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Women Who Only Make Friends With Women Who Are Uglier Than They Are… And My Criminal Mind
Astrology in real life
“They’d be those kind of women who only have friends who are uglier than they are. You know those women?”
“I thought pretty much all women were like that.”
“No they’re not. I’m not like that. Hmm,” I said, challenged to think about it. “No, I don’t think I am. My friends are always… they are distinctive. I always choose people who are singular and the men who like them, like them. However, when I was single? I always wound up running with women who had taste opposite mine.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Invariably my friend always liked skinny blondes. You know… hippies. Men who look like Tom Petty. Just gross. Of course I liked short haired, dark haired men so there was never a conflict. We could divide the room like that.”
He laughed.
“Yeah, this was always the case. Even when I ran the with Ben, this was the case. You know, Ben and I have very similar energy but a man is either gay or he is not so there again, we could divide the room. You see what I mean. I never made friends with someone I would have to compete with, this is true but for different reasons.”
“I see, P.”
“Yeah, none of this we like the same kind of men but I-saw-him-first bullshit. I’m not going through that. I think my way is much smarter. I never have to run over my friend to get a man and she never has to run over me. Blond? There is one for you. Dark-haired? I am going after that. And then we’d run interference for each other, see? I could help my friend get the man she wanted and I was never attracted to him. I would hate it if I was. If I was attracted to my friend’s man, that would not be comfortable and I have never had to go through that.”
“Okay, P,” he said with a chuckle.
“So that is when I was single and when I have been partnered, that means I have a man I want and my friend has a man she wants and that’s that. It doesn’t matter what she looks like because there is no swapping. We are not swapping around. You have yours and I have mine. I am keeping my man and she is keeping hers. If she doesn’t like her man she can get another one, but not mine. You see? I have never had to compete with another woman for a man because of this… my way.”
He snorted.
“I figured this out when I was 14,” I said. “It has always been this way. Even my roommates when we were kids. One of them liked black men and the other was church-y. She wanted someone all religious and that was not my kind. You were my kind.”
He snorted again.
“Oh, come on. I know you like it that I’m like this.”
“P, I have always enjoyed every aspect of your thinking.” (Venus in Gemini)
On that, we said good night.
Do you compete with other women?
18 Responses to “Women Who Only Make Friends With Women Who Are Uglier Than They Are… And My Criminal Mind”
No, never. I was always really shy about meeting and flirting with men. I mean I can be really chatty and flirty if I know they’re interested but unless that’s clear no way would I approach them. Men who aren’t 100% available just don’t exist in that realm for me.
A friend and I had this conversation. It went:
Me: “How weird. Some guy just asked me if I wanted to be in a three some with him and his girlfriend.”
Her:”How’d they pick you? Not that I think you’re not attractive…”
Me:”I guess she picked me. I said no, of course.”
Her: “HAHAH! She totally thinks you’re uglier than she is!”
Me: “WHAT?”
Her: “Yeah. She thinks you’re “safe”. She’s only doing this to please her boyfriend and she picked you because she’s not threatened by you.”
STRANGEST conversation I’ve had in a while.
nope - i’ve had at least a few losses to my friends. no one that i really cared about though. i would definitely try to avoid being friends with someone who’d go after someone i really really cared about. i guess my choice of women (or men) has been very good cause that’s never happened to me.
on a separate note, i know the kind you’re speaking of…the kind who can only be friends with people less attractive than her. she’s also an evil witch. what’s the psychoanalysis on that. simple insecurity?
Oh, “they” have said that about me, too. I’m on the tall side and considered conventionally cute, but my best female friends have always been shorter and more robust. I don’t seek them out to make me look good; it just so happens that we attract each other and they have the finest brains and personalities ever - I just fell in love with them. I have never competed with them or used them as a foil to make me look better - when you’re secure with who you are, you don’t need that. The men who like them don’t like me anyway and vice versa, but you know, if their men came onto me, it would only serve to weed them out for my friends’ sakes.
NO!
My girlfriends are my family. Er, more so than my biological family. I would rather die than play games with the women I love.
No I would hate that. A friend and I had very different types, but there was one cross over man we both noticed. However, I saw her notice him, and then look at me to see if I had as well, so I just pretended I hadn’t. It’s not worth it, and besides that, she’s older, so that’s something else I thought. Perhaps it’s because I’m the oldest in my family, I think age should win out here and there!
If I do, I’m really bad at it lol
Never. I’m for you not against you.
I’d never even heard about this tactic until a few years ago when I heard about someone using it. And she is super, super insecure and bitter about pretty much everything. Also into one-upmanship, and very, very self-centered.
I’ve been in situations like dolce, though, and it’s kind of been understood that either you back off, or ‘lose’ gracefully…after the initial flirting, you see how the game is going and if you lose you’re happy if your friend is happy, and it just means that it wasn’t meant to be!
I grew up being compared with other women continuously. I still am by my mother. I most often feel I fall short of almost everyone, because most women are beautiful in some way.
My good friends have always been incredibly beautiful women.
My sister: “I only married men 6′4″ or taller, I like tall. thin men. We always had different tastes in men too.”
All my friends are prettier than I am. I think it must be Libra liking their surroundings to be beautiful. 
We used to have a game. Whoever was out for the night would pick a guy who they thought was cute. The goal would be to find a guy we all agreed upon. We never could. It was funny how divergent all of our tastes are.
I did have a girlfriend who was always kind of threatened by me - asking if I thought her guy was cute. I always thought they were the dumb all american type. I much prefer my men strange. 
And no, many of my girlfriends are much more beautiful than I. Although I will say that I haven’t had any friends who have gone after the same type of guy as I do.
I don’t consciously try to compete with other women (I will readily admit that I feel insecure if that is the case), but I’ve had a lot of women try to compete with me. I initially feel stronger affinities with women than with men, so unless I just get a death vibe from her, I’m always trying to be nice to women around me and make friends. Then if it turns out that she’s a woman who doesn’t like women, it always feels shocking and hurtful somehow.
As for the making uglier friends thing, an advertising company in Israel recently did a disgusting ad campaign for Bacardi aimed at women that was totally exploiting this idea, but it was just shockingly offensive on so many levels. It’s crazy that they think most women operate this way, when actually I’ve met more men who will choose a friend who is uglier and dorkier than they are that they can keep around to feel better about themselves.
used to. tried to avoid it but i ran with a couple who had the same taste which made room for some stupid drama. not that i was innocent, mind you, but i didn’t go out of my way to create it past junior high… whereas some do…
(couple of women)
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I grew up competing with other women in a very subconscious level. As a child, I was often compared to my mother’s friends’ daughters. Though I wasn’t so much “competitive”, I always felt that I had sorely lost the competition already (never mind that I had low self esteem to begin with). In high school, there were a few friends of mine who would go for the guys I liked and this soured my trust in most female friends. This did not stop me from having female friends, but I always felt I was “sub par” compared to my female friends even though later on the women I’ve befrieneded all had different “types” than I do.
In a way, I don’t try to become better than any of my female friends, but the lingering feeling of being “sub-par” is still there. It is more in a sense where I don’t divulge much about my life, in hopes of me not appearing like I am a nobody compared to them. I’m really working on this - but yes… this has always been my “competition” issue against other women.