Absolutely true. I let someone fool me years ago, and almost let him fool me again more recently. A friend of mine married this exact type, was struggling with it, and I had to say to her once (thank goodness she didn’t get mad at me for my honesty, but I can spot this guy in a millisecond after my experience), “It was horribly humbling, but necessary, for me to just admit to myself that my ‘love’ wasn’t in any way special. I wasn’t special either. I wanted to think that I had something unique and beautiful, but I was just a victim of a scam.” And seriously, once I did that, I moved on pretty quickly. It took a long time to reach that point, but I am still sooooooo relieved I did.

Venus opp. Neptune

good point at the end.. i think that’s one of the most important things when it comes to healing from such an encounter too.. realizing that there was “nobody there”. it was your own humanity stretched out to accomodate someone who doesn’t even have any, and will never have any.. no matter how much energy you put into trying to see that they do. ( speaking specifically about encounters with various different types of sociopaths that is )

haha! :S

not years, but some pretty scary stuff.
although i usually did the walking out. listened to my instinct soon enough, i guess. but eek.

and i hate a certain kind of salesperson, too. same reason.

i’m still shocked, every single day, it seems, at how little morals some people have.
it didn’t take long as a teaching public school to really catch on to how much of that’s going on…

Yes I did this twice last year - projected my values onto people who genuinely had none. One guy kept saying ‘Stop talking about morals and values - I have none.’ I didn’t think anyone could really mean that - HE DID!

I really never want to do that again - can someone tattoo to my forehead - no assholes allowed in!

Thanks Elsa.

The same goes for friendships… Regarding men- I have been in this situation once. It was bad, but at least i didn’t get caught up in projecting my morals onto him.
With friends who are inconsiderate I find it much much harder to accept and understand that their priorities and morals may not be similar to mine. I thought we were very close, but turns out…. not so much. That leaves me with my triple scorpio friend who is so loyal, (as am I) that I consider her family. There is such a huge difference between people it baffles me sometimes.

I lost a decade on this. It’s no joke! Right on, Elsa.

What dolce said:

I wanted to think that I had something unique and beautiful, but I was just a victim of a scam.”

That hurt me the most b/c i thought those words were only ‘mine’. What mine really wanted from me was to attach to my ’status and respectibility’ that he projected onto me. Like when people ‘marry up’?

I turned myself inside out to to understand this guy.

I think i wrote on the board that he uses things I said to ‘impress’ and ‘lure’ new victims. Has changed his ‘name’ to something I called him- says ciao instead of goodbye, sort of adapted alot of my ‘personal style, dress style, opinions, etc ‘. Maybe they don’t love but they sure know how to ‘up their game’ when they see something they think will work.

His trip was to act like he was the success, for him to pay for everything to be the big deal and when I started to figure he wasn’t, he vaporized.

The only thing left that bothers me and i hope someone will help understand this, is all the new targets have HUGE breast. You might have to put a bag on their face but they have huge breast. Now if you told me he was with a neurosurgeon, that wouldn’t bother me at all.

Sometimes in my lower minutes i think, must have been very hard to be with someone so not his type to gain whatever he thought he might with me.

Good news - women are getting smarter. In the 6 months since this happened, none of his new targets have worked out - he has had 4 — one lasted 6 dates, one 4 dates, one 1 date and one canceled before the first date after the first phone call. They just threw breast over their shoulders and walked. (just kidding - i’m jealous)

So was I the only one dumb enough to not see him waving the big red flag?

Same here. In fact, I know some of the things mine used to get back an ex after I took off, and 1/2 of it was stuff he’d learned from me, the other 1/2 complete lies about me and how badly I’d hurt him.

PixieDust - I have no way of knowing if you are delusional but you’ve got your Neptune workin’ when you wrote this:

http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/a-strange-experience

What I’ve been wondering for a while now is why we even want to project our stuff onto someone else - why would I want so much that someone else is like me and thinks and feels the same as I do. It feels really childish to not allow for the fact that others are different, that they are individuals, and somehow an abdication of responsibility for our own lives - like we need some sort of confirmation from outside for our existence. Strangely enough, I’ve found myself behaving a bit like this with a man I’ve been interested in - I keep finding myself telling him things about myself that aren’t strictly true because something in me thinks it’s what he wants to hear, and I can’t stand it, but it really feels like it’s actually being pulled out of me. So I did the synastry and there are a couple of major oppositions in there. Can’t no-one tell me this stuff isn’t powerful - it’s like if you are not mentally strong enough in who and what you know yourself to be, you will always be at the mercy of these forces.

(too “innocent” to use my aries is pretty darn ridiculous, in my opinion. my ascendant really fools some people.)

Lupa said:

There was a point in my life when I realized that you can’t treat crazy people as though they are sane.

Amen. This is something I’ve thought about very recently.