Why People Like Me Don’t Talk: Mourning, Deep Feelings, And Emotional Sophistication
Astrology in real life
I am having myself some kind of time behind the scenes and it must radiate out because several people have mailed me with healing and/or energy restoring and/or clearing remedies.
While I appreciate the sentiment, I am almost as overwhelmed with the idea running down the items of performing all the rituals as I am just left to feel. Don’t get me wrong, I am going to take the advice, I think I need it however I am going to take the advice slowly.
I am not sure there is anything abnormal going on. I am mourning and mourning is mourning. I don’t like to talk because my experience is unique and people don’t listen.
I guess it is easier to project your own experience onto someone then it is to find out what their experience is or perhaps Jacquie Bigar has this figured out. She made a remark last night, “People don’t listen because they don’t care. They don’t care enough to listen…” She may be right.
In whatever case no one should worry too much because I am good at mourning. Not sure how that will parsed but it is true.
If you doubt it, just look at this blog. Look at the quality of the Clearcut astrology or if you have consulted with me privately recently you know I am very keen right now. The reason is because a the edge of a knife is my home.
What I can’t stand is people talking to my hologram during times like this. I mean if we’re going to deal then let’s deal. I am absolutely ready to rock but otherwise most of this stuff is done in the dark. It’s a private, yin process but what prompted me to write this was comment my sister made, “I can’t guess how you feel about that, you’d have to tell me…”
Now that is what I call an emotionally sophisticated person. All I ever here is, “I know how you feel…” or, “You feel like this…” The person doesn’t seem to notice I am staring right through them.
I didn’t tell my sister how I felt by the way. Some feelings don’t have any words, they just want to be left alone.
It’s like the root of tree, I guess. You don’t pull that thing from the ground, clean it up and think you’ve done anyone a favor. No. You leave the root there and let it make it’s way.
Do you care enough to listen when someone talks?
13 Responses to “Why People Like Me Don’t Talk: Mourning, Deep Feelings, And Emotional Sophistication”
I try to, but not always. <:/
For me, if someone just needs to talk so as to give the wound some air, then tell me that first.
If I’m not told that first, then I think I’m supposed to come up with some possible solutions or insightful words.
This in turn affects how well I listen. Just tell me what you need up front.
i try to. sometimes people don’t understand when you try to give them room to be… unparseable and inexplicable. they think you’re being distant or not trying to bond.
sometimes it seems the only kind thing to do is to step back a ways. give people space to feel what they’re feeling without someone else trying to push themselves in on it. let the energy move without trying to stick your own stuff into it….
it really depends on how serious the situation seems. and there are times i’m more oblivious than i would like.
I’m with wyrdling on this one. I try to be there, but when I have too much of my own stuff going on, it’s hard to be a good listener and absorb. Then I often will send a card or personal note…just to let them know I’m thinking about them. Of course, I have the teacher thing going on and lots of Virgo, so I have to be careful not to give advice, and just be there. Sending prayers and love your way Elsa, no assembly required.
Depends on the person.
I believe people try their very best. But our best right now may not be our best a year from now.
I like to think Im listener. Yes mourning is mourning and I hope you get the time to do this in your way without too much more people projecting on you. Do what you have to in the dark and know I’ll still be reading in the meantime <3<3 <3 <3
I work on listening, on being a better listener. I’m aware of some of my patterns that get in the way …such as a tendecy to identify and relate what someone is telling back to me and then start rambling on with my own story. I’ve added another dimension to this exercise of trying to listen better since reading this blog…realizing that what we see may not be who or what someone is.
Mourning can be so personal, so private…
I’m with Skye ….”mourning is mourning and I hope you get the time to do this your way…”
Yes I do. It’s so important.
I listen. I set up my Healing Line for people who wanted someone to listen, no charge. I’ve been told all my life that I am perceptive, a good listener. And I go through my life pretty emotionally naked, first house moon means i have never been able to hide them anyhow. But do people call me? Not much.
And when I walk down a public street of strangers what will they see? Me looking at them through their skin and sometimes freaking them out, sometimes looking frightened. It doesn’t get to the talking stage most of the time. And when it does they many times don’t want to hear what I have to say anyhow.
You are right that people say the easy thing, the trite thing, and don’t really hear you. You are raging about that because of the mourning. There is no prescription for mourning and recovering from that place. It’s very individual.
Total agreement from me! I’ve become an avid “listener” actually, because I discovered how many people don’t listen. What’s even more amazing is how people will drown you with words if you allow them too, without saying anything back. And, once you’ve been established as such, they don’t let you talk.
I’m with Elsa on this one, I keep it to myself. It is deeply personal and nothing anyone says is going to satisfy that deep universal mythical longing to be understood. It’s better to sink into it, feel it and listen to the self.
Thanks for bringing this to light!
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i hope to. i hope every single effing day that i do… because the moment i heard that most people don’t listen and observed it, i was heartbroken. i’m not perfect so i know i suck pretty badly at it. yeah…
even with volunteer organizations where people call in and someone listens, they don’t always truly listen. they sometimes just act like it so that what they hear doesn’t affect them negatively. sad, but it’s understandable. not everyone can handle it.
when you just listen—really listen… you have to be willing to be hollow. almost naked. and…. obviously not many people are willing to let go of their own thoughts in the beginning of a conversation.
sometimes as a friend, you can’t stand to do nothing. busy hands and what not. but listening is doing a lot. it says that you believe the friend can figure it out on their own. you just are there for them. a kind of presence. it’s surprisingly a lot more powerful than advice in some instances.
thanks for bringing this up elsa =]