Dear Taurean,

I have to tell you to beware!! You realize this man may be married or otherwise committed. In fact, he probably is.
Continue reading Astrology-Based Advice: Double Taurus Woman is Smitten With Wonderful, Mysterious Virgo Man

Dear Stuck,

Yes, I see him out of your life… as soon as you put him there! You’re 30-something years old and you get to choose the company you keep, particularly in your primary relationship!

Here’s the astrology: You have Saturn (responsibility) tied up with Venus (love) in your chart. I’m guessing you feel responsible for him. I’m also guessing he reinforces this erroneous idea and in effect, restricts you but it’s not real. In reality, you’re restricting yourself but hopefully not for long because your real responsibility to yourself. So here’s your answer:

Yes, he’ll be out of your life but not because he decides to stop clinging. He’s going to cling and you know it. You have to leave (a Sagittarius forte) but this time once outside, close the door firmly and run like the free horse that you are.

Freedom is that easy. Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

Dear Betrayed,

With your Moon in Sagittarius conjunct Jupiter, you value truth and look for meaning in your experiences. Your Sun in Taurus indicates your self esteem would be intact even after suffering something of this magnitude, so you are acting in complete accord with your chart… which is always a good sign.

As to the “why” he did this, there are probably an endless number of reasons or explanations but I will give you mine and it’s very simple: people are individuals.

People set their own standards for their behavior and if they put their mind to it they can justify anything. A person like you can get lost trying to understand or comprehend how a person might act in such a low-minded way. But when you do this, you are actually being very narrow-minded yourself and if you open your mind (a Sagittarius forte), I think you can resolve this pretty readily.

For example, there are sociopaths in society. Sociopaths have no feelings, they have no remorse and you will be waiting a long time (until hell freezes over) waiting for a change of heart when there is no heart. It is really is this simple, especially for someone like you… a natural storyteller. Just tell yourself a new (true) story:

“I feel in with a sociopath and got my ass handed to me. Egads, what an experience. Pity the other woman - Thank God I got out of that alive - Whew!”

Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

Dear Grand Cross,

You should probably hit the road running if you’ve discovered you want to nest and have children, because he’s told you he doesn’t. But what bothers me more is this guy’s attitude - “something is missing”. It suggests something is missing with you, and though I appreciate he’s always has this problem and apparently has copped to same…well he must like it that way. He must like running through women, because otherwise he’d be trying to figure it out and fix this.

What it sounds like what he’s figured out, is that he likes to be non-committed and this is his story. “Something is missing,” he tells the women. Well hell. I’d say this guarantees the woman will walk at some point which I think is exactly what he wants and ultimately, exactly what he’s going to get.

Sorry and good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

One time, I went on a date with a double Cancer man. Cancer = home, family, roots, food.

He took me to dinner at a restaurant that was somebody’s converted home. All during dinner he told me about the family that had lived there. He told me their names, and detailed histories with dates of various happenings. He outlined the whole family tree.

He told me about the flood, the wipeout, the son taking over, and so forth. He told me where the kitchen was located in the original house before the son of the son converted it to a family business, I mean. “The one whose highchair once sat in this very room…”
Continue reading Astrology And Dating: My Dinner Date With A Cancer Man

Hi Elsa,

My boyfriend has a Scorpio friend that he has known for about five years. She doesn’t like me. It is very difficult to deal with this because as far as I can tell nothing I have done has caused her to dislike me — I am her pal’s girlfriend and she
doesn’t like it, period. Everything I say or do is taken the same way (politely, but dismissively). She is older than both of us — much older than I am — and I am not worried about romantic attraction on his part at all — nothing to do with her age, just getting that out of the way.

I don’t really have much interest in cultivating a friendship with someone who so obviously doesn’t want one with me, but my main problem is the boyfriend. I know he is an Aquarius and all, but his attitude is to stay out of it. He expects me to act like an adult and I am trying to transcend this but it is very hard since we hang out with her a lot (they work together). It is becoming an issue because he says I just shouldn’t hang out with them when he’s hanging out with her but this strikes me as kind of unfair. I really don’t want this to devolve into a tug-of-war.

All of his other friends are fine with me. Usually I get along really well with Scorpios so I don’t know what the deal is
here. What can I do?

Motivated
Thailand

Continue reading Open Question: Leo Woman’s Aquarius Man Has Scorpio Woman Friend Who Gives Her A Hard Time: Astrology-Based Advice

Dear Cancer,

Yes, I have some advice. Your man as you describe him is acting in complete accordance with his chart.  He is also beyond 40 years old and he has only been in two relationships and these two things strongly suggest that WYSIWYG (What you see is what you get).

Applying your standard, I would say he is probably functioning at his highest because as a Pisces with a stellium in Sagittarius and aspects to Jupiter, this is a man who was born to roam.

On your end while I believe you love him, you seem to see him as some sort of project - “Family project” even, since your mother is involved - and I would say this is a manifestation of your Sun in Cancer and Saturn rising in aspect to your Moon.

Basically you are mothering him and I don’t point this out to judge you, but so you can see the dynamic here… because it is not likely to change any.  In short, he is going to leave and leave and leave and leave… and you are going to try to (subtly) control him.

Is there a better more effective way to control him?

No.

Good luck

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

Dear Capricorn,

This is a really tough question because there are just so many ways to approach it. I’ll start with the obvious:  After 3 months of back and forth and no date I am pretty sure that WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) with this guy so if that answers your questions you can stop right here.  But you also asked, “What do I do?” and I have some suggestions.

First, you do not seem very comfortable just being and this is worth taking a look at.  You are second guessing yourself, apparently afraid to make a mistake. While I can appreciate what drives this kind of behavior, people do sense this kind of thing and often times it leads them to treating you exactly as this Libra man has been treating you. If you want a frame around it, my friend (and Pisces) satori calls it, “How little will you take?”  She means the one person gives the other person the bare minimum it requires to keep them in the relationship which is what this guy has done with you. So here is a better tack…

Take some advice from another Pisces - my sister - who informed me some years ago that when you have the right man, you can do anything you want. “Including starting your period on your white dress,” she added and this became the tag line.

Now if you wonder if this is in fact the case, I urge you to ask any man on this planet and they will tell you my sister is correct.  So armed with this information, it seems to me you have the option of doing a lot less worrying about making mistakes with this guy or any other and I hope like hell you take it.

Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

Dear Leo,

Clearly I can’t make this decision for you and I also can’t tell what is in your boyfriend’s heart but I can tell you I have never been a fan of the “s*** or get off the pot” theory.  S*** or get off the pot, huh? Does that sound loving to you?

Personally I would not want to be married to someone who shit (married me) under a threat I had issued - so if I were you I would discard that train of thought completely and adopt another that is more productive and I have some ideas.

It is clear from your chart and your note that you are impulsive (you have a Grand Trine in Fire) and your boyfriend seems to be cautious, maybe even plodding. It does not sound to me as if he doesn’t love you; it sounds as if he operates differently than you. So the important question to ask yourself is, can you stand this because he is not likely to change all that much.

Now it sounds as if you do appreciate what he offers you (stability and grounding?) to some extent so if you could focus on that and grow your appreciation, you may just have a husband here and a real marriage… eventually.

On the other hand, if this guy’s lack of fire and drive is going to drive you up a wall, then yeah. You’d be better off to find someone who can run like the wind.

Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation

Dear Virgo,It sounds as if you are confused and authentically trying to do your best and while this may come across as harsh it is not meant that way because I really do feel your struggle, I empathize and want to help you. Things is that your marriage aside, your dating problems seem largely self-inflicted and Saturn’s transit through Virgo in aspect to most of your chart begs you take responsibility.

For example, you state you can attract men like flies and I believe you so if this is true why stop with a man who has another woman? Why not toss him and attract someone else who does not have another woman?

It is you making this choice, see. And all the friends and supportive family in the world is not going to be able to help you in the least if you do not decide to make better choices and yes, the pattern of hurt will continue, quite obviously.

As to why your make the choices you do, outlining this from an astrological perspective is outside the scope of this column but it seems clear to me you are attracted to the victim position and perhaps the feel of the edge of a knife in relationship as well.

I realize this may fall outside your current definition of self but you have to admit the facts fit and it again comes back to your Saturn transit which will force you to see yourself in the real light and if you don’t like the image you can change the frame and get a whole new lease on life in the process.”

Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!
Subscribe to the Elsa Blog
Info on scheduling a personal consultation