2
Attractive Virgo Woman’s Pattern Of Dating Brings Misery: Astrology-Based Advice
Hello,
I was married to a man who was triple Libra. He left me for another woman. He had already been with her but telling me I was his world. A year later I felt healed enough to start to date again.
Unfortunately my dating relationships over this new year don’t last more than a month or two. I can easily attract a man. I am thin and fit, fun to be around, pretty, kind, sweet, generous, intelligent and ambitious. I have a great family and close friends who are dumbfounded at the problems I am having.
I am far from perfect but the men I have dated (more so fallen for) fall at my feet and repeatedly tell me they wish to give me the world… Sadly, this isn’t the case. I seem to get involved with men who are balancing two women- another and myself. I usually find this out after and the other women win out. Two of the men have returned since, almost sheepishly, to tell me they messed up. One went as far to tell me that I would make the
perfect life partner for him (Taurus).
I am at a point where I am frustrated as the Scorpio just disappeared with another woman. I am expecting his call and apology some time in the near future. Will this pattern of hurt keep going? Is there something in my chart that draws these men to me or me to them?
I feel like they want a revolving door but my rule is once they are out they don’t get a second chance. I am not looking for a shoulder to cry on but some realistic advice on my chart- things I can possibly change.
Virgo Sun, Pisces Moon
Canada
Dear Virgo,It sounds as if you are confused and authentically trying to do your best and while this may come across as harsh it is not meant that way because I really do feel your struggle, I empathize and want to help you. Things is that your marriage aside, your dating problems seem largely self-inflicted and Saturn’s transit through Virgo in aspect to most of your chart begs you take responsibility.
For example, you state you can attract men like flies and I believe you so if this is true why stop with a man who has another woman? Why not toss him and attract someone else who does not have another woman?
It is you making this choice, see. And all the friends and supportive family in the world is not going to be able to help you in the least if you do not decide to make better choices and yes, the pattern of hurt will continue, quite obviously.
As to why your make the choices you do, outlining this from an astrological perspective is outside the scope of this column but it seems clear to me you are attracted to the victim position and perhaps the feel of the edge of a knife in relationship as well.
I realize this may fall outside your current definition of self but you have to admit the facts fit and it again comes back to your Saturn transit which will force you to see yourself in the real light and if you don’t like the image you can change the frame and get a whole new lease on life in the process.”
Good luck.
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4
Capricorn Woman In Love With Younger Man With Girlfriend: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
I am in love with a guy who is 16 years younger than me, I have not told him this, although since we are really good friends I have told him I love him in the way friends can. He is with another girl, and I would never do anything to break it up, but I long for him with everything in me.
Since I do genuinely love him I won’t do anything that might interfere with his life, but I cannot figure out how to stop this longing, and the pain I feel when he is with his girlfriend.
Can you advise me how to get over him or what to do? I am not immature, although in fact this is the first time in my life I have been in love. I was married for 23 years, had seven children, and loved my husband, but was never in love with him.
I do not want to accidentally make a fool of myself in front of him, or embarrass him by saying something inappropriate, but unless I get over these feelings I fear slipping up.
Five Planets in Capricorn
Ireland
Dear Capricorn,
It is common to see age difference in couples who have strong Cancer or Capricorn in their chart. Same thing when there are a lot of planets in the fourth and/or tenth houses as these signs and house represent the parental axis and people with a focus there have parent/child themes in their relationships across the board. So I would talk this relationship serious if only it were an actual relationship - but it’s not.
This man is partnered with somebody else… period. There is no indication he had any romantic interest in you whatsoever so I have to conclude you are having a pure fantasy here which is also shown in your chart as you are a Virgo rising which means delusion… er, Pisces rules the seventh - the partner.
Now I am sorry if this is harsh but there are other things that pop out in your note. For example you say he is with another girl but you are not a girl. You are almost 50 years old and this is not a “girl” in my book.
I am glad you wrote, glad you are concerned about embarrassing yourself and I would urge you to let go of the notion you “love” this man unless of course you would like to pine. But yeah. Think hard before you say anything to him because if you do he is liable to be embarrassed, somewhat creeped out and he will almost definitely run for the hills.
I say recognize this as a fantasy and start looking for a new situation.
Good luck.
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2
Her Gemini Boyfriend Is Great Except For He Has Another Girlfriend: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
My “boyfriend” of one and a half years has again broken my heart. When we met at a wedding it was instant. We feel very connected and everything is just great, EXCEPT the fact that he cannot seem to break it off with the woman he was with before me. They are working on a manuscript together and he told me that as soon as it is done, he would end it - as he didn’t want to hurt her (just cheat on her) and delay completing of their project. However, he has several times told me that he decided that I am the one, he loves me, adores me, and wants to live his life with me.
As he always does, as soon as I believe him, he says “I am confused. I love you, but I don’t know what I want. I am afraid of change. I don’t love her, I love you, but…” I feel that history has repeated itself about six times here. This last time he finally told her that he didn’t love her. She freaked out and bought a plane ticket as she lives in another country. He tried to talk her out of coming, but she still is. He told me last night and today called me from the airport before he picked her up. He told me that he loves me. I do believe he loves me, but he is such a chicken and a liar.
Why can’t I let go? We never fight, unless it is about our situation. We have great chemistry after all this time. I feel that he is just throwing something away that is special. I think I need a therapist. Who in their right mind would continue to put up with this? Logically I know this, but I can’t make my heart follow my brain. He is a Gemini and has many times stated that he feels torn in two.
Stellium In Taurus
United States
Dear Taurus,
You put up with it because by your nature you are very fixed. Besides having four planets in Taurus, you’ve got two in Scorpio, including the Moon and on top of that, you’re an Aquarius rising. Those are all fixed signs - so basically you’re not going anywhere until and unless you decide to move, which will probably take an act of God.
I am not criticizing you for this, just explaining. Your Gemini man has his two lives he lies about, so he’s just fine. His other woman probably has a chart that craves space or some kind of thing other than the day to day drudgery of a mundane relationship, so she is probably fine as well.
You’re not all that bad off yourself, apparently. You’re the one getting the sex which I am sure you like and you have a freedom loving streak as well which also gives this relationship appeal. Because if you do decide to leave you’ve got a built in reason, don’t you?
Bottom line: the man may love you but he is not giving up the other woman, this is clear. So stay if you want and I would only have this one suggestion: If you do stay, then just stay and don’t beat yourself up about it as in why of why or who would do this. It is okay to stay just because it’s what you do.
“I am not going anywhere because I stay.”
It is also okay to leave and go find a new field of grass to chew.
“I am tired of this grass, gonna move now.”
Either one is acceptable.
Good luck.
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31
Capricorn Man Eyes Scorpio Woman Sending Mixed Messages: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
I guess being a Capricorn male, it has taken me a while to get over my break up (over 4 years). But now I have set my eyes on a Scorpio women (yes, like a moth to the flame). And being a cautious Capricorn, I don’t want to move too fast and show my hand.
I have known this women for over 8 years (she is recently divorced too). I have always fancied her, but we have both been unavailable. I have suggested that we go out, she always seem to shrug me off. But when I see her (I only see her when she is at work), we always have a good connection. As soon as I feel like I should forget about her, she will drop a hint. She recently gave me her phone number, but when I call her she is always busy. But she seem to always dangle the carrot in front of me.
Is this a typical Scorpio playing hard to get? Is this the game you need to play to get a Scorpio women?
Capricorn Man
Untied States
Dear Capricorn,
It may interest you to know that you have your Moon and Venus, Mars and Jupiter in Scorpio. This combined with the fact your Sun is in the Scorpio-ruled eighth house would indicate that rather than being “Capricorn”, you are predominantly Scorpio yourself. So if you want to know games Scorpio plays, well, you’re very qualified to answer the question yourself.
As to your situation, you and I have similar energy and I don’t favor games in relationship at all. So I would be trying to close this deal and I would do it in a “balls to the wall” type fashion.
On the extreme ends, you have two choices. You either withdraw completely and see if she comes to you (very likely) or you hunt her with your pure intensity, which may also bring a good result.
What you don’t do is project all the desirability onto her, which is where you are failing. See, all your Scorpio is in the seventh house and you think she’s the sexy one - but in reality it’s you. You’ve got the cards, you’re just playing them wring and it may take you awhile to figure this out but I am telling you, I am right.
Good luck.
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27
Open Question: Astrology, Dating, Psychology - Is Dating The Same Sign Over and Over Healthy Or A Form Of Repetition Compulsion?
Ask The Collective
Dear Elsa,
HELP! I am divorced from a Scorpio and now I’m in love with another Scorpio (Sun and Ascendant) who is getting ready to propose! What is wrong with me that I cannot get away from men of this sign?
Can a person have a successful relationship with someone in the same sign of a past failed relationship? Won’t I ALWAYS look for/see signs of my ex in my current love?
Libra in Love
United States
21
Virgo Man Wants To Break Up With Pisces Woman: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
I am in a mess with my boyfriend. He is a Virgo. Presently he doesn’t want to carry on with the love that we have for each other. He gave up on our relation a few months ago. He is concentrating on his career (as he says).
Could you help me? Why is this happening when we love each other? As far as I can see there is nothing that is wrong between us. It’s just the fear of losing each other. I think he fears losing me ‘later’ if he doesn’t concentrate on his career at the right time (i.e Now). And I fear losing him if we continue to grow the gap that has cropped up between us.
Note: There is communication gap between us. We hardly communicate but we try sometimes. Can astrology help me getting out of this mess?
Venus in Pisces
India
Dear Pisces,
I am sorry but I am afraid your boyfriend has lost interest in your relationship and that you are having trouble understanding and/or accepting this. I am not sure if astrology can get you out of this mess or not but I will try.
You are a Pisces with Venus in Pisces and therefore prone to denial and tricking yourself and I am afraid this is what you have done in this situation. It seems your boyfriend very definitely wants out of the relationship for whatever reason and you are pretending this is not so.
This will work for awhile but the price you pay later may be high so I would like to offer you an alternative way to use the same Piscean energy that should bring a more favorable result. That is - Faith.
How about you let this man go as he seems to want to, and then you simply rely on the universe to make it all come out right in the end. This may mean this man comes back but it may also mean a better man comes around instead. Would you be willing to do that? Would you be willing to trust the fates to be kind and act in the best interest of all involved? Because if you train yourself to do this I think you will get a good result, not just this time but every time.
Good luck.
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17
Jealous And Suspicious Girlfriend: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
I have only been in love once. I fell in love at the moment that they first spoke to me. I literally forgot what my name was and was unable to find it on the paper I was to sign.
As time went on, I could do nothing right in her eyes. She has a Pisces Moon and everything I did or said she took the wrong way. I literally smiled at her once and she was even suspicious of that. If I was talking to someone then I must be speaking badly of her. If I was laughing, then I was surely laughing at her. Is there something in my chart that points to me causing someone with a Pisces Moon to be either afraid or angered by me?
I would like to heal this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Virgo Moon
United States
Dear Moon,
I don’t think the problem is in your chart, it is in hers. You are dealing with someone who is significantly paranoid which is not the fault of the Moon in Pisces. I don’t know what this woman’s problem is but the fact you are feeling the problem is caused by you reflects your own problem and the proclivity to this is very apparent in your chart.
With your Sun in the twelfth house, part of a stellium there it’s a challenge to know where you start and others begin. Virgo Moon is often very self-critical and the fact yours is opposed by Saturn does not help. I would guess this girl has her Pisces Moon on top Saturn in your chart and this leaves you feeling you must be making some kind of error but I am pretty sure (we’ll see by the comments) that it is clear (to others) that this girl has a problem that is completely independent of you.
I am sorry this is probably not much help as it does sound as if you love this girl very much but if she is not willing to discover what is driving her intensely jealous and paranoid feelings then I am afraid you are simply going to be up a creek.
Good luck.
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7
Open Question - What’s Up With The Guy In Her Yoga Class?
Ask the collective
Dear Elsa,
I have been getting back into the dating pool after focusing on my career for a long time. The last time I had a love interest was almost 2 years ago. I had been flirting with a man in my yoga class who has intrigued me for a while. He is very quiet and appears to be a determined and patient practitioner of yoga. I am alarmed about what has happened in my attempt to get to know him better.
We made plans to have lunch after class last week. He simply didn’t show up to class that day, which meant he wasn’t showing up, in effect, for our lunch date. He doesn’t have my phone number or email, and I don’t have his, so there was no way for me to find out what happened. He didn’t come to class all week. Then today, 8 days later, he showed up to class. Though he said “hello” to me and seemed quite pleased to see me, he did not mention the missed lunch, or his absence. Was it my responsibility to say something?
Continue reading Open Question - What’s Up With The Guy In Her Yoga Class?
29
Double Virgo Woman Wonders About Motives Of Loving Double Pisces Man: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
I am in a relationship with a double Pisces man. I am a double Virgo. We are very attracted to each other sexually, and he tells me he loves me but for some reason I keep asking myself what his motivation is. He is very sweet and we understand each other well. Is it normal to feel un-trusting towards him?
Double Virgo
Morocco
Dear Virgo,
I don’t like to decide what is normal. If you tend to be a person who does not easily trust then to be un-trusting is normal for you.
Now you’ve got a difficult chart and I think this is reflected in your relationship. Because you are having great sex with a man who is sweet and understanding yet you are suffering and this is the thing to investigate and try to alter. Judging from what you’ve written he’s done nothing to betray your trust or arouse your suspicion so where is this coming from?
You don’t have the chart of someone who is particularly paranoid but you do have the chart of someone with a high sex drive, probably interested in psychology, prone to worrying and get this: fantasizing.
And I don’t KNOW but if I was going to guess… considering his planets are opposite yours I would imagine it possible you have his motivation confused with your own. You are a born investigator see. So are you in the relationship for love… or something else?
And I am not judging this so don’t take it that way. What I am suggesting is that you are a very complex young woman so just keep asking questions like this one and you’re going to be fine.
Good luck.
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15
Scorpio Man In Love With Man Who Kissed Him, Later Confessed He Had A Boyfriend: Astrology-Based Advice
Dear Elsa,
I have been single for a couple of months and was pretty happy being single. But I started thinking that I wanted to get back into the dating game or attempt to maybe find someone special. I am not really into the gay scene with going to gay bars and such, so I decided to use the internet.
I signed up with this site and within 5 minutes a really good looking, down to earth guy started messaging me and boom we started talking. I lost track of time but it was for a long time on the site then msn then eventually the phone. He was really sweet and it seemed we really connected and there was potential chemistry. He was like I’ve never met a guy like you, you’re really cute and awesome. The day after we decided to meet for coffee.
During the meet we still managed to have that same intense chemistry that we did over the net. I was pretty excited. Then he wanted to show me his car and we kinda went joyriding up and down a street in his brand new car. He then brought me back to my car but before I got out, he grabbed me and started kissing me. I have never felt an intense kiss in my life. It was so passionate, intense and chilling, one of those kisses that makes your spine tingle. So after about 20 minutes of making out, I left and then he called me at home. But he was a little strange and he told me that he had to tell me something and he had to be honest.
He told me that he was dating someone for the last 10 months and was in a serious relationship. My whole world collapsed, I know it’s strange that he loves someone so much but yeah kissed me but I confronted him about and asked if he really loves his boyfriend and he said he does, but doesn’t know if he’s the one. I was very upset but he was practically begging me to continue talking to him and that we could stay friends. Even though my heart wrenched I agreed.
So for about a month now we just been texting back and forth saying hi and meet for coffee here and there. Thing is I am starting to fall for him and I know it won’t work because he has a boyfriend and I would think if we start dating, whose to say he won’t do to someone else what he did to me. So I have been kinda off avoiding him. I didn’t hear from him for about a week and then he texted me saying if I was alright and if I was mad. I know I should have told him the truth but I lied and said I was just busy with school and work and just going through ’stuff’ he said that If I needed someone to talk to he would be there for me. Another three days passed and he messaged me again saying he wanted to know why I wouldn’t talk to him and give him a reason. I again lied and told him I am not mad just busy. I don’t like lying but I don’t know what to do. He is one of the coolest guys that I have come across and I don’t want him to go regardless but I know hes committed to someone else. But its eating me up inside I really want to tell him but I am scared that hes just gonna say sorry I am taken and we can’t talk or hang out anymore. I think…I am in lov with him.
What do I do Elsa help!!!
In Love And Confused
Canada
Dear Confused,
He’s cool but you are not, so I am going to try to help with that and I hope you don’t get too pissed off at me in the process. First, what this guy has is a hook in your mouth. Feel it, know it, understand it is there. So while you are a fish on his hook, he has no such problem. He’s got this guy over here… you over there and more than likely he’s got some other hooks out as well so how does this make you feel? A little less giddy, I hope.
You (with a stellium in Scorpio) have given your power up to some guy for a kiss and if you don’t mind being caught while he swims free, then do nothing but if you want your freedom back or if you want to wind up with this guy, you are going to have to take your power back and it’s not that hard to do.
Just turn off the faucet. Quit responding to text messages. For Godsakes quit lying because it is clear from your post (and your planets in Sagittarius) that it makes you uncomfortable and besides that it’s getting you nowhere.
Once you have cut off the energy you are giving him, one of two things will happen. He will go away or come closer and my bet is he will come closer.
If he comes closer, this is when you tell him they way it’s got to be if he wants to have an interaction with you because it appears you have some standards and then you go from there. If he does not come closer, I wouldn’t worry about it because like you said, if he does this to one boyfriend then he will probably (not positively) do it you.
But if you do get together and he does not do it to you it will be because you have found your strength and power and prowess and decided to use these things rather than leave them lying about.
My advice - Get that hook out, do it now.
Good luck.
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