Hm… I haven’t done this or had this done that I know of, but that doesn’t mean much. I gots the Neptune, man!

Well I recall giving my daughter a big ol’ lecture when she was about 10. “Never, ever date a man who does not like women. If he doesn’t like women, he doesn’t like you and you are wasting your time!”

i’ve done this before in the old days. one guy just didn’t like women much - and yeah, i am one, so it counts - and another didn’t like me as i was. he was always trying to reform me or turn me into what he would prefer. both wanted me to loose weight. (didn’t they notice i was fat when we got together? duh!)

i tell my kids this: “Never date somebody’s potential. If you do not love who they are today, then you do not love them.” do they listen? i have no idea. but i try to pass on the message.

lol Goddess! “dating somebody’s potential” - that is a great venus-neptune line. People date, partner, do business, and befriend my potential all the time. I am a walking potential - a mirror. It’s nice at first, then it makes me insecure as I’m constantly trying to reflect (or at least not ruin) whatever it is they think I am. It gets mighty confusing sometimes. I see the potential in others as well, but reality usually inhibits me before I even get started. I have Cap moon- Sag Neptune on my DC.

This has got to be more common than anyone admits. Myself included, until I looked at this video.

My hubby and I are about as opposite as you can get. He’s uptight and I’m hang loose. He hates that I don’t worry about anything. *I* hate that he worries about really stupid stuff. And on and on it goes.

Why did we get together? Opposites attract? I don’t know…

There was a story I told a while back about my BIL, who had a crush on me for many years. His wife, hubby’s sister, blamed the whole thing on his drinking, and now claims to have gotten him off the booze with her love and care and devotion.

Yuck. Seriously.

This is my theory of what happened, and it ties in with the heart of this story. His wife is an uptight (here we go again), neurotic, nervous wreck of a woman. She’s grouchy, sullen, nasty, bitter, and never has anything nice to say about anyone. He was attracted to my carefree ‘tude, and he developed that crush on me. (It didn’t develop into an affair.)

I’m not surprised the mess went down the way it did. With her being the way she is, the last thing I’d call her is introspective. She’d never think her sour personality was part of the problem.

My hubby told me many years ago that he thought their relationship was solely a “business arrangement”. I said, why did you think that? He said, “There’s absolutely nothing attractive about my sister except the fact that she’s a good moneymaker.”

!!!

Maybe this topic is why the divorce rate is so high and there’s so much fighting/estrangement in families?

My point about the BIL, which kind of got lost in my wordiness (sorry!) was that once again, here’s a case of someone getting together with someone they really didn’t like…but the person had something else (hubby said it was the money making ability) they were looking for. And since he really doesn’t LIKE her, well…

I think the trouble for me is this– if it’s one way I like you, if it’s another I don’t. I’m not always sure what the reality is. if you’re a big idiot I like you. if you’re being mean on purpose cos you don’t care, well, I want to slap your face off. unfortunately I can never decide which it is till it’s too late.

AnaBanana– that’s good you’re aware of what’s going on. I also have the cap moon, but leo rising/aquarius dc. I find people are dating my “cool.” unfortunately I’m not actually cool; I’m pretty damned goofy. I’m also pretty heavily neptune.

Goddess - Yes, all the time. I reflect whoever I’m with to a large degree. It’s pretty weird! Not sure if it’s my Gemini rising or my moon-Neptune DC

Satori - lol. I bet they love dating your cool factor. It’s funny when you finally realize what’s happening

This post is also pretty dead-on in friendships, especially the ones we make when younger. Now that I’m 24, I’m finally starting to choose friends I like. I have to admit, I stayed friends with people I didn’t actually like for too long. I just felt guilty or I felt like I had a problem with not liking them because hey- look how nice they are! But I think this takes a lot of strength- to go after people who I like. Courage is the word- I mean, I’m a freakin’ Cancer/Cancer Venus, and rejections stick, so I’ve put up with things also. Not to say that I haven’t had fun times or learned a lot.

This week I “broke up” with a friend after 9 years. We met as teenagers, living a block away from eachother, but in the end we don’t have much in common outside of our spiritual mindsets. And I just exploded on her with a horrible letter because she was too insensitive for me for years. But it’s just recently that I’ve gained awareness to label it for what it is instead of just sitting their fuming, wondering what the hell is wrong with me instead of what two people are doing here.

But anywho, I love being reminded of this simple point that I still am learning to integrate- so cool video and thanks!

I figured this out in a serious relationship once, and it took several long weeks for the reality to REALLY sink in, but once it did-the relationship just had to end. I think those weeks were me thinking in my own head “Am I really seeing what I’m seeing?”

It was really surreal for me because I had been so attached to this need for people to like me and to validate me, but as soon as it really hit me that no matter how many times this guy said “I love you,” everything else in our relationship screamed “I can’t stand you!” As soon as that hit, I was so detached from all of it, including blame and guilt. It was simply over.

I am constantly communicating with people’s potential selves. It’s very frustrating from my end because I treat them like they’re already the most amazing they can be, and then they choose to suck in some way (things they can control). I’ve actually dated a lot of people who didn’t even like who I was. I can’t even feel guilty because I just think they are dumbasses.

I’ve seen this in action many, many times over the years and it always sends shivers down my spine. The mixed messages are usually of a very nasty type.

Had one Scorpio boyfriend in my early twenties who was like this. His Mars-Saturn conjunction in Cancer squared my Sun. He is numero uno on my permanent shit list.