiarize yourself with Cancers. For example, they are moody. And they don’t have two or three moods either. They have 12 moods and there is nothing anyone can do to stop or change this… take it from a Capricorn who’s tried!

Cancer is associated with the Crab, which withdraws into a shell at times by its nature. And nothing and no one is going to be able to stop a crab from doing this however if you will respect a crab’s way of being in the world, you should have no problems

Now more personal to your situation, it sounds like your friend likes you during most of her moods (which can be tracked by the Moon by the way… a mood change every 2.5 days), so you’re in pretty good shape here as far as maintaining a relationship with her. You only need not take it personally when she retreats, because she’s going to do it no matter what. Just think of a beaver or a polar bear. It goes in the water, it comes out of the water, it goes in the water and it comes out of the water.

You will never cure this kind of animal into living on land (or in the water) full time, nor should you try.

Good luck.
~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Dear Friend,

Advice and encouragement? Yes! I think you are completely on track. When it comes to friendship, quality trumps quantity in every way, shape and form. Stick with the friend who validates and values you and with time, exactly what you expect will occur.

You will slowly change and see things improve on all levels and when it is time for someone new to come into your life, they will find you. And on this note, HQ said something to me earlier this week.

We were talking about a friend of mine and a few weeks back HQ asked, “Does anyone in his life care about his happiness?”

I told him that I cared and outside of that, I really could not be sure. There are certain people out there who are so valuable as dumping grounds people don’t bother to think or care about how they feel and I thought he might fit this profile.

And a couple weeks have passed since we had this conversation and I have thought about it a lot. And I have scanned this man’s life for another entity concerned with his happiness. An although there are still some prospects I have yet to find a peer and reported the same to HQ.

“Well, you only really need to have one person who really cares about you in this life…”

That right there, is a home truth. Keep the friend that cares about you and you will find your way.

Good luck.

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…