Oh, this relates…I just had the third round of my Neptune transit square Mars-Mercury, which are opposing Neptune in my birth chart. This transit really unveiled what had been hidden - first time I considered “animus projection” to be the reason why all my designated lovers (as in “true love”) vanished and/or refused to get involved sexually with me. Thing is, I didn´t even get mad, i just suffered and tried to transcend… and cling to the astral connection as long as possible. Ain´t that neptunian? Oh, how I victimized myself…Can´t believe it. And it wasn´t even me - I just thought I had to be that way! Now, since Neptune took off the veil, I´m just plain furious, and it feels great. Not specifically, it´s just as if all the fury I hadn´t realized or expressed had been stored somewhere inside waiting to blow up.

The transit took about a year and three rounds until I sort of figured it out and became aware of MY will and MY expression as in not depending on men or images of men. I love it. This year I was the one actively leaving, twice - and that´s what I prefer. And it´s got nothing to do with not loving somebody, it´s just excerting the right to leave a fruitless situation instead of clinging to the cross and flashing the halo. In fact, I´ve needed men for inspiration, and that I got, so now it´s time to admit I got what I wanted and stop whining.

I´m still in the process of figuring this transit out, so this is just a snapshot, and though I´d love to tell the whole story, I better leave it at that… (Learning how to leave, ha ha)

With Venus conjunct Saturn and Pluto..I’d prefer it short and direct, but Venus-Saturn has a tendency to perpetuate the agony.

Dear Busted. Don’t take the criticism personally please. There are many good Scorpios, like my father, brother, my husband and millions of others. Did Saturn really castrate his father? However it was we have to accept Saturn for he doesn’t share planet Earth with us.Hope you got my answer.

Hi. I’m a libra born on the 21st - have a bit of the scorpio in me, and it seems to come out during break ups just as you said! it takes me forever to finally decide to break up with someone (libra) but once it’s done, it’s done. yes, it seems to me best just to amputate, at least for a while, because that process of adjustment can drag out forever if you try to be friends immediately after ending the romance. you end up still sleeping together and in this strange disentanglement phase where nothing gets resolved (though you hope it will) but you are still holding on, clinging desperately to that feeling that, for whatever reason, can’t work out. I have a venus in libra, too, so love love love is the name of my game, or the game of love is more aptly my game, but i find it hard to tolerate bull shit. when it’s over, it’s over. ive done my share of wishing things were different, but it is best done alone. in time, things heal. but that time alone is crucial!!!!

it is excellent that you posted something about this, too, because i have a scorpio ex who has pretty much amputated me from his life. we were friends for six years!!! (that’s a good while for me, i’m 25). we were together in the third year, broke up, then after a few years past the wooing started again, but, surprise surprise, i couldn’t commit. the scorpio (10/23) pretty much felt that he and i were soul mates. there was a strong connection there, with our birthday just two days away, to be sure (though perhaps too similar…). but now he has decided that if im not going to be in his life romantically, i cant be in it at all! so im getting the opportunity to take what i dish out.

what is there to say when you break up with someone? i loved you once, i still love you and in some sense always will. but now, saying those things would simply cause confusion. at the point of a break up, a redefinition of terms must take place, a division of what has become fused into one. i think it is important to remember that that amputation wouldnt be necessary if there weren’t a lot of love present, a powerful force that people sometimes dont know how to deal with except to walk away from it.

ps: your question was whether or not we could see our venus styles in the way we handle break ups. i guess the venus in libra part of me has been coming out more recently. in the last few years, ive gotten into the habit of trying to get the other person to break up with me when i want to break up with them. when it can be subtly mutual in that sort of way, then you dont need to worry as much about causing unnecessary hurt and pain to another person. of course it still hurts, but at least they arent left thinking, “that bitch left me!” resneting you. they just kind of miss you and wish you were still around. yes, diplomatic and charming, just the way i like it.

well…I would prefer them not to get involved if they are going to leave! I go out of my way to be sure I want something before I go for it and I appreciate that kind of thought from others too.

“i think it is important to remember that that amputation wouldnt be necessary if there weren’t a lot of love present, a powerful force that people sometimes dont know how to deal with except to walk away from it.”
agoldenhairedlion - why would you walk away from love? and what would you being walking towards? a void? how could this be more attractive than love?

I don’t really understand this amputation concept - I can’t remember doing this to anyone. I have, however, left after repeated bad behavior from others…and I’ve always left a reasonable explanation why (though it should be obvious). I usually prefer to fix it though than to amputate. It’s too easy to just walk away and abandon the situation…and then run head on into the same situation with the next person.

I have been on the receiving end of this amputation though. And when I’ve asked why, I get the same response as agoldenhairedlion gave. Don’t understand it at all, but I try to put myself in their shoes, and I still talk to these people when they choose to return. People are fascinating and they change all the time I’ve learned to leave room for surprises and to accommodate this stuff as it always fits into a bigger picture - love always comes together when it is real.

Haha, I’m such a hypocrite. I do the Scorpio hot-to-colder-than-ice leaving. And it’s because once I’ve reached my limit, I just stop caring. My feelings shut down within seconds, literally. The timing, how they feel, no longer matters to me because they’ve sucked every last bit of caring from me. I don’t relish it; i feel nothing. And THAT’S what gets people all riled up. “We shared all of this and you just don’t care? How can you not care?” I dunno why it happens, but it does. I still never regret time spent with anyone.

If someone were to break up with me, I’d like a nice, long, handwritten note listing reasons why the relationship has ended, and a very final closing. This way, I get all their reasons (retarded or not, at least I can accept them), and a clear goodbye.

Once i have been hurt to a certain point there is simply no way i’m going to pretend to be goo goo for someone. I think the old scorpio intuition can somtimes get obbscured when we are in love with someone. When we “amputate” it is claiming back all that we are without puting up with any more bull shit. Love is blind in many ways, i have been totally mistreated in relationships, and there just comes a point where my pride can’t take it anymore. I feel that saying that this is brutal to leave when you are fed up is another for of abuse and manipulation. I am not the one to be dragged through the dirt over and over and still get up with roses on the front door step.

To start with, I’d prefer to leave them. If not, then I’d still like to agree on leaving (I’ve got Libra), but then LEAVE. And don’t come back for anything.

Be honest and to the point with me, then make a clean break.

I’ve had a few guys simply disappear on me. One even moved, wouldn’t give me his new address, but wanted to stay in the relationship! Nuh-uh.

I have Neptune in the 7th, which explains this vanishing into thin air thing.

I don’t like this at all. Tell me the truth. I’ll respect that. I may be hurt, but I’ll move on.

I can’t judge them for that approach because I do the same thing. I am a Taurus with sun, moon, + mercury opposite pluto (8th house)/saturn in scorpio (9th), ascendant square both. Sometimes it gets to be too much really. And my venus is square my neptune also. I find that people project the weirdest things on to me, and I to them at times. I have my limits.

I usually find that with Mars in Gemini, a good way is to do it by letter, deleting a webpage or deactivating an SN. I have a nasty habit of letting people use me as a therapist for free. Maybe I should just get my Ph.D and get it over with because then I could at least be compensated for my troubles!

Quickly and permanently. I’m a no looking back kind of gal.

I am with Lexie and Des on this too. I haven’t been in the dating scene for a while now, but I know this about myself in general….I like to know what it was that changed for them, an explanation, not drawn out, but try to be upfront and mature then a very clear goodbye.

I prefer amputation also, but with a discussion and some closure through that. I’m also an amputator, so I understand, and I do feel brutal, but really, I look at it as setting people free for a healthier future.

Forgot one -

If it’s serious enough, the situation, I don’t want them knowing what I know. That way, they are most likely to accept it and fade away rather than trying to hurt me in retaliation. They do seem to be scared shitless when I get very calm in a bad situation. But if someone hurts me that badly, if THEY had any grace or evolution in themselves, they would let me go and respect my right to choose who is close to me and who is not, just as I respect others rights to their own boundaries.

All it’s about, honestly, is truly self-preservation. It’s apparent from all the scorpio themed comments on various posts that people really have a hate on for us scorps, which I find unfair and way too generalized. It’s like hating all Germans because of Hitler. It’s unfair and ridiculous.

Forgot to add-

To take seriously.

Would you prefer the executioner to use a sharp axe or a rusty saw?

I like it painfully honest. Prepare me by saying that you are not interested in being with me any more. List some reasons, truthful reasons. It will hurt and there’s a good chance I’ll curse at you, but can take small comfort that I was deserving of honesty.

Plus, the rage at hearing you say bad things about me helps me to get over you. Because clearly, you’re stupid. Hee.

“I want sudden death overtime, like in hockey. I don’t do drag-outs very well.”

This must be the Cap Moon talking, since it’s exactly how I feel too. All my breakups have, at least in appearance, been like that. But my Cancer Moon boyfriend, who was actually the one to breakup, didn’t probably realize how much he needed someone to rely on him emotionally. We’ve only seen three times after he left the house to stay with his mother (the last being him taking me to airport to start a new life 3 months after the breakup), but he was very anxious to stay, as he said, “friends” with me. What he really wanted, I realized after taking time to study astrology, was to keep me confiding in him emotionally.

Lisa, sorry. Welcome, here.