Most of you know that my sister is the quintessential shopper… I am the anti-her. I have been dragged to the mall on occasion (Mowgli goes to the Mall) and just recently (this year) been informed that I do in fact have taste, however raw it might be.

I had my clothing down for awhile there, courtesy my ex, the AMF.  He was a painter with a terrific eye and he really helped me tremendously however left to my own devices, I revert to form.

Finding proper costume has been further complicated because the store where I used to be able to reliably find things has gone straight to the birds in hell as far as I can tell. I am sickened by the offerings over the last several seasons so today I went in search of a new source.  if you were my sister, you’d already be laughing because she would know I’d go in wherever, dressed poorly and boisterous on top of that.

Now I try to behave but motherfucker.  If you ask me a direct question, I will answer it. “Do you like that?” the sales girl will ask?  “Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” I might answer.

I actually only add the “fucking” if they are being annoying  by lying through their teeth and trying to make me buy ugly clothes. I am very nice when they are very nice and today’s gal was nice but…

I was in the dressing room when she called in… ‘How are you doing in there?”

“Well you know,” I said. “I would be doing a lot better if I could see.  It’s dark in here, you know? Can;t see anything and I went out there and tried to look in the mirror and they are all dimly lit as well. I can’t see the color of what I am putting on in here and I’d be more inclined to buy something if I could actually see what it looked like.”

“Oh, I know,” she said.  What else could she say? “There is a mirror out here that is more flattering,” she called in.

“Flattering?  You mean those slanted mirrors you’ve got out there?  I don’t want be flattered, I want to see what I look like and I want to see the color of what I am wearing but it’s out of the question in this store which is too bad because I like these clothes. I like the cut of these skirts… they are very nice, I like how hang now if I only knew what color I was wearing but those mirrors out there are hung in the dark too….”

I did leave with a skirt and a top and sales gal did help me but this was tough on Venus Neptune. As if I’m not confused enough as it is.

And don’t think I didn’t realize that some probably shop there because of the dim light. A jarring day for the sales gal and P under today’s grand cross.