Seeing my sister’s writing on this blog illuminates things for me and probably does the same for you. One thing that comes across loud and clear is she does not bash other women.
I don’t bash other women either, I don’t compete with them and I see we have this in common. For the record, we were never taught not to bash other women, I think it is innate in our personalities.
It is particularly striking when you compare us to women who do attack other women as a matter of course and way of life and I have come to the conclusion, our Jupiter flavored Moons can be credited here.
In short, we are generous (Jupiter) with women (Moon). Both of us are especially kind to pregnant women, younger women and mothers. We extend ourselves to them benefit them in any way we can.
I’ll tell you it drives me crazy when one woman attacks another. It’s just painful is all, be it Britney Spears or Sarah Palin or whoever else you can think of (celebrities) that people (women) consider fair game.
It leaves me with a picture of one women beating another with a club and if that does not pain you, I can’t imagine why not.
Don’t get me wrong. I will vigorously defend myself against a viscous woman but to go after one for the hell of it, never mind one I don’t even know is incomprehensible to me.
If you are a woman who attacks other women, why do you do it?
31 Responses to “Jupiter Moon = Benevolence Towards Women”
ps that picture is cracking me up thank you
No way! Nothing makes me more sad than other women bashing eachother. I think we’d live in a much better world if that alone changed. The only women I ever find myself bashing is women who hurt other women. I don’t know if that makes me any better, but the basis of that comes from a decent place.
I think I put it down to insecurity. I hate it as well. Most women I know who feel strong and secure in themselves do not stoop to that level. In my opinion it is those with an incomplete sense of self who seem to resort to that…just an opinion.
K
Oh, I do that, I confess. Mostly I do it because I see them doing something that gives the rest of us a bad name. We’re supposed to uphold this idea of sisterhood, but when some of them do these idiotic things that reinforce the worst feminine stereotypes, what are we supposed to do? Just sit back and let them set us back a couple of centuries?
That said, your sister’s writing is outstanding (and nonjudgmental!) and Cosmo needs to pick this up if they’re not too busy with the latest “Drive Your Man Wild Tonight - Ten Ways!” article.
The thing is “idiot” is subjective. Do you know how many people think astrologers are idiots? Are the right just because they think it? Should they stand by why I wreak havoc or should they maybe put me to death for the good of humanity?
I do not attack other women, but I generally don’t like many other women due their behaviour. I get along fine with women who do not act like spoiled children, manipulative assholes, vicious beasts, or otherwise unsavoury characters…basically, I treat everyone with respect and expect the same. However, many (MANY) women do not treat other women with respect - and THOSE women do best by steering clear of ME 
I have no problem shredding them like one of those kitties up there w/a roll of paper towels…hehe
Well, I am talking homewreckers and women who get pregnant to trap a man and shit like that. The more benign idiots are spared my wrath. 
…and women who use men who love them, solely for financial gain; I could go on… If their behavior and intentions truly are looked upon as certified awesome by The Big Guy in the end, I’m pretty sure my opinion of them won’t matter a bit in the meantime.
I was thinking about this and I’ve said before, to the soldier but I think on this blog as well, that I don’t know any women like this and I do not. Remember Alexa and all he woman’s circles? We carpooled our kids for 6 years and I remember one time she was bringing my daughter home and they drove by two girls fighting having just got off as school bus. Not with Alexa on the scene!
She stopped the car, broke up the fight and told these girls, they were women! “You’ve got to stand together, help each other…”
I was so proud, I called the news. She was running for the school board at the time, grass roots campaign and I tried to get her some press.
I also thought about clearcut astrology. Annalisa and satori and I all pitched in to empower the woman in our own way. satori cuts people’s hair (men and women) and goes out of her way to do the best she can.
What does this other kind of woman do for you? Anything?
That is a serious question, right there. I would like to know. if you sit and bash with them, what do you get out of the deal? I have to ask because I could not perform this task to save my life. A woman starts bashing another woman around me and I find the door.
All of you should read that and believe it. This means if you think I am gossiping about you, well I am not. I just have thrust in other directions and I wean WAY other directions. I would be as likely to bash a woman as I would be to walk up and punch a man in the nose, there is just no way.
Del - in situations like that, I don’t see how bashing them helps or contributes. Who is served?
Well, 1) I feel better for asserting my belief that people shouldn’t shit on other people; and 2)by expressing that, I think I reinforce the notion in others that women should act honorably, as should men.
If people act like trash, I really see no harm in calling them out, if only to myself and my circle, who understand me anyway. A vagina does not make a woman my sister.
Elsa, you post about people of both sexes all the time who do things that are harmful to themselves and others, and not always in the most flattering light. What is the difference? Why is it okay for you to do that but not okay for me? You’re doing it publicly, and I’m pretty much keeping it to my own three closest.
I don’t sit around and bash women, but neither do I put any of us on a pedestal. We’re all human, we all make mistakes and do stupid stuff. We’re also all capable of living decent lives, regardless of circumstance (I’ll leave it up to you to define decent for yourself. ). If someone is doing something to cause harm to themselves or others (whether that be physical, emotional, what have you), I hope I would have the courage to say something regardless of gender. But I don’t take people apart for conversation or entertainment.
I don’t know any women who bash other women - even when I was younger and quite social.
Even though I have disdain for women who hurt other women, I don’t feel “outside” of that; like they are some other race of women outside of my own. When I was in AP psychology in 10th grade we all had to pose a question that we felt would be worthy of research. Mine was “If all women go through the same hardships and pain as eachother (menustration, childbirth, hearbreak, etc..) why does it seem so many of us are against eachother?” My psych teacher was so impressed that I cared about such a thing as a teenager. I remember her saying “Wow, a question like that would probably be approved for funding.” I’ve always been interested and invested in women relationships. In my life, it’s been a lifesaver and one of the most natural things….to love other women.
There is this quote (I think Gloria Steinem but I’m not sure) about ‘on your way to the top, bring another woman with you’ and I can’t find it no matter how much I google.
Anyway, that quote has always been very meaningful to me.
Del, I see it differently but I am out of gas and don’t have the stamina to write anymore or try to defend myself so I’m just going to bow out.
Let’s define “bash.” Is it private commentary, observing things that we think might be harmful or otherwise objectionable? And maybe injecting some dark humor into that observation?
Or is it out and out dehumanization of whatever subject we’ve appointed ourselves judge and jury of? Where’s that line?
All I know is that I have a glass house, yet still I throw stones. But I enjoy making the distinction between crap behavior and good behavior. Maybe it serves to define what’s acceptable and unacceptable in a clearer way for me, or maybe other people act so outrageously that I can’t help but hate what they’re doing.
Let’s agree to disagree. I still love you and I’m not going to storm out in a huff. Have a great night.
I see it both ways. And well, reading the comments helped pull out my inner struggle! Thanks for ripping that out of my head and into the air you guys.
Although it’s tiring to talk about (and I felt a little exhausted too reading). It’s an interesting topic. Creates these inner-fiery-pangs about what it means to be a woman. Does being a woman mean you’re going to feel this heat with other women ? Or is there another way…
Moon-Mars Capricorn. I see it now. The women in my life are all friggin’ generals (good *and* bad). =P
“In my life, it’s been a lifesaver and one of the most natural things….to love other women”
I agree. Even the badasses. Moon/Pluto/Venus t-square…I’m bound to meet allsorts and I’m not going to be malevolent towards them, life’s too short.
Wanton attacks would be have to be projected personal issues. Maybe they got this from (a) strong female(s) figure early on or from a mother who got it from her own mother etc. and no one got a grip about it for themselves. The reverse is true, women who self attack… I guess it all depends wether one is an extrovert or an introvert. 2 sides to that coin right? but I disgress.
Alexa learned from you Elsa, she set and gifted these girl with a different standard. I’m sure it at least planted a new seed within those two fighting kittens. I’m a firm believer that anything, even response habits, can be unlearned with awareness and practice.
I can’t fathom why anyone would do that gratuitously, even when feeling threatened and in survival mode, plus it will come back to hurt the person!
What comes below is another take from a couple of podcasted interviews I recently listened to and still have on my desktop, so it was easy to go in and quote. The interviewee is Kathy Caprino, whose work is dedicated to helping women. She says some will judge, attack or bully where or when they are not satisfied with themselves. (Anyone ever experience the bully who stomps their way in?)
Simplifying or taking this a notch down: “why are women not helping other women? It’s not because we are inherently mean, it’s because we’re struggling, and when we’re struggling and we’re not comfortable in our own skin we’re not filled up and when we’re not filled up we cant help others.” Her whole point was about the importance of women supporting each other!
I have a feeling that men do so much better supporting eachother than women. My theory on this is that competition is not seen as personal by men, but as highly personal by women. In other words women watch other women for flaws far more closely than men do men, because women believe it affects them personally. For men it’s just a game and it doesn’t affect their self-worth. (Ok this is generalizing hugely, but this is the idea anyway). In my mind, this is conditioning we should break free from, because ultimately it doesn’t serve us.
But yeah, it’s puzzling why we can’t seem to be more supportive. I personally have always steered clear from the gossip scene, and have also come across many women who DO support others- it’s invariably those women who are very secure in themselves (you and your sister would be good examples).
I must say that when your sister said something about being sad about Paris Hilton’s ordeal in prison, I nearly responded with a snide remark(she was treated so much better than ordinary people, which is not fair in my view.) I didn’t write anything because it’s not to be a personal attack on Paris Hilton, it’s the double standards in the world of the rich and famous which I have problems with. People in high places tend to get away with so much… So no, I wouldn’t consider that woman-bashing, it’s not as if I mind she has no cellulite or a lot of money- good for her :-).
It’s a primal thing… when little boys playing together have a power dispute, they tend to fight and work through the dispute and then continue playing… when little girls playing together have a power dispute, they tend to fight and then pick up their toys and go home… we guys, of course, have our own primal issues to deal with…
In general, my experience with other women has been very supportive on my part & theirs.
My step-daughter paid me a wonderful compliment last weekend - she told me she has always felt welcomed by me, accepted without judgment and I never made her feel like a freak. Nice.
Moon conjunct Neptune, sextile Saturn-Pluto. For me, Jupiter conjuncts my Sun (in the 12th)
Hey Elsa,
I’m pretty peaceful(Pisces Sun)but as a child I was always scrapping with other girls. Blame it on my Moon conjunct Pluto. It’s not my intention to hurt but frequently women take my kindess for weakness until I beat their ass when my Moon/Pluto rears it’s head. As an Adult I’ve noticed that I will ice people out if they’ve crossed me.
i will defend women from other women. or teach them how to protect themselves.
i don’t trust women untili get to know them well, and i will bash certain behaviours in abstract but i feel individuals are worthy of campassion and beating them down doesn’t lift anyone else up.
however, i’ve had long discussions with a close friend about this… women are better at undermining their reproductive rivals than beating them in open combat the way men do (which can have strict rules whereas women have a strong tendency to fight really dirty, because it’s often subtle rather than overt so it’s easier to hide nasty behavior) so i think it arises out of a lack of confidence in themselves as “good mates” where they need to stand on top a heap of beaten down demoralized women in order to be the one getting all the attention. which need gets projected out to complete strangers who get lots of attention (ie celebrities.)
just some thoughts.
mostly, though, i defend myself by realizing how absurd the whole thing is. not sure how to take it to the offensive. i’ve always been a bit more about avoiding getting hurt than fighting back. but i’m pretty slippery by now.
The thread between this post and recent related topics - makes me pause about faith in general which is reflected by how one chooses to direct their energies & attention, choosing actions & beliefs that feel right, feel good, being considerate & respectful. Every one has Jupiter! I might be biased with a Sag Moon here & Jupiter in Pisces, trining out of sign…
Wyrdling I hear you about subversion and not getting hurt. I remove myself from these situations if possible: I just want to let it go and move on. I remember the two Dark Heart posts … The worst side of the cave women mentality -what Dr. Z called primal, has trumped over the Jupiter in the chart, eradicated it, wiped it out and all that’s left is an inflated solitary meanness.
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I don’t get it either.
And boy do I see astrologer bloggers beating up Sarah Palin.