I absolutely do remember this as a kid, and I also see it happening with my own kids, particularly my oldest. My parents divorced when I was about 8, and going from one parent’s home to the other was like day and night. They gave me completely different messages, and it’s ridiculously transparent in my chart–Sun in Virgo in 6th, and my father’s home was rigid and organized (despite the fact he was a Pisces, I think it had more to do with his partner), and I perceived him as quite critical; Moon in Pisces in the 12th, and my mother’s home was without rules for the most, there was a “just be yourself” attitude, “do your homework or not, it’s up to you”, that kind of thing.

And then there’s my own kids. My son has the same Sun-Moon opposition in his chart, Sun in 6th, Moon in 12th, and he perceives myself and his father as “completely opposite” people.

And I agree, it’s something that we as parents can see happening, but where is the resolution? If the parents really can’t find a common ground, what can be done? I completely disagree with my kids’ father’s parenting style in most ways, and many of his opinions in general. This has not been a big issue for many years, as he has not been “actively parenting” for many years, but it has nevertheless had/has an effect on the kids. And it’s not like I am going to adopt his beliefs and parenting style in order to present a united front, because it’s just not me. I think some kids internalize the parents’ conflict more than others, and it’s pretty clear when you take a look at their charts.

I love your example, kashmiri.

I feel for Vid, Elsa.

Here’s the dialogue I heard growing up as a full moon child: She’s going to heaven (my mom’s destination of choice).
He’s going to hell (Mom’s destination for Dad!)

My stats:
Moon in Scorpio, 10th house (Mom)
Sun in Taurus, 4th house (Dad)
North Node in Aquarius (Dad - five planets in Aquarius)
South Node in Leo (Mom - five planets in Leo)

Today I feel I have benefitted from the integration of both worlds. I wish this for Vid and kashmiri, too.

Ugh, that sucks. I’m sorry you’ve all got to deal with that. It’s definitely really tough on a kid when parents aren’t consistent and on the same page. That’s when they start to see an obvious entree to start playing their parents against one another- which doesn’t necessarily make a kid manipulative, it’s just what they’ve been unconsciously shown they can do.

As for my own oppositions, I’ve got my Moon conjunct Ascendant in Gemini opposing Uranus in Sag (1st-7th) and my Mars in Scorpio opposing Chiron in Taurus (6th-12th), so as you can well imagine, I was an EXTREMELY oversensitive child. (Forget that I’m already a Pisces Sun.) I was really easily affected by other peoples’ teasing (to some degree, I still am), and if I didn’t burst out crying, my rare displays of anger would always inevitably get me sent to the school psychologist. Not my aggressors, but me. For as long as I can remember, one of my strong childhood feelings was a sort of “me against the world” sensation- or rather, “the world, and me hiding.”

Also worth adding an N.B. that the last statement could be amended to “my mom against the world, and me hiding.” I have an Aries Moon mother who was my constant defender and protector, almost to a fault, which made things a little bit extra-weird.

Venus and Mercury in the 7th (Venus conjunct the descendant) opposite Saturn in the 1st.
Lots of tension.

I do remember my parents not agreeing, but not in such a uncompromising way. Which doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.
But the strange thing is i strongly feel my dad in this and his relationship with my grandma, his mother: strife, tension, angst, sadness, but also big love. I’m in there somewhere too.
I feel that i know what i’m talking about, but i can’t put finger on it just yet.

My father tends to not say anything positive. He doesn’t have a negative heart, it’s just that nothing is ever good enough (Virgo Sun). I told my mother once within his hearing that if she ever does anything right let me know. LOL

I have gone through periods in my life where I was negative (Virgo Moon) and it gets to be a bad habit. I have trained myself to say “you sound like your father” which immediately shuts me up!

i should clarify: the reasons she left had nothing to do with my dad.

I always say that my parents married only for the purpose of bring their six children in the world; it was a karma. I can’t remember them ever getting along. They have been divorced 41 years and they still show hostility toward the other. My sun and moon are in opposition. My uranus and venus are in opp. My ascendant is opp my mars.

My husband also has a sun/moon opp. His parents are still married, but there was a very passive warfare for years between the two.

My parents fought all the dang time. Probably had a screaming fight every 2-3 days or so when my dad could speak. Taurus + Scorpio on the bad side. I was definitely a pushmepullyu like in Doctor Doolittle. My oppositions: Uranus/Sun/Chiron (loosely) on the asc/desc axis, Moon/Venus, Pluto/Mercury.

Elsa, I think you should keep up the happy so at least Vid knows there is an option besides nitpicking. I am always baffled at how the negative people inevitably end up with a positive one and vice versa. I know there’s balance and all, but man, I dunno if it really works. If Vid’s dad is not only negative but unreasonable (eating on the floor, REALLY?), what else can you do? The sucky part for Vid is that he’s forced to choose sides or fight for neutrality…but well, all of us end up doing that.

“(eating on the floor, REALLY?)”

Yes. He is from the school of whatever a kid does, it’s fine. I am from the school of BULLLLLLLLLSHIT!

reminds me of things my kidlet is dealing with.
he’s grown an unhealthy sort of dependence… and, well, an opposition across the descendent. what you wrote here really helps light up that dynamic.

i spent too much time looking at one of his lunar aspects. there’s several others which, well… illustrate more flattering qualities of mine. but i’m not going to deny that saturn, either….