Dear Good,

Yes! Your Moon is in Libra, the sign of balance so you inherently know what is fair. That’s a help, but Libra can also be subtly controlling which can definitely piss people off.

It’s up to you but knowing what is “fair”, you might consciously decide to let your partner have slightly more than s/he is entitled to, for the sake of peace and ease of negotiations. This might not be the easiest thing, but it’s doable if you think in terms of transcendence.

Many people spend their lives locked in conflict with an ex. To me this seems a perfect horror and a waste of a person’s time and energy on this planet. If you feel similar you can see how giving up a little more than what is fair is a bargain in the long run.

Supporting this tack is Neptune transiting your seventh house (relationships). Neptune is concerned with what is good for “all”. It suggests you can be soft and yielding in negotiations, trusting that what you give will come back to you… in spades.

Good luck.

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Dear Sagittarian,

It sounds to me as if he is telling you what is in his head but in a passive aggressive way that is not your preference.

You have Saturn conjunct your Sun which indicates your serious nature and your desire to plan towards a goal. It does not sound as if this man has a goal in common with yours so yeah. If you are looking for a live in relationship, I think you’d do best to move on.

I’m sorry and good luck.

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Dear Wife,

I would not worry about Mercury retrograde. Sign the lease and get the hell out. Some things trump other things and this is a case of that.

If you want some more astrology for reassurance, there is a sweet little thing called a Jupiter Saturn trine aspecting your Mars and you should have no doubt you are doing the right thing and will be supported by the universe. Your other challenges are also paper tigers, let’s get real (Saturn) about what is true (Jupiter).

A man who assaults women and has an affair a month does not meet some gal at work and transform into Mr. Wonderful. You know who and what he is and she will find out I’m sure. The guy sounds like a sociopath to me and it is not uncommon they be charming.

As for why he wants this other woman, he does not want this other woman, are your kidding? He wants to meet people, mess with them, ruin their lives. and move along. She doesn’t know this yet but you do.

Keep your head, keep your focus. You have your evidence, Virgo - now get out, get out, get out.

Good luck.

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Dear Stellium,

It makes no sense to you that your boyfriend who had another girlfriend is not around all that much? Well it makes nothing but sense to me. He’s with the other woman!

I would definitely recommend you bail but not because of anything he is doing. Bail because you are 45 years old, not yet divorced, have self-proclaimed trust issues and you are possibly dating someone else’s man 0 - who it seems can ultimately do nothing but give you even more “trust issues”.

I am sorry to be blunt, but it doesn’t sound as if you are ready for a new relationship in any way, shape or form. Shouldn’t you take a minute, a week, a month, or a year to ponder what went on in your marriage and what might be the root cause of your “trust issues”?

I would not make this kind of judgment if you were involved in something that seemed even remotely reasonable but dating another woman’s man and calling him “flighty” because he is not around smacks of someone profoundly confused. I think your best bet is to stop what you are doing and face the real thing you are doing - getting divorced. And the astrology?

Saturn is transiting your natal Pluto. Time to learn just exactly what is driving you.

Good luck.

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Dear Pisces.

It sounds to me as if you are serious and it also sounds as if you have a chance to win your wife back - but you are going to have to revolutionize your way of being. And if you are not willing to do this, I am sure a separation is in both your best interests. But so long as you’re willing to really change, here is a map. These are the steps you can take and and with a Capricorn Moon and rising I am sure you know how to follow a plan.

First withdraw the petition for divorce if you can. If she wants a divorce, let her file it. You don’t want a divorce, so what are you doing getting one?

Next, whatever the issues of abuse are, solve them. Don’t care what she did to you. That’s her problem to solve. But you’ve got to stop hitting her, yelling at her, or whatever else you are doing - and you have got to stop it completely. If you find this a challenge, get a therapist and figure out why but you must do this 100%. This is non-negotiable.

You must also use your dick! For Godsakes you cannot let your wife languish and go without sex for 4 years! Are you crazy? Are you drunk? Whatever you are, fix it! Women need sex from men to thrive! PERIOD. You are in your early forties for Chrissakes. There is no excuse!

So there you go. If you hit your wife and deprive her of sex, as far as I am concerned she ought to go find another man! And so she did. But in this case, even though she may love him, she apparently doesn’t want him or she would be gone! So it does seem she may be trying to make a point and you may have a chance… and if so I hope you use it.

But from one Capricorn to another, I can tell you right now: if you keep doing “the wrong thing”, you’re going to do nothing but continue to roll down the hill.

Good luck.
~~
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Dear Wits,

Yes and no. You’re going to get out of this but you have two years to go. Pluto is transiting your T-Square which involves your Sun, Moon, Ascendant and Mars - and I can’t think of anything more hard core than that! So what you need is a new strategy and I can offer one.

You’re in a power struggle with your ex and it’s one you’re not going to win. At least not now and definitely not the way you’re going about this. And please don’t take that as criticism because it’s not meant that way. You sound very sane to me. You sound reasonable. But the way your chart is set up and considering the Pluto transit, I just don’t think you’re going to get anywhere fighting him - as your experience has proven. Instead you will have to do something much harder. I’ll tell you what will work and you’re going to hate this. But you may as well give it a try. Because you’re at your wits end, remember?

You’re going to have to go super yin. You are going to have to let this fire consume you. Change your stance to “Bring it on!” And I don’t mean, bring it on, because you’re going to fight it. I mean, bring it on because you can take it. You can take everything he can deliver and then some. He can pound you into the ground in any of the stupid little ways he knows and you will still be here! He will not kill you. You will not be destroyed.

But I’m not kidding. You must stop being aggressive in any way. Pull your horns in… all the way in. Lay low. Be still. Work with your emotion. Handle it. Let it burn inside and survive it.

And don’t misunderstand. This is not some kind of flippy trick. You are headed into what will no doubt be the most painful transition of your life. But this is unavoidable. And you are not going to be able to rise from any ashes until and unless you are ashes. And you’re not ashes if you’re still fighting, are you?

Let go. Let him try to burn you down. Let him try to destroy you and I promise you’ll find out he’s powerless and you’re not. He cannot kill the mother but no one will find this out until you let him try. I am very sorry. Super yin. Remember that.

Take care and good luck.

~~
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pictured - Pluto, Agostino Carracci, 1557

Dear Abandoned,

I feel very sorry for you and wish I could make this all go away. However, the astrology is very clear. Your husband wants out. He is having a Uranus transit (so are you) and damn the torpedoes, he’s going to do what he’s going to do. However, I do think some of your fears are unfounded and I think I can see a way to ease your pain by offering you a detached perspective.

First regarding your security fears for you and your children: although it is perfectly understandable to have them, he is telling you that this is not what he is trying to do. And I don’t think your husband is a liar. So I think you should listen very carefully to what he is telling you, because there’s gobs of information there in the midst of this chaos.

See, you’re scared to death and it’s no wonder. You’ve been hit by a train. But listen to what he’s telling you. He is telling you he is having an extreme urge for freedom. And astrology supports this, believe me. He is having a ‘throw the baby out with the bathwater” sort of time, so just imagine being him. Imagine all the sudden being hit with an incredible sense of being restricted and finding it impossible to endure. Because this is where he is at. “I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY MORE!” And he doesn’t even know what “IT” is. And further, I would bet that on some level he is as surprised as you are.

But he is also telling you he cares about his children. And you! He is also telling you he is willing (wants) to talk to your about your relationship in six months… and I believe him. I also think this is very telling.

See, I play cards. And sometimes… well, most times people give a “tell”. They tip their hand with a look or some kind of gesture and your husband has done this with you. I think he wants to go. He needs to go. But personally, I think odds are he will be back. But not if you don’t let him go! So this is my advice:

Open the door. Open it as wide as you can. Give him total freedom. You can do this. You love him, it’s obvious. And when you love someone, there is really nothing to do but give them whatever they want anyway.

And you have a Pisces Moon. So it’s not like you don’t understand this kind of thing. Faith, that is. You have a deep knowing that things work out best, which probably explains why you can’t get over him.

You can’t get over him because he’s not going anywhere. Where’s the other woman, huh? Where is the woman he prefers to you? There is no other woman! Your husband is basically going insane but it’s not permanent. And he is giving you clues all over the place if you will only pick up on them. So try this:

Transcend your fear and act in a way that is totally loving. Give him whatever he asks for. Give him all the space he needs.

Then ask the universe to give you the best outcome for all involved and I bet you get exactly that.

Much love and good luck.

~~
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Dear Wife,

I may as well state it plainly. I believe in divorce! For your sake, for his sake and for the sake of your child. And apparently you’re not even married, but you get my point. I think you have responsibility to your partner and even more so to your child but in the big picture, I believe your primary responsibility is to yourself.

Further, I believe that when you take care of yourself, you not only take care of your child, but also act in the best interest of everyone on this planet. Yes!

Close to home, your son is watching you and your partner, and learning how things are in the world from you. So right now he’s learning things are pretty shitty. People aren’t happy and people don’t love each other. And if this is all he is exposed to, what do you think his odds are of creating a different type of life for himself? They’re not good.

In the larger picture, what are you doing for the collective? Well you can’t be doing much, feeling as lousy as you do. And is that right? What would you be producing in this world if your circumstances were different?

So you see what I think. Not only do I think you have a right to leave. You have responsibility not to “waste your life”, as you say. And you’re 23 years old. Do you realize you may live another 50 years? And your son another 70 or 80? That’s a lot of years! To suffer or thrive, that is.

So with that in mind, I’d suggest you transcend the tendency to sacrifice yourself that comes so naturally to Pisces, and commit to carving out and creating a life that will satisfy.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Overwhelmed,

Some of these things are within your power to control, and others will work out in their own time frame. When you are feeling overwhelmed and inundated, it always helps to slow down and simplify. You’re in a crisis, see? So it’d be in your best interest to clear your decks of everything extraneous in your life so you can better focus.

Now it seems obvious the first thing to nix is the lover because all he is doing is taking up your time while boring you. In other words, he’s a sink! And I’m sure you hoped for some kind of relief and respite when you hooked up with him, but as you can see this is not helping your situation.

So I would say, get rid of the guy, and don’t run out and try to replace him either. Instead focus on getting your financial and emotional life together, while your divorce completes.

Once you manage this, you can address the cause of why you are changing jobs like hats and once you’ve got that figured out… once you can reliably pay your bills, then it will be time to go out there and find yourself an un-boring man.

One more thing. Forget the 7 ‚

Dear Stuck,

People move and move on at different speeds. They move when they damned well please and I don’t think you’re going to be moving anytime soon.

I base this on the fact you stayed married to a man who terrorized you (and your children) for 36 years. I base this on the fact that you state outright that you have no intention of backing off until and unless. And considering this, to be completely candid, I would not be surprised if you stayed attached for the rest of your life.

Don’t like that? Well then you will have to start thinking along the lines of cutting your losses. But right now, you’re not willing. You do not want to think about how much this is costing you in pain. You’re used to pain I suppose. You’ve had forty years of it!

So if you want to think about easing up somehow, or letting something go, or seeking happiness as opposed to victory, then this could wrap up very quickly. But right now, you are determined to fight to the death, and I expect this is exactly what you’ll do.

Good luck.

~~
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