Dear Elsa,

I have a friend who has already decided I am her BFF. She constantly calls and talks without taking a breath from subject to subject telling me things that I never asked her to go in to detail about. Ex. She told me she watched a movie last night and then proceeded to tell me all about in detail. I don’t recall asking her what the movie was or what it was about. I really didn’t care but she seems oblivious to normal social signals.

That last straw was when we were at a wine tasting and two guys sat with us because there was no other seating. We had a nice time but she constantly interrupted anyone who was talking before they even got three words out of their mouth and proceeded to tell all kinds of things about herself and most horrifyingly ME!

So there’s two problems:
1. Her constant motor mouth and clinging (I don’t think she knows the difference between me and her)
2. she gives out my personal stuff that I’ve shared with her to people in front of me and its very uncomfortable.

The weird thing is that she had her dog die recently and was depressed and felt like she had a virus. I then came down with the same symptoms and felt like I needed to care for her. I started to realize
that maybe I was picking up on her physical state as well as mental. I realized then I needed space to protect myself!

What to do - Thanks,
Exhausted
Korea

Hey Exhausted, you see two problems (hers) and I see one problem (yours). Your problem is a lack of boundaries and if you resolve this, her problems will no longer be your problems.

The gal is a pain, you don’t like her, she sounds insufferable so why not get rid of her? There must be a reason. A reason such as focusing and finding fault with her lets you neatly avoid problems of your own?

I am not trying to be mean. Fact is you are sensitive but it is up to you to defend yourself by paying mind who you run with. If a person leaves you feeling sick, this can be taken a a cue to break ties and I think what you might need more than anything else is permission to do exactly this.

You’ve got Libra (wants to be nice, polite and fair) and you are empathetic you probably don’t want to act too hastily. Saturn in aspect to Mars also suggests this but it also makes it plain it is your responsibility (Saturn) to act (Mars) to sever (Mars) and if you are not willing to do this, you’ve got room to complain.

Some might think this is harsh but I don’t.  You are in your mid 40’s and high time you get a handle on this. I’ve been concise in the hope that it helps you do exactly that.

Bottom line, there is no reason to hang around people you don’t like and if you do choose to hang around them, then there is no reason to complain.

Click to see the chart full-size
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