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Follow Up On “How To Attract A Satisfying Love Relationship” - Is It Simple?
Astrology in Real Life…
Charlotte writes on How To Attract A Satisfying Love Relationship - Venus!
“I really wish it were that easy.”
Charlotte - I don’t know that it’s simple, but I know if you put your resume out there you’re going to find someone who is looking for a resume. And if you put another person’s resume out there, that’s even worse. It seems to me you have to put your SELF out there, take a chance.
Jerry Riopelle writes:
“Check my hat and cane
Check out the way I dance
But don’t you walk my way,
‘less you’re gonna take a chance…”
You have to take a leap of faith if you are ever to find someone who will love you like a human being. As long as you are trying to craft a persona, create a fa§ade, or copy someone else or become an ideal… well this is just not attractive beyond the superficial.
In other words, you may be fat (lots of suitors) but you’ll still be starving. If you want to get fed, really fed I see no option but to show yourself in all your quirky glory so you have a chance to be recognized / identified by the person in this world who really suits you. And this is not for everyone of course.
For example, when I was young I had no interest whatsoever in finding a suitable partner. I wanted to have fun, sex, experience… but most people eventually really want to find meaningful connection and that’s when this other stuff becomes paramount. So really I am writing for the people who are 30, 40, 50… or 20 but already know they want to partner in the hopes of saving them some time. Saturn in Virgo, see?
“Don’t waste your time… being a lady.” Riopelle wrote that too. That was some good advice (for the likes of me). I was lucky enough to hear this stuff when I was a teenager, consequently I swung motorcycle helmets at people and distinguished myself.
Most people are taught and told to be perversions of themselves in order to snag someone and I think this is a set up for disappointment and various other sundries, none of them good. We have astrology though! A nifty way to untangle the knots.
What is quirky / attractive about you?
29 Responses to “Follow Up On “How To Attract A Satisfying Love Relationship” - Is It Simple?”
I think the initial attraction (physical & persona qualities–which to me are more superficial) that you have with someone is different than long term attraction, which can include the physical, persona and internal qualities (character, values, personality, integrity)…
I have my Venus in Aquarius (whew!) and I know that I am a complex individual…there is no meat and potatoes about me…and people who love me need to know that! 
It’s so important to know yourself and make sure you are projecting who you are and not what you think other’s want to see in you! Be authentic!
What about venus on an anaretic degree? Anyone else with this one out there? Mine is gemini conjunct moon, so emo erratic?? I wish it were in one sign or the other….
Best to everyone!!
xox
i think the old but undervalued “be yourself” is not only EXCELLENT advice in attracting a mate, but it’s absolutely the only advice that works, if you want somebody who loves you, and not your facade. it’s exactly that easy. and if your truest expression of who you are does not attract suitor X, then suitor X should become suitor EX, because they aren’t really for you.
the secret, to me, is working on yourself, learning how to express your own energy in the most positive ways you can, and not being afraid of being rejected for it, because if you are, then the rejector is not a good match for you. a good match with cherish and compliment who you are…
Exactly what goddess said. There is no other way to attract viable partners than to be your authentic self . . . NONE! I just spend time talking to a dear friend about this very thing. She has a guy hot for her & is uncomfortable about the situation moving too fast. Told her just be direct with him - and meet in public venues that encourage conversation rather than jumping each others bones. 
oh . . . Venus in Sagittarius in the 1st.
my brain
or my dancing
or my hair (very long, curly, whatever)
but dancing gets me a lot of attention i don’t want.
it was worse when i dyed my hair red. advertising the aries doesn’t work well with the reserve of a virgo ascendent. because then i didn’t want to talk to anyone because most of what came my way was drunk idiots and i didn’t have the refinement to actually figure out which ones were worth pursuing. so i just went introverted.
but mostly, i don’t really know. i’m sure there must be something because i still get attention. always wanted someone to try to explain it to me but people tend to think i’m looking for flattery and that just isn’t useful information. and telling me i’m “beautiful” is meaningless unless one can say why they think so.
is that bitchy of me? to treat compliments that way?
It makes sense. With Venus in Scorpio, it wouldn’t be wise of me to become all chatty and crazy and becoming an amazon woman or a sort of a housewife.
I am naturally enigmatic, quiet and I do look a bit sullen sometimes, lost in deep thoughts and that’s what’s attractive about me (I hope!) lol
Wow, I feel special! I definitely agree with you but I also have to wonder, after how many years of “being yourself” and being alone in spite of it do you finally give up and decide it’s not them, it’s you?
Don’t listen to me though, I have Saturn in unfortunate places!
The nicest compliment I ever received was from someone who stopped mid-sentence to say ‘Wow, I really feel like I’m being listened to right now.’
Then I said “That’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever had!”
You know what? The f***er didn’t believe me! I get that though: people accuse me of lying or hiding something when I’m not.
Hm maybe that’s my quirkiness that attracts?
I have heard that changing yourself with plastic surgery actually changes the energy (chi) flow around you (especially your nose)and can cause odd and strange side effects to your health and personality! I have venus capricorn as well as sun and mercury. We are supposed to be first in line for a lift and tuck, but not me. I may not embrace my wrinkles but I wouldn’t trade a day of experience for them!
…i’m cheerful, energetic, and have many sides…and that seems to keep people interested 
i agree that being yourself is the best but charlotte brings up a good point. our negatives have to change before we get love sometimes. as well, what if you are compatible but are not attracted to most of those who are attracted to you?? it’s never been so simple for me, but i have saturn in unfortunate places too!
Wyrdling, if it’s rude to treat compliments that way then I’m in the bitchy boat with you! I would much rather have someone constructively tell me something unflattering but true than give me useless, pleasant to the ear info. This Leo does not want your flattery!
As for the topic at hand, sometimes I feel like nothing more than a big ball of quirks with no base, rolling endlessly through the same schmutz. Which one(s) of these is my ~attractive~ quirk(s), though, I have no clue. Like wyrdling said, I’m surrounded by people that can’t give me the info I want/need in a way I can process. Gah.
Everything. I am a true character. I can also be whatever people want to project on me. Neptune conjunct ASC.
I’ve got lots of quirky, but not much attractive, apparently.
On a related note, I should probably refrain from reading (or at least commenting on) blogs when I have forgotten to take my anti-depressant a couple of days in the last week.
I have pluto and uranus in the 7H so anyone I meet I tend to have an overwhelming feeling of, ‘oh my god!’ when I first meet them, touch them or smell them. That’s how it is for me. Ie., when my current SO walked me to my car when we first met, he put his hand on my back gently and I felt electricity emanate from that touch…it went all through me. Uranian like.
As for what I put out there with my venus, it’s in gemini at 29 degrees, so I am all over the place. It’s gotta be someone into that to be attracted to me.
Rhonda, Thanks for the blog about plastic surgery. IT is so prevalent and I do think it changes ones personality. A couple of older women had there face done a couple years ago. Well I have Venus capricorn, and let my say, have not had the best self esteem around “facial” sounds funny…lol issues. the thing is is that there is nothing wrong with the way i look. And as for older women I think they are so much more beautiful when they go all natural. Its weird how you can totally think you know someone and then overnight they can change so much both physically and personally.
Hmm, this one bugs me more and more as I get older (I’m 39). I am myself, and can’t be otherwise (Pisces with Pisces rising). I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time. Those I am attracted to look, but then aren’t into me, so to speak. I have venus directly conjuct saturn, so I’m cursing my fate as I get older and older.
On the other hand, I’ve at times learned to appreciate what I DO have, which seems to be more peace than some of my friends in relationships.
To answer the question this post posits: I have no clue!
(Venus in the 12th/pisces on descendent/and more!)
I do have venus in leo though so my hair has always been commented on, found attractive– but who cares about that? Seems silly–
But as for what a potential partner would find attractive? I have no clue
Despite my own worrying/anxious/intense nature, I seem to make others feel grounded. Friends seem to feel this…..
I can only relay what others say is attractive about me. They think it’s great that they always know where they stand with me. Quirky would be the fact that I love sports (I watch ESPN everyday) and western movies. Men go OMG you love westerns too?! LOL
Lupa — ROFL. normal, around here??
Charlotte - you don’t give up. You decide what kind of person you want to be and what kind of life you want to live and you go and get that. Being tied up in pain waiting for a partner is crap and no fun. (sez another woman with saturn in unfortunate aspects)
In my mid/late 20’s I struggled with that as all of my (younger than me) cousins were marrying or getting engaged and all of my girlfriends from school were married and starting to have kids.
What did it for me was talking to my aunts and a number of older women who were sad that they never did x, y, z before marrying. Often they wanted to travel or go to school or something that took enormous amounts of time or energy away from the family/children choice. They were horribly jealous that I had done some of the things I already had done and then I realized that every life path is different.
I could sit around mourning the lack of a relationship or I could see it as an opportunity to travel - which I did, again (and love the view of the world through other cultures)
When I came back to the country I was still sans-relationship and saddened by it but then realized I could follow my dream of building my own home. Which I did.
I am odd in so many ways I cannot count. The primary ones would be a lack of “typical” feminine interests/traits in today’s society. And I’m pretty darned intense - emotionally and mentally.
And for all of the women who are wondering “how will I find someone who wants me for me” I have a NUMBER of guy friends in their 30s and 40s wondering similar things. How am I going to find a woman who doesn’t just see me as a meal ticket or a father to her two kids? How am I going to find a woman who wants me for me. These friends ask me. I tell them much the same thing.
That doesn’t necessarily make the waiting any easier as our society is geared towards partnership.
ahh spam filter ate my comment. Must be my stubborn mind fighting the gods today
Take your meds Becca it’s good for you
(Please excuse my Yenta-like comments)
My Saturn conjunct Venus in Aries has been, what seems to me, to be my primary stumbling ground in life both for relationships and money…
Going back to Elsa’s first podcast on Venus; when I was in my 20’s, I was carrying around a little more weight than my friends, and dressed a little ‘frumpier’. I remember them telling me I needed to change myself, and I told them that I just wanted someone who wanted to be there for ‘me’, not for some chameleon act I was putting on…
Fast-forward through my 30’s where I didn’t really have a significant relationship (but many good friends). Just like mud above, I went after the life I wanted to live, traveled alot, was a bit saddened by not having a love relationship, but still followed my own path and wouldn’t change a thing.
Now, I’ve just turned 40. I’ve found a guy who likes me for me. It’s unexpected and the only way to be. Strange, too, though, since I’ve read for years and years about how Saturn conjunct Venus people don’t find love until after 40. No telling how it will turn out, but the ONLY way to attract someone who is right for you is to be your authentic self. And in the meantime you are living the life that is right for you and only you.
mudlike what you wrote was great. I think my most attractive traits are that I’m a very loving partner (and friend) and I can have a conversation with anyone.
elsa gave a podcast..?
oh,okay. I was like, jeez I missed that? that’d be cool!
I remember the interactive TV. I was at work and missed it. And how fabulous are the boards???
kashmiri - thanks. Often times I don’t know if my words are making sense to other humans. (I think cats and dogs understand me better)
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Hiya,
Venus in Scorpio again….i’d have to say my mind! Although i’m a good-looking girl, I value my brain and quirky sense of humour above all else.
(Great advice by the way!)
Blessings…..