This series starts here: Demystifying The Saturn Return.

1 minute astrology

Astrology-Based Advice

Hi Elsa,

I am wondering if my Pisces sister is ever going to make an effort to have a decent relationship with me. She has unrealistic expectations, and is always consumed with jealousy. We have brief periods where I can see a glimmer of hope that things will work out. But then she turns cold, petty, and vindictive again.

Should I toss in the towel or keep on trying?

Sign me,
Sister Giving Up

Dear Elsa,

I’m a lesbian. Yes. It was hard to swallow at first, but I began to accept that fact after trying to form many relationship with guys who were interested in me. Nothing came out of any of those ‘normal’ relationships accept the fact that I became more attracted to girls.

I’ve been in love with someone who claims she wants to get married to a man who is able to give her a child she’s craving. She persistent in convincing me this her only reason to ‘be’ with a man, to have a child of her own. I can feel her love for me after she bravely went through many obstacles for wanting to be with me & keeping our relationship a secret (as her family & society would not approve of this relationship of ours). Deep inside, I have doubts of her promises to me.

Do I succumb to her ‘need’ to be a mother and share our time together with her soon-to-be husband? She promised to divorce him as soon as the child is delivered and continue to share her life with me. I know she is just using him for that personal reason of hers.

She told me that if I became lonely while waiting for her…I could form another relationship with other girl, as long I don’t give my heart to another.

Double Libra
Malaysia

Dear Elsa,

I have been dating a man for four years now. He has been very supportive of me emotionally at a time when I especially needed someone to make me feel loved and accepted. He is very focused on me, watching me all the time and telling me he wants to take care of me. He sometimes complains that my mood is not what is called for; i.e., I am not romantic enough or focused enough on him. His ultimate ambition is a successful relationship with his woman.

I’ve had the experience of a long-term relationship with a man who was emotionally distant and I was miserable, so I know the value of finding a man who wants to be emotionally close. The problem is finances. He has a good job, but he never has really aspired to anything more than just a job. He also has a lot of debt from his first marriage. I’ve worked hard to gain a post-graduate degree and have taken some risks that have enabled me to make more money.

One of my priorities in a marriage is that we be able to attain an above average standard of living. I fear that I would be settling for something less than that if I were to marry this man. And yet, I know that money does not make happiness.

We are both in our forties and he is a Libra. What do you think?

Unsure

Dear Elsa,

I met a wonderful Virgo man several months ago while I was on vacation. He lives in another state and our meeting was a surprise - a sweet wonderful surprise. There was a fantastic jolt of electricity that passed through me at the time (it was there for him, too, as he called me not long after the initial meeting) and it was present the next time we saw each other.

We have since had the chance to spend time with together and become intimate. He’s a fantastic lover and a kind man. He’s also rather mysterious and I get the feeling he’s either quite shy and private, or hiding something. I’m fine either way (to an extent), but I want to know how best to deal with his occasional disappearances and reluctance to fully open up to me. Part of his reluctance to open includes his exact birthday, but he did reveal he’s a Virgo.

Deep down, the attraction I have for this man is overwhelming and I am very aware of this. Were it not for geography, I’m afraid I’d be rushing into something. But because of the distance, I feel this is the perfect time to hang back, get to know him, and get a chance to understand what makes the typical Virgo tick. Of course, I don’t believe there’s anything typical about my Virgo paramour, but I have to work in generalizations here given the mysterious nature of this man.

What can you tell this Taurean in Wait?

~~
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Dear Elsa,

Two months ago, I met a man at a local open mic night. We hit it off from the beginning, going for coffee the first night we met. He got my number and gave me his. We went out on our first date a few days later and became much more intimate more quickly than either of us planned. Apparently, we have both been without a relationship for an extended time (13 years for me - 8 for him).

We are still seeing each other at the open mic and we go out (or stay in) every Saturday - but he doesn’t seem to want to see me more often than that. When we are together we don’t just have sex, we talk for hours about everything - except for us. He is gentle and kind, an old fashioned gentleman. He’s open and honest and seems to really enjoy being with me, and I with him. He calls me when he says he will and seemed genuinely happy when I sent a thank you card after our first date and an encouragement card when he went for a job interview.

He warned me early on not to be building expectations, but then he talks about things we’ll do next summer. I don’t think he is seeing anyone else romantically, and I am not either. After a 22 year marriage to a man who was extremely controlling and verbally abusive, I don’t want someone who will want to own me, but I think I would like to see him more. I guess I’m afraid if I push for more, he’ll run. He’s been engaged six times in his life and married three times, so his track record with women isn’t great. But I’ve been married twice myself, so I know people can make bad choices.

So here we are two people who are very attracted to each other but both very hesitant to commit. So here’s my question. How can I make this man really happy? How can I make him feel more secure with me? I don’t necessarily want a commitment. I don’t need that. But I don’t want to be just the Saturday night lay either. I’ve been out of the dating scene so long I just don’t know what to expect. Any advice on romance for the over 50 commitment phobes?

On The Fence

1 minute astrology

From 2006 - Catch up here - She’s Destructive… Part 1