My natal Saturn at 0.51 Cap is already under the effects of transiting Pluto.

My natal Sun-NorthNode-Mars-Merc stellium stretches from 3 to 13 Libra (8th house).

I’m ready for the combined (and bidirectional) onslaught of transiting Saturn and Pluto.

I have a pretty good idea what lies ahead (for me personally). Everything is already in motion. And I just got a phone call that adds to the heap… and the heat. The ~outcome~ however is anybody’s guess.

I’m gonna play each card that’s dealt me the best I can, in the moment. Que sera sera.

It’s not fun while it’s happening, but I have an eery confidence (a certainty almost) that no matter what, I’m gonna be in an exponentially better place once I get to the other side of all this.

(I forget now, I think I’m looking at 8 years? …before I’m in the clear.)

Does it help to not think about it? When I think about it I am sure to obsess.

some days it feels like I’m digging a hole in which to plant a beautiful flowering tree. other days it feels like my own grave. funny, cos it’s always the exact same hole.

What do you mean, Elsa? How come you shouldn’t?

Satori - maybe it’s both. Our cat is buried right next to one of our apple trees. Sometimes that is the best is to transform the old life into the new. Maybe it’s a dream of transformation??

3 years ago I was wiped out. Am still at ground zero, but am a lot stronger today then I was then.
In a period of a year and a half, soon after I was divorced,I lost my home, met a ‘gaslighter’, was silly enough to not see him for what he was, yet not before he traumatized me to the point I flew the coop leaving him with the last of what I had left..home furnishings, etc. Then, out the door went the income. My ebay business went down the tubes, my alternative healing practices sank next, was unable to secure work in my previous field(bartending/fine dining manage), and then my health took a walk(1st house moon opp 6th mars). My eldest daughter moved out while all of this was happening right after she turned 18..she has done very well though and I am proud of her! My youngest daughter, 15 at the time, moved in with her daddy and his new wife/children because she wanted a family unit. New step mom was abusive to her, police involvement took place, and my daughter ended up residing with her grandparents in PA to stay in her school district and be around her family, while I needed to make a move to RI to get by with the assistance of a very good friend.

LOL..wow, what a book of ick, yet I am not done. Anyway..to try to clip it down, I came back to PA(my car died right after), since then have been living with a friend for 2 years trying to catch my breath yet continue to roll through these transits.

Natal grand cross-mutable/angular ASC/Moon/Sun/SN/Pluto/Mars/NN
4th house sun/SN/Pluto:Virgo
So these saturn/uranus/pluto transit have activated pretty much everything I am I think..LOL.

My old life is gone. The only things I brought forward is my daughters, my dog Molly, and one previous friend. Family..well, they left along time ago, and the rest when Saturn conj. my IC.

I suppose I am in the void..but I have learned so much I have volumes of material written that I hope when the next round hits my early Libra Ur/Jup/Merc ,and I guess from reading Elsa’s info above my 0-MC/IC, I may just make the breakthroughs I need to support myself externally again..now that the inner has been rebuilt.

Most important thing I learned through all of this is that I am “someone”, that I have a right to exist on this planet equally as much as any other..and I think I now know what it means to value/love yourself.

As the serenity prayer says: You learn to change what you can, and accept what you cannot.

I got busy on “Me’. Worked that inner, now am working the external..and am pleased with my results. It is wonderful to feel good again..even if the midst of all the chaos.

I used to have astrologers, psychics etc, some co-workers, some just in passing ask me if I knew how strong I was. One man used to to say to me all the time I was ’scary’ strong. Some would look at me and cry..and that used to scare the crap out of me, that they would grieve for me but not say why. Yet all of them said someday, I would be happy..really happy. LOL..they were right, in a way. I am at peace now, with myself. Don’t know if it is happiness exactly..but it is more than I had before all of this.

I think it is important to find the little gems while you travel through these tougher lessons..laughter, those ‘perfect’ weather days, sex. Sometimes it is effort..but you just keep trying even if you have to dig the crap off the top of the gem to get at it.

I think it’s equally important to FEEL it all..the pain, the sorrow, the anger. Just be cautious not to spew it at anyone that isn’t a part of it. I used to not feel..thought I did, but I didn’t. Was scared to I suppose..a tough upbringing with too much pain..I was a master at disassociating. Didn’t know it though. Now, I let myself feel..all of it. And it makes the sweetness bliss..and well..the ugly does hurt, but, I am now much more balanced, and I know I am not just my emotions and it is safe to have.

EEKK!! I wrote a book. Thanks for allowing me the space to do so! I’ll try in the future not to ramble on about myself, and listen more..lol…is hard right now due to Mercury..am a Vir/Gem/Gem.

I appreciate you Elsa! You helped me a lot today. Just sayin’….

Just wanted to put it out there. The feeling came from inside of me too

(Oops didn’t mean to post twice, but the first post had a typo)

satori that is brilliant…and so true

Oh boy… look what I started -_-

Pluto will be hitting me left, right and centre while it’s in capricorn. It’s squaring my sun right now, but it’s opposing my moon next and conjuncting midheaven. Oh boy -_-

Saturn is also kicking my ass big time… A lot of things have happened. Although what came out of all these is a change of career.

Although I mentioned in the boards that some of my experiences are “positive”, it doesn’t mean I am not going through hell -_- Quite the opposite, actually, but I just figured there must be a purpose to all this.

Yay Kachina! Your comment moved me. I had a series of severe upsets like yours at roughly the same time. I’m glad you posted. Sometimes it takes situations like that to make you see how capable you are. “Most important thing I learned through all of this is that I am “someone”, that I have a right to exist on this planet equally as much as any other..and I think I now know what it means to value/love yourself.” YES, me too.

SaDiablo - I don’t have much faith in people either, but I have unlimited faith in life. I’ve learned that people may treat you badly, heap loads of pain your way, but life itself always protects and loves you unconditionally…if only you believe and give it the chance to show you how good it can be. Life will never fail you.

Ugh.
Pluto has been squaring my sun at 0 Aries since last year. Saturn has been squaring my Saturn and Uranus and Moon… And more, etc, etc.

Now I have all of my angles at early degree cardinal signs and Saturn will be going over my rising and opposing my Sun at the same time.

Can’t wait. After this past year those transits have geared me up for whatever hellish things are on their way.

“Thanks, moonpluto. The feelings come from inside of me. They may or may not be justified but they do factor.

It’s not really a complaint, it’s a statement although I think it’s a rich one.”

—-

I agree with that - it is rich.

Dee, welcome. I am sorry but I am a visual person and can’t make heads or tails of a chart described in text. But I will say that this: “getting up every day and doing what has to be done?” seems joyless to me and is not at all in line with how I think.