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The Power Of Love and Friendship: Part 2 - Investing In Others…
Catch up here : The Power of Love and Friendship, Part 1 - Don’t Be Deceived
“I can’t believe you were fat,” whoever it is will say.
“Well I was. I looked like hell. I was with the wrong man, for one thing. And it’s unbelievable what that’ll do to you. I think it nearly killed me. It was completely devastated and so incredibly unhappy.”
“You?” They are always incredulous.
“Yeah. But those days are gone.”
And eventually whoever it is will wander off and I will invariably think of my editor, HQ. Because he is the one who almost single-handedly saved me.
He was deliberate about too. It was not an accidental happening. I don’t know what got him started but I do know at some point he decided I was worthy… of I don’t know what. Help? I guess he decided I could use some help and he decided to offer his.
I don’t think he had an idea what he was getting into when he stepped into this void. I don’t think he could have imagined how deep and how vast it would ultimately become and I suppose it’s irrelevant. Because he made the choice and once he did, he just kept coming.
He just kept showing up in this way, and in that way and in this other way. And he stated his intention, too. He told me exactly what he was up to. He said he was going to just keep showing up, treating me with love and respect in the hope there would be a good result. And when someone does this for you, it starts to change you in ways that are subtle. And this happens over time. A lot of time in many cases.
I think it is common people make the mistake of investing in someone and expecting an immediate return. But it rarely happens that way. People do things their own way in their own time and this was something HQ understood inherently which is pretty impressive considering he was in his 20’s when we met!
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Have you ever consciously decided to help someone get un-stuck? Alternately has someone ever done this for you?
22 Responses to “The Power Of Love and Friendship: Part 2 - Investing In Others…”
Yes and yes. And you’re right. Time must be allowed. Because time is always required.
Yes and yes. Except that I was never as patient as HQ. I may have changed, though. I don’t know.
Yeah, my husband- after he got back for Iraq. It’s been been almost three years and some of the stickiness is JUST starting to wear off.
I just started building these stronger ties with one of my friend and realized how much both of us needed each other. To be there for each other helping out with day today troubles, I guess all both of needed was a listening ear - somebody just to acknowledge my existence.
Yes and yes. Do it without thinking and just put out good energy…being aware of doing with love only. Nothing else.
I’ve never consciously attempted to do that, partly because I’m not really perceptive enough to tell when other people are stuck, or confident enough to think I could help. I’ve been the recipient of a salutary kick in the butt once or twice.
I had to unstick myself - with a big boost from my ex when he decided to leave me - which was the best thing that could have happened to me. I had to stand on my own, and that forced me to grow. But I am in the process of helping a good friend get unstuck right now. Learning to trust again, to love again, is a hard thing when you’ve been deeply hurt, but trust is important and love is essential to life. I can see him growing before my eyes. Whether he turns out to be long term or not, he’s comming out of it - and I am happy for him.
Oh, and when I got divorced, I weighed 225 pounds. I lost 95 pounds about five years ago. You’re right about that, as well. I think the weight loss was the next challenge after going to college and getting a good job that would support me. Now I’m back looking for a relationship - never thought I’d go there again.
A warm congrats and good luck re: all, kathy! You inspire me!!
I did that for someone once.
I hope. I hope that it will someday prove to have been a good thing.
I am doing this right now for the father of my kids. And no noone has ever stepped up and done this for me.
Yes, I was fortunate enough to meet someone at a low point in my life who turned out to be not just my teacher, but also my mentor, colleague and friend. This person stood in my corner time after time and he supported me unconditionally. He was a double Pisces with vision and compassion, and when he found me he brought out the best in me. He has my loyalty and support for life 
Elsa - I love the idea of investing in other people, but am afraid of doing this sometimes because it may appear controlling. After all, if someone is stuck and in a negative place in their life where they refuse help from others, and someone just keeps showing up and giving unsolicited help…won’t they end up feeling controlled and resenting this? I don’t think I would resent it, but everyone is different, and I wonder if some people would find this kind of help unwelcome. Where do you draw the line?
Ha! Same as Kashmiri - met one friend and life slowly changed. Also have cappy moon but that means I give her all the credit and take none for myself.
When I was only 14, I had a friend (with tons of Scorpio energy, of course) invest in me and pull me out of an abyss I though was bottomless. She is still my best friend all these years later, and now she is suffering, and I am investing in her. Also, because of her example, I have made it a point in my life to invest in other people and give what I can. This goes back to what was mentioned on the blog a few weeks, ago, I think, about Scorpios being immensely supportive people.
I was stuck on my own chart for over 30 years despite countless astrological readings, astrology books and websites. Guess who unstuck me? Thank you Elsa!
I have invested alot of time and energy into a number of relationships and I can see the ones that benefited and those that I did not get a good return on….where I should have been doing something else. at least it has made me see the difference in where to invest myself.
The one who invested in me, truly invested in me and really believed in me….is no longer alive, my mother….it may sound corny, but it’s true….in my family, she was my protector against any kind of darkness and pushed me at times when I felt she was wrong or didn’t know what she was talking about….but, she did. And I am not talking about doing stupid stuff in my teens or twenties….I am talking about things I went through in my thirties that changed the course of my life and she knew and would talk to me about it everyday. It’s things you don’t clue into while it’s happening, but later after the dust has settled….and you get a ooohhhhhhh!!!!!
yes both ways, and more than once. I am very grateful for both opportunities.
I think people have tried to get me unstuck and it just hasn’t worked. I feel bad about that, but at this point, maybe it’s just not doable.
yes, but the first one had no patience, and it was pretty awful when he threw his hands in the air and gave up.
there have been others, since, but in smaller, more sustained ways.
i’ve tried to do the same for a couple of people. made a conscious intention. but it really only works if you give up attachment to outcome…..
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Yeah. Someone has done this for me.
I didn’t realize what she was doing for me, because I was so caught up in my own little universe I thought that my ‘unsticking’ happened independantly of any other person’s influence.
I have a Capricorn Moon; I like to think I have a handle on things in this way.