Sorry they left you, DM. That’s a pet peeve of mine actually. I would never leave a friendship based on politics — I would just avoid the topic! Mars in cancer here likes to avoid certain topics!

I hope I’d let them grow. I want them safe and happy. Try to steer them right.

With an eleventh house saturn, i’ve grown to treasure those i call friend regardless of where the tides of fate sweep them. most of them come back into my life, eventually. and, if not, well, having a friend is a memory worth holding on to. i spent long enough alone….

but i like the way you think about it. it’s far more… respectful than the way i hear a lot of people talk about it.

but that makes me think of the neptune venus… used to loss. becomes easier to treasure the joys, i think, when you recognize their frailty…

I agree with you Jilly — def people I’ve grown apart from. Sometimes you have to….tear yourself away lol
I have 3 planets in the 11th, I think my friendships regenerate but I try not to take the true ones for granted. I am picky picky picky who I spend time on/with. I think my best friend these days is the Elsa blog! I’m always here!

I can totally relate here.
When pluto was on asc I “lost” both of my friends.
Since then I decided not to drag anyone into my life. I have been alone - lonely decades.

But everytime you meet someone you start to expect something from that other person and I have waiting it seems I’m always waiting. So it’s better be alone.

I try very hard to have the open door policy, but you kind of get upset when you have been alone for long time and suddenly you will have to step up and be a “friend” again and participate again like now you are worth it!

I know I’m not a good friend anymore but my past has made me this way.

I hope that you Ambidee can let go the anger and just depend on yourself!

When you are sick or depressed or mourning — that’s when you find out what your “friends” limits are. We can’t make the ones we love show up. Disappointment happens and it sux to be let down, I’ve felt that totally.

It’s tricky though too. We often don’t know what’s happening in others’ lives. Many don’t share. Many don’t want to share. No answers here — just agreeing that it’s hard.

As well, some people just don’t like bad news, they are uncomfortable in the dark. I like friends who like me when I’m up and when I’m down.

But even in our worst moments, it’s good to examine what we expect from people, what we are asking.

Yeah, Ambidee - it is hard! But we take everything we are to the path–

How’s your 11th house?

Been there Ambidee. And, yes, it sucks MAJORLY if you are a ‘feeler’. In my own experience I have learned (as an older lady) that it best to take the experience forward into your present & next relationships, by asking “Self - now that I’ve had that happen to me, how am I going to be to my friends in that situation in the future?” For me? It means I show up. I’m the one bearing soup and your favorite fruit, and a screwy magz that fits your quirky side and offers to clean, pay bills or run errands for you. All you can do is live forward. Perhaps, if one of these same friends who disappeared on you gets down, you can show them how it’s done? I’d think it’s a lesson served quietly please, only by example without any sermonettes.

and…I hope you are feeling back to your old self soon! What are you doing today to make yourself feel better?

Unfortuately since I too recently have had Pluto through the 11th, grow means that the handful of friends I had in the past, we have now grown apart and no longer have much in common, or they have moved far away and we don’t communicate well that way it seems. As a result I have lots of people I like and who like me, mostly because I work in a cool place, but few close friends. I guess it depends on your definition of friend. I have lots of “friends” but currently almost no one I spend time with one-on-one, not counting my SO. But I do have lots of group things to do if I wanted to, people who I interact with, talk to, and who would & have helped me when I needed, and I would and have helped them too. I have a good community, but not a confidante/compadre. Since Pluto through the 11th though I do miss having someone (besides my SO though I love him) to confide in and talk to and do things with.

Anyway to answer the question I would never impede someone’s progress in life by trying to cling to the friendship if they were growing and that meant growing in a different direction. I too would definitely without bother step aside if they were into a new man. That itself would not threaten my security at all or even bother me that much, as I understand it. If something else they did “threatened my security” (not sure what you mean by that really though) I guess the open door might close for a bit for self-protection. But for the most part I too have an open door friendship policy, unless someone were to do something really awful to me or someone i love, in which case, “amputation” I guess.