A few people have asked me how I feel being married, Annalisa was one of them. I may be wrong but when someone asks me something like this, I think they really want to know the answer. Like maybe the answer will be interesting.

I think the answer probably would be interesting if only I had one. I told my sister I didn’t really know how I felt, adding that while my mind processed very quickly, my feelings were deep. I don’t really know what my feelings are until they surface and if I go searching I get ideas, not feelings.

I’ve run into this before but didn’t grasp it until today. I remember a few years ago the soldier was telling me all the ins and outs and upside-downs of his emotion where I was concerned and I was almost completely unable to respond with anything more than a promise to respond when I could do so honestly.

I felt quite inept at the time. I must have said something along those lines to him, 50 times or more.  But when I did come up with the goods, the goods were real which I guess is another example of what happens if you will only give a person some time and space without exerting your will or attempting to control them.

Anyway, the wedding was whirlwind due my strangeness but also due the soldier’s job.  He was home for 3 days in the 35 or so before the wedding and I have had all kinds of things to manage in his absence. He typically gets into town late, midnight or one or two in the morning which throws my sleep schedule off. His is already off so we just sync up as fast as we can which is pretty fast, thankfully.

So this time he came in and we had to get married but I also had to do the usual things that get him home and back out… basically unpack after what is essentially a 3 week camping trip, wash everything, re-pack it, write the blog…. and oh yeah, get married.

In my case the distraction from the wedding was welcome.  I could not possibly want to be married to him more but I don’t like the bride gig and I mean I don’t like it one bit.  So now I have been married a few days. The soldier left a day after the wedding but was unexpectedly back in town the next night… sort of.

He was going to be nearby, getting in late again but if I wanted to see him I had to go pick him up at about 11:30 PM last night. I opted to do that but when I got there… well they closed the highway for repairs because it was late at night so next thing I knew he was stuck in a traffic jam, 11 miles away that was so slow moving he only covered 2/10 of a mile in 50 minutes.

At that rate… well I headed home only to get almost there when the traffic broke so what the hell? I made a u-turn and went back for him, it was now about 1 AM and I have to have Vid to bus by…. ah never mind.

The point is I don’t know how I feel. I do feel but my feelings outside of the initial pure joy and exhilaration have not had time to form or solidify or reveal themselves or whatever the hell it is they do. Keep in mind the root here is 30 years old. It goes back to when I was a TEEN. Do you remember your teenage feelings? It’s not the simplest thing to cobble then with now and come up with something coherent.

As for the astrology, Saturn, Uranus and Pluto are transiting my Moon and I guess that says it all.