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1 Minute Astrology - Synastry: What Happens When Love Natures Are Mismatched In Relationship?
Ask the collective…
From 2007 - Synastry In Real Life: What if two people love each other but have love natures that are not compatible? Is this resolvable?
37 Responses to “1 Minute Astrology - Synastry: What Happens When Love Natures Are Mismatched In Relationship?”
That is very true. Maybe we grow up thinking everybody wants love and that love means the same to everyone, brings the same feelings, fulfills the same needs, but it’s not like that.
And I have to say popular culture has a huge influence on how we see it.
Your Ex is reminding me of Me, so not a lot more to say on that.
8th house venus in scorpio as well, square jupiter, opp chiron and sextile saturn. I’ve never heard venus described that way before, what you said about it ending in pain/devastation etc. but that’s been my MO as long as I can remember. But knowing that helps, because I don’t want it to be that way. My parnter has Venus in scorp in the 9th but manifests his completely differently although it aspects saturn as well, but also his asc. in aquarius.
Being a Pisces whose chart is loaded with confusingly contradictory postions & aspects, I’ve never really known WHAT my “story” is in any aspect of my life… except when it comes to marriage, about which I’ve always been as clear as a bell. Maybe it’s the Earth in my husband’s & my chart, along with his Mars conjunct my Sun in Pisces that makes the movie “Two-Family House” our idea of an idealistic, romantic love story. It’s the outlook that love isn’t what you say, it’s what you do, no matter what happens or what anybody says. Not sure how our each having Venus in Aries (his:5th; mine:7th) trine Uranus in Leo (his:8th; mine:11th) fits in with this, though!
Hey this is interesting I never looked at this before.
I have Venus conjunct the South Node in Gemini, in the 12th or 11th house depending on how you look at it. Square Jupiter and trine Uranus.
My husband has Venus in Scorpio (don’t know what house), conjunct Jupiter and opposite Saturn. He has a bunch of other planets in Scorpio too.
You know, this explains a lot in our relationship. Love to him is MERGING but sometimes I find merging stifling (even though I’m a Cancer). He is also fraught with relationship insecurity at times, which I chalk up to the Saturn opposition. Whereas I can recall only one or two times in over a decade of marriage where I’ve felt jealous (my motto is, his penis is his responsibility). His dedication is solid and unwavering, to me and to anything he has an interest in. Really quite amazing and wonderful. I am dedicated to our marriage of course (7th house Capricorn and sun/other planets in Cancer). But I definitely don’t like to be stifled.
With his Scorpio, he can be secretive about the love he wants, but with my nature, I am not the most romantic person, if he doesn’t tell me what he needs I might not know. Communication and mutual respect is what keeps it together for us.
I’m glad you brought this up - thanks!
Selkie: sometimes just being grounded and together on the love front can be radical in itself! 
My Venus is in Aries. Conjunct Mars, opposed Pluto. Part of a Grand Fire Trine with Saturn and Neptune. I’ve never doubted that I would find love in this life. But I didn’t have an ‘ideal love.’ I never said things like ‘I want a husband’ or ‘I want a family’ or anything like that. Just love pure and simple. To feel love and to be love.
I’ve always been a seeker. I’ve always wanted to merge with Divinity. And I’ve always been profoundly confused when I set my sights on someone and they didn’t love me back (oh that bloody Aries!)
My SO has Venus conjunct Moon in Scorpio. I’ve discovered over the years that while he has an inordinate amount of love to share, he always keeps a little bit to himself. I really can’t fault him for that. I can play my own Venus/Neptune card but he has the stories (experience) to back his way of thinking. He’s never been idealistic like I have…and I’ve never experienced loss like he has.
This is very cool. It’s interesting for me to realize while I have Venus opposed Pluto, I fell in love with a person who has Scorpio Venus/Moon, as well as someone who’s had Pluto transit 6 planets in this lifetime already.
Venus in Taurus in the 2nd opposing Mars in Scorpio in the 8th, plus Sun in Aries in the 1st opposing Moon in Libra in the 8th. My love story is the Song of Songs from the Bible.
“I am my beloved’s
And my beloved is mine.”
Mine, mine, mine. There’s the Taurus wanting to possess. But it’s a gorgeous depiction of a deep spiritual bond (Scorpio), a feeling of absolutely belonging together (Libra), a commencement from courtship to consummation (the Aries hunt brought to fruition). And the female in question is the most perfect among women, the most worthy, the most treasured (helllloooooo, Aries). And another thing that’s really beautiful about it is that the man speaks of the woman as an equal. There isn’t any reference to her being chattel or one of many in his stable of wives. It’s a man and a woman searching for each other, coming together, knowing that in the other there is to be found the other half, fully sexual but wholly and perfectly pure.
And I usually end up with someone whose story is more like, oh, “Weird Science” or “Porky’s.”
My question is: if you have Venus/Neptune and AMF had Venus/Saturn, what happens with the Soldier since he has Venus/Saturn? NGH! ;/
I have Venus in Libra in the 12th … opposite Saturn in Aries. I’m inclined to say ‘Haven’t a clue, how would I?’ but then, better I think is This Story Is Unfinished.
max
['And they want to test different endings at different theaters.']
I think my love story is …………. hmm. Weird. I have Venus/mars conjunct 2nd house Cancer opposite Jupiter in the 8th in Capricorn … plus 1st Sun/Saturn/Asc in Gemini opposite 7th moon and Neptune in Sag. I’m still not sure what my story is, and I don’t know that I’ll ever settle on *one* story, if that makes sense.
I am a counselor so I see a lot of couples and I have definitely noticed that the differences in ‘love scripts’ is the leading cause of deep dissatisfaction in many relationships. Many people can’t even put their finger on why they are unhappy together and most conventional counseling techniques don’t do a very good job of helping them figure it out. Astrology is really great for these people because it provides a framework that people can use to explore their own personal stories. Great job Elsa for addressing this important and difficult topic!
My story- Venus in the tenth (Taurus)- love is business, not very romantic I know.
My partner’s story- Venus in the fifth (Pisces)- love is romance.
It works because people with a nicely aspected venus/pisces or venus/Neptune are lovers and tend to see their partners in the beautiful hazy light of romantic ideation. So my partner just loves me like I am perfect and can glaze over my many imperfections and still love me in a completely pure way. I really respect that even if I can’t personally love like that.
Aries Venus conjunct Saturn in 5th House. Giant romance with a big painful ending. Drama up the wazoo.
In reading this I’m thinking of the gent i’m currently getting to know. He has venus conjunct midheaven in aquarius, I have venus in the 12th in libra. So far he plans our dates and I just show up haha and I love it! I have nothing to worry about because he has all the details taken care of. I feel a little silly at times because i’m so relaxed in his presence. But I absolutely love it. And I don’t feel a lethargic relaxation but rather very alert and zen like.
We made-out/merged on the first date - my love story - but then he asked to be friends first and to take things slower - his love story. I have no problem with it because it gives me a freedom that I love, and a proper courtship period.
He has his own business, and in my imaginings of being with him I think of him being away working at his business and me alone with plenty of time to just be. Perfect!
Avery - what a beautiful description.
I’ve got 10th house venus opposed saturn, capricorn moon in the 7th. Love for me takes time, is built slowly and made to last. It also has its share of obstacles, pain, disappointment, it’s just hard work! It’s also about integrity and fair play. When all the steps are laid out correctly over time, things can and do work out.
The venus scorpio conjunct saturn sounds just like someone I love. He has venus/pluto and venus/saturn with scorpio moon conjunct uranus on the 7th. Love for him is mixed up with fear, pain, devastation and unpredictability. But with venus in cancer and moon in 7th, it is also about merging, security and commitment. He tends to manifest both at different times.
Our favorite movie is The Graduate, lol
I’ve got Venus-Mars-Pluto conjunct in Libra/4th, conjunct IC and N. Node, and it hits everything in my chart (although most are minor aspects: semi-squares and such).
As you would expect from that, love for me is pervasive; it should be something you feel deeply, all the time, touch everything you are and transform you. It’s intense and satisfying and a whole lot of hard work (Capricorn in 7th, although it’s an empty house).
I can truly understand movies like “Fatal Attraction” where love drives someone insane (or brings out their insanity - six of one, yanno) — not that I advocate that kind of response, but when you feel about love like I do it’s easy to understand how some could be driven off the deep end.
Lucky for me, I found me a Libra with Mars-Venus-Uranus conjunct in Scorpio — we have the same story! YAY! 
I bet people here get tired of hearing about my chart. It’s so compact. *lol*
I have Scorpio rising, venus square mars, sun conjunct pluto and moon trine pluto. Say hello to my friends: power struggles, sexual intensity, obsessions and emotional extremes. I eat men alive, drain them of their lifeforce and then they leave me…
Oh well.
Glad to see I wasn’t the only one amused. *lol*
I’ve got Venus in Gemini/2nd + Venus opp. Neptune, Venus sq. Saturn, Venus trine Pluto. I always liked that song that goes ‘Bring me a higher love.’
Back with my guy– he’s taurus Venus 11H and I’m Libra Venus 2H. Embarassingly enough, I like thinking of him as husband material. Even gives an erotic boost. Gag. Thought I was done with that. His idea of love is basically a lot of sex. But I guess that’s more the Mars Aries.
Compatibilities between different values of couples in my mind are the hardest to deal with in couples therapy. That is, spritual values, financial values, religious values, values on raising kids, and values determining individual roles in relationships. Competitiveness or disagreement with regard to “values” compatibilities makes for long term couple counselling.
There are several other kinds of compatibilities in relationships however this particular one can create some problems especially where one person wants more of a “voice” in how the money gets spent or saved, how the children get disciplined, or which church or political party to follow. There is nothing wrong with being different however it helps to have some compatibility in these departments.
Conenctions between Saturns and luminaries will configure in this one. Sometimes sun/moon midpoint synastry will also have some bearing.
Interesting blog Elsa and there is much to reconcile for oneself within the astrological synastry of couples.
kingsley
Max: loved the bit at the end (about different endings)
Togi, your post reminded me of, “life’s a bitch, and then you die”. I hope it’s not for you…
Dolce: that was a Steve Winwood song.
My Venus is in Scorpio, square Jupiter in Leo, trine my Pisces Ascendant, conjunct my Scorpio Sun and semi-square my Virgo Pluto.
I guess I am just learning about love… I tried to MAKE myself love before, but that didn’t work.
I don’t know if it is reflected in my chart, but I feel the same way as Sa, that love is pervasive for me. It really does take over. And lately….I’m spending way too much time daydreaming about someone…
Be lucky if I don’t cut my finger off, or something :o)
Elsa, (I hope you haven’t explained this to me before) but what do you mean about having a “Venus Neptune”? Do you mean having them in the same house?
Snap, it means having Venus and Neptune in aspect together; Venus in Pisces or 12th; or Neptune in Taurus/Libra or 2nd/7th. Any contact between the two planets, although a direct aspect or mutual reception is probably the strongest pairing (I think).
Thanks Sa, one of these days I’ll get this stuff…
NP, man, this stuff takes time to assimilate. It’s complimacated!
Well that’s for darn sure! I had no idea.
And sooo many people scoff at the horoscopes in the paper, it gives it a bad name.
And to think, if my Scorpio Sun guy hadn’t come along (and confused and frustrated the hell outta me) I never would have started checking into it! Thank God for the computer, cause now I have some understanding. (And thank you to Elsa’s bar!)
Wish I could stick a great big smiley right here, but this will have to do :o)
Dolce, my love is as high as yours: venus cap/2nd, trine pluto, uranus, sextile neptune, cj antivertex.
Sometimes I consider getting myself into a nunnery… ;P
Haha Bluemarine! I hear you. I think when Venus has this many aspects, etc., it should be called the ‘trickster Venus’ or something like that.
Snapdragon - I’ve done the same, trying to make myself love someone when deep down I knew I never could, at least not in the way I wanted it in my life. I was looking for that higher love!
I have a rouge Aquarius Venus intercepted in the first house. She has no aspects. So, I love to flirt with everyone and run away before getting caught. With the multiple disastrous marriages, I must blame that silly Cancer Moon of mine for trying in the first place. I defiantly don’t deal with inequality well nor limitations upon me of any sort. Oddly Venus plays the part of 2 Yods in my chart… the Apex with Uranus and the Moon, and as the base with Jupiter with Uranus as the apex. OH! No wonder I can’t get enough of Aquarian men (they like to run away too!)…. Good thing my Capricorn Sun is in the 12th, I give it plenty of reason to flagellate itself.
Dolce: I think it first started to hit me (I finally started to become aware)when we were watching a movie one night. It was a passionate scene- you know, where they’re kissing like mad in the kitchen, and the man uses his arm to sweep everything off the table so he can lay her down on it.
My ex scoffed at that like, “yeah right, who would do that?!!!”. I don’t know if I said anything, but you bet I was totally thinking, “ME!” I wanted that passion. I wanted to want someone, and be wanted, THAT much. You know, that you just couldn’t wait, that you didn’t care about anything else….
What happens? Can you say roller coaster? You wait all week for a thrilling ride, and like a teenager you want to go again the next day, but the management of the exhibition park keeps changing the hours of operation.
Hi!
I have Venus in Pisces (9th) square Neptune in Sagittarius (7th). Tell me about IDEALIZATION.
Actually I´m single for about two months now (can´t stand the lack of romance), but all of my prebious partners had Venus in 12th (all of them)
Yesterday I saw the movie “Only you” with Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr. And this movie I think represents the configuration I mentioned before so well!!
Venus in Sag T-squaring Pluto and Jupiter. Moon in Scorpio conjunct Neptune, sextile Pluto, square Saturn.I tend to think of my love life (or lack of it currently) as some kind of Mad Max apocalyptic wasteland. See you a power struggle and raise you a tantrum, Togi! Problem is my Cap sun and Saggie Venus just LOVE the Sound of Music, but the plutonian bits would rather be in Bad Timing. Maybe it’s time to write my own script.
Venus in Sag (12th house) exactly conjunct Uranus, square Pisces Moon (3rd House)
I find myself trying to escape falling in love, or trying my hardest to stay level headed & clear so I don’t slip into that “hooked” feeling… you know the can’t eat, can’t sleep because they’re on your mind. Then I feel weak and want to do break free, and sabotage a little bit to make sure that they’re equally hooked. Such a terribly tangled web. I think love is grand & big, but at the same time soothing & calm. Now to find a nice balance.
Some time ago you posted a link to Anyara Astrology that included the theory of Dwads from the Hindu Astrology. Dwads are 12 subdivisions of each sign that are ruled by the 12 signs in sequential order, so in Aries the first 2.5 degrees are the Dwad Aries/Aries, from 2.5 to 5 degrees it’s Aries/Taurus, and so on. The funny thing is that when I checked my Venus degree in Cancer, it’s the Dwad of Capricorn, so it’s a Cancer Venus with a Capricornian flavor, and it’s true. I love the Capricornian nature and feel very at ease with people with Venus in Capricorn. I also checked many other cases and found it really insightful, especially for chart comparisons. Here is the link again: http://koti.mbnet.fi/neptunia/dwads.htm
Thank you Elsa!
Liz - I am also seeing someone with a midheaven Venus - in Libra, and mine is 7th house Pisces. He does go off to work and I get time to create in peace. He is very detached, yet passionate when the moment is right. I am contained by him. I have been going through a crisis of adapting to his rules as well as a relationship that is simple and balanced whereas I have always been drawn into desperado deadends. There is no drama unless I create it - and then he carries on as if my instabilities are nothing at all. Very stabilising actually and no space for projection.
Am interested that so many Scorpio Venus’ respond - their need to investigate and unearth perhaps.?
My film would be Romeo and Juliet even though I don’t like that story very much. They both die in the end. Damn that Scorpion stinger!
I have Venus and Pluto conjunct in Scorpio, in the 8th house!
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The Sound of Music is a beautiful film. My Venus in Leo wants to be loving and outgoing but is square to my Moon in Scorpio. There is always suspicion and jealousy mixed with pure bliss. Like the first pains of new love all the time. The hiatus of passion mixed with the pain of doubt. My husband is the most sincere, loyal, giving, romantic person. Why can’t Scorpio ever enjoy a good thing, always looking for the dirt ?