On the drive to New Mexico, I was thinking about Kate (Kate Mulvey Can’t Get A Date And It’s Because Of You!) and trying to fathom her and people like her. People who project their shadow onto others, that is. How do they get that way? Better yet, how do they stay that way?

Continue reading 3 Years Ago On The Elsa Blog: Astrology and Psychology: Projecting Your Shadow And Various Other Sundries…

I had a friend tell me recently that the worst thing someone could do to her was to make her care. I thought this was pretty profound. And it made sense to me. To care is to be vulnerable and caring is frequently exquisitely painful.

And though I understood this, and I was very impressed she could state this so plainly, I can’t say I feel the same way. Her view is accessible, but this is her “worst thing” not mine. And this made me realize the “worst thing a person can do” is not universal, but highly personal.

What is the worst thing a person can do to you? Can you connect the astrology?

I wrote this a number of weeks ago. I’d started to discuss this but there was so much heat on the blog at the time, I didn’t want to deal with the fallout so it’s been sitting in draft since. But is a very interesting concept so I am resurrecting it…

Some weeks ago, the soldier said he felt that lack of consistency (of theory) is what made a person miserable.  He’s a Taurus, they are known for their stability but that aside I thought his statement very interesting.

Continue reading Lack Of Consistency Of Theory = Misery?

From 2007 - Synastry In Real Life: What if two people love each other but have love natures that are not compatible? Is this resolvable?

What do you do when you are betrayed in a relationship? Do you leave right away or debate it? Do you stay in the relationship, look the other way and ignore it for awhile? Do you confront? Do you set the person up for an equivalent betrayal?

Personally… with Venus square Neptune and a packed 8th house, I erase myself and the person who betrayed me completely. I amputate.
Continue reading Ask The Collective: 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover - What’s Yours?

Dear Elsa,

I am wondering about relationships where there a lot of Pluto aspects at work, deep intense crazy connections, that seem to be rearranging your inner organs, can they last?

What I mean is, if Pluto is transforming and obsessive, and related to death and rebirth, is it the kind of thing a relationship can have a lot of and survive? Is there sort of a built in time frame, a transformational process that naturally ends, or does it just keep working on you endlessly?

Curious
United States

Continue reading Open Question: Can Scorpio / Plutonian Intense Relationships Last Or Do They Die By Their Nature?

If you’ve read this blog awhile, you know I think in terms of the 80/20 rule, aka the Pareto Principle which states that thing naturally fall in groups with an 80/20 split.  As an example I have written, if you are happy with your partner 80% of the time, this is a very good sign. For one thing, if you’re not happy 80% of the time, you are probably unhappy 80% of the time, but also this is a percentage that is sustainable over time which predicts the relationship will last.

Continue reading Vicious Women And The 80/20 Rule

Boy the soldier and I got into a rousing debate over this one. Say a person misrepresents their character in order to form a relationship with someone who might reject them otherwise. How long do you think they can go without their character flaw coming out?

Can you elaborate? Where is your Venus?

mimi mottet asks on Self Esteem - Got Any?

“Do you have anything to say about Women Who Are Jealous of Other Women for no particular reason? There are lots of websites dedicated to the Horrible Things Women Do To Other Women. It’s an old story but I’d like to hear your philosophical (or astrological) take.”

Continue reading The Astrology Of Vicious Women

I draw conclusions very quickly, my husband draws conclusions very slowly but once he does, he’s fixed. He drives me a crazy at times (he has Saturn on his mercury, I have Mars on mine) but I acknowledge his method has merits.

I might adopt his method if mine failed all the time and I suffered consequences but I rarely do. It’s like gambling and losing 1 in 20. It’s not worth all the extra effort and delay not to lose the 1 bet, especially when I have enough control I don’t bet BIG on the fly. My big bets, I have myself covered and this system works for me.

He says he is not slow, he simply waits until all the information.

Are you a slow or fast processor? Where is your Mercury?