Regarding the blog about using astrology to filter people, born from the advice blog for this gal having trouble in relationships, Marly asked (in 2006):

“… So, anyone whose Saturn aspects your personal planets should be avoided? Even the “good” aspects such as sextiles or trines? Also, what about people whose Saturn falls on your 5th, 7th or 11th house?”

I wanted to respond.

First, I don’t think it is possible to avoid all these people! It would just not be feasible. In the case of the original gal I was writing for…well her case was extreme. And what I was trying to acknowledge that and then offer some help as to how to ease her challenge.

But does it apply to everyone? No! That would be like telling non-alcoholics they should stay 3 blocks away from liquor of any kind! Why should they do that? It makes no sense.

Now in my case… in the scenario I outlined, I was talking about trolling on Match.com - that is looking for a partner. Looking for a primary relationship, I mean. In that case, I absolutely would not want someone with their Saturn in bad aspect to my Sun and Moon. Because think about it.

If I hook up with someone who constantly chastises me, not only am I hooked up with someone who constantly chastises me but I am NOT hooked up with someone who doesn’t! Get it? I could be sitting with some guy laughing my ass off, but instead I’m going to choose a man who’s got problem on top of problem with me and I don’t what to say besides that ain’t gonna happen!

So this is what I’ve learned after all these years of astrology, but fact is you don’t need astrology at all. People learn to do this for themselves eventually anyway. There comes a point in your life where you just don’t want to push a truck up a hill every day. So you learn one way or the other, to spot trouble coming and get the hell out of it’s way. And this gal?

Well she sounded sincere to me. She said she was working on her problem, and she really does have a huge challenge. So I was trying to fast-forward her, if you know what I mean. I thought she could benefit by limiting her exposure to irritants, and because of the way her chart was set up…well this seemed a good start.

But it’s really much larger. Because if she did decided to box out this hard core group of people who mess her up…what would happen?

Well, I think there would be immediate relief. “Ah…I don’t have to deal with that anymore…” And this would leave her in a good place, pointed in a good direction.

It would leave her primed to make another good decision and then another and next thing you know, she’s living a life that is full of people she loves, who love her.

But that’ll never happen if she can’t get a handle on herself. If she can’t get sober, you could say. So this is where I aimed and why. I imagined her with a heavy load. I meant to take the worst brick, the heaviest most burdensome piece and toss it over a cliff for her. And I think this is good advice for anyone bogged down.

But if you’re not bogged down…well then you may be flighty as hell! I don’t know. Or your parents might have told you everything you did, all the time was perfect and great and now you’re insufferable.

In cases like these, you could probably use some Saturn types to slow you down, ground you, offer you a reality check. But this gal is already humble, you know? She already knows it’s her problem. But she was having trouble effecting a change, so I tried to give her a leg up…which is what I do here.

For the record, my natal Saturn is in easy aspect to her stellium in Virgo. I imagined she might initially feel hurt by the blog, but ultimately supported and accepting this, I hit “publish”.
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pictured: Melancholy c. 1620, Domenico Feti, Oil on canvas, 168 x 128 cm