‘What are you doing, P?”

‘Oh, I dreamed about you last night and now I am listening to Gin Blossoms. They played our song in Phoenix in 2009.”

“The first time I heard that song, I was in Special Forces and as soon as I heard it, I thought of you. I thought of you and our 2-man gang. I mean our 1 woman, 1 man gang.”

I laughed.

“Yep, I thought about you and me and the red motorcycle and the black motorcycle.  We used to ride around didn’t we, P?” He paused. ‘Okay, enough of the sappy stuff.”

And now I go Pluto on ya…

Earlier today we were making plans for the next time he’s home. It’s summer now so it feels normal to us and we decided we’re run out for a meal on curb. That is when we were kids we’d go everywhere together on the red bike which is all he had and then we had until he gave that bike to me and got a new bigger bike that was black. Either way, we’d go out to eat whenever we could and there was one particular place we liked.

You ordered at the counter and they had booths where you could sit and eat but we never did. We’d always go outside and sit on the cement parking log-thing next to the bike(s) so we could have our conversation would be private I guess. We were never big on being seen.

We did go out but only to instigate things… make a big ol scene and then make our get-a-way on the motorcycle(s).

I am 17 in that picture, we’re sitting on the floor. I don’t know why we always did that… sit on the curb, sit on the floor. We had furniture but we liked the floor for some reason (oh yeah, we’re earthy) but anyway, he’s sitting there near me at an angle, his other hand on my ass. I don’t think we were ever further apart than that…. ever. You just couldn’t get us to separate, it’s very strange.

In whatever case, that is the magnet, the steel is nearby.

Otherwise put, there is Bonnie… and Clyde but what I wanted to say (Pluto) was that when we would sit there and eat our steak fingers and fries and shrimp and hot sauce. The sun would be beating down and we could smell the asphalt and the food and each other and we wanted for absolutely nothing.  Happiness was right there. It was ours and we felt it in the moment… we knew.

I think the soldier and I have this in common and always have. We have gratitude and the ability to feel good *right now* and I think I know why. It’s because we both know death is right there.

It’s a breath away, isn’t it?

Do you know how to be happy, now?