“I don’t have a specific question, but there are some issues that I have been dealing with on and off for most of my life. I will sometimes get panic attacks out of the blue. I will also get emotionally overwhelmed when I think about my children and the short time we have here together. I want to freeze the moment and be able to revisit at any time, I know this is selfish on my part.

I also have reoccurring fears of death and the hereafter and losing control of myself. I remember when I was little I thought my hands had a life of their own and they would strangle me, weird huh? These are things that I mostly silently deal with I don’t burden or bring this up to others. I believe that other people I know would never think that I am like this, lol.”

The sensitive little thing you are doesn’t get along with all those wild ideas in your head and all those unique actions you’ve been capable of! The little you cries out for peace while the big you thinks big thoughts and has been known to take big action… Find a way to give little you peace and time for herself. Yoga, meditate, or just don’t return all those phone calls for a couple hours a day. Little you and your little ones, all need time to relax and heighten all their senses. Silence is golden, certainly for you. Find some silence, every day.
dig back, dear one, dig backwards, and make peace.
Annalisa

I consider your problem to be primarily Mercurial. You are disturbed by your Mercury-ruled thoughts and the other tip off was the mention of your hands which also happen to be Mercury-ruled. In short your mind has a mind of it’s own and the astrology supports this idea.

First you’re a double Gemini with Mercury in the 1st house (Aries!) which sounds like a racing mind to me. Further, you have Uranus and Pluto in Mercury-ruled Virgo aspecting the Gemini and you see the result. Dark thoughts that come when you least expect it.

Note Uranus and Pluto are in the 4th (family/ security) and you get the idea here - I think we have this figured out. The answer is to quiet the mind and I don’t see this as “optional”. It’s something you’ve got to do.

You have what I’d call a “nervous disposition” and while you are used to it, I think it is disabling you more than you realize. I think Annalisa is on track with her suggestions and I would adopt her ideas immediately but I would also go her one further.

What you have is a form of anxiety and there are drugs that will quell this. They can be taken in very VERY low doses so there are no side effects. The pills last 24 hours and basically just take you down a few rpms so that you’re not plagued in this way.

Imagine being rid of this problem because I think that not only is this possible, the fix is cheap and easy once you know it exists. It’s like toning down a thermostat that is wonky and as far as I am concerned this is akin to wearing corrective lenses when your eyes are jacked.

I am not talking about some hard core psycho-active drug here. I am talking about something low LOW dose to let you live and think and love and feel without being frazzled. If you resolve this one piece it will be a whole new life.

Now for a bit of levity… here’s Falco. He is a visual representation of your mind. I hope he inspires.

The idea is to stop hiding the way your mind works. Instead make it BIGGER and put it out in the open so that something can come and be done about this… hydra in your life.

Much love and good luck and oh yeah. You’re not selfish. I know this because real selfish people never think they are selfish, they think they are wonderful.

pic by satori:

Comments welcome.

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