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Are Some Behaviors So Deeply Rooted A Person Is Powerless to Change Them?
Astrology in real life
Today a gal I know discovered the deep root of her pathology and along with it and as an aside she uncovered the origin of the behavior of some of the other people in her life.
For example she could look back at her first marriage and see they she was doing one thing for one reason and her husband was doing another thing for another reason.
The stuff she caught onto was very deep. It was at a level that would change her paradigm forever and it quickly shook something loose in me.
“There is no sense telling someone something like that,” I said without a split second of thought.
She asked what I meant.
“They will never be able to change it,” I said. “It’s just too deep. It would be like getting the Italian out of me, I don’t think it’s possible. There are patterns of behavior that are just too ingrained for example I am always going to sit around a table, mouth off and eat. You can tell me it’s not right or polite and I might even agree with you but I am still going to do it. The behaviors and thought patterns, the rules of my culture are just too deeply embedded.”
I mention this because people so frequently try to fix people or change them. We all know this is impossible but what I am suggesting is there are some things the person themselves are powerless to change. In a chart this would be shown by the Moon.
Can you name something about you that is absolutely HARD WIRED? Where is your Moon?
26 Responses to “Are Some Behaviors So Deeply Rooted A Person Is Powerless to Change Them?”
My Moon is in Aquarius, and despite living a very vanilla life — everything I do must be *my* choice, I must have the freedom to make my own choices, or…well, I don’t know what the ‘or’ is because I’ve always lived this way. I am a Libra, though, so I’m diplomatic. I can smile on the surface and not say anything about how very much I disagree with what someone is saying, but inside I know that I’m hard-wired to do it my way. Though I am open to changing my opinion, though that change will only come about through my own choice to change it, and not through any kind of force from another person or a religion. Meaning, the more forcefully it is presented, the less likely I am to consider the point of view. I am no hammer’s nail. Never, ever, ever a hammer’s nail.
So, while I live in a very vanilla and even common way, I am a rebel in my heart, and my choice to live a vanilla life is my very own, and not something forced on me by others.
I hope that makes some kind of sense. I’m feeling like I’m really not eloquent today.
I guard my security to the point of paranoia. Cappy Moon 2nd house.
Scorpio Moon in the 4th house. Hermit!
Rkkggg that was very eloquent. and it reminded me how much i love aquarian energy.
This is a really deep observation. The first thought that popped into my mind though was “what do you mean by ‘no sense’?” It may very well be something that the person could never change. But if it’s a pattern that is giving a person pain or grief, wouldn’t it be valuable just to KNOW? I have a xx Moon therefore I will always xx? Just to help them accept their whole being? Definitely makes no sense for your client to tell the other person as a means of changing them, totally agree there. Just wanna make sure I understand.
You know me, thus you know I believe we can change/transform our behavior.
Our behavior is only the/our reaction to some profound root in each of us.
We can choose to respond rather than react once we understand the root. It can take years to put a halt to the reaction, as I have done it, but it is challenging and most worthwhile.
As for others, no one can change anyone, so getting into “bullshit’ like this is a waste of our own power and energy. The only way I have seen change in the other party is 1) they wanted to change 2) total acceptance as they are. Only then can someone even look at themself.
Let me put it this way Elsa, you could opt to change your Italian dinner habits (LOL) but you enjoy it…so why do it? I like my French meal habits of wine at a meal, even if someone in this society judge I have a drinking problem because I cannot imagine having a wonderful meal without a glass of wine! But that is choice. I do
Cap Moon 2nd house = having elegant things around me just makes me feel better.
“But if it’s a pattern that is giving a person pain or grief, wouldn’t it be valuable just to KNOW?”
Maybe but they’re not asking.
“Hey dude, this is your ex-wife. I thought you might like to know what your problem is…”
Keeping myself intact when people try to smother me. I have to. I have an Aries moon, but I’ve been accused of being flaky or heartless. Truth is, I have to do stuff on my own so I won’t disappear.
Yeah, okay, I get it. It has to be the person WANTING to change who asks. Makes sense.
And on that note, I will say that what is hard-wired in me is to always ask WHY? It doesn’t matter what the tenor of the situation is, hard or soft or happy or sorrowful, I will ask “why?” because I am looking for information.
12th house Gemini Moon.
(Two other small Moon things I will probably never be able to change: twirling my hair in times of heavy thinking or emotional stress, and patting someone on the back when I hug them. Both things have annoyed people I know, but they are so 12th house Gemini moon and so unconscious that I doubt I’ll ever remember not to do it in order to please the person who doesn’t like it (as my Libra would wish.))
I must add, I do try to be polite (Libra). Sometimes I may just think “why?” instead of saying it. But if there is a quizzical look on my face, there’s a reason. 
Hell yes– emotional intensity: that moon pluto in the first in virgo. I can work on being less self-critical or work on being less obsessive (maybe) but oh man….people often just don’t get me and I don’t get their detatchment.
Bella–I have moon in Cappy in 2nd too, but I also have Neptune there, so I end up feeling undeserving when I have elegant things around me, lol.
Hardwired for me is sensitivity, or emotional intensity, as moonpluto said.
jessica my friend who has a 12th house taurus moon is an obsessive hair-twirler!
This is too freaky….just 10 minutes ago I was on the phone with my husband and we were arguing about my visit with my sister which did not go well, as it rarely does, and this was my very point, that I will never change her (she can very mean and hurtful) and unless I do something different, the dynamics will always be the same.
So, basically we were arguing because I wanted him to tell me that it was okay to tell her off, because my nice Libra moon won’t allow my strong Cap Sun to tell her off, but it didn’t work because he is a Gem moon and he was trying to reason with me and analyze the situation….and I could see his point of view…(there goes Libra again), and so I end up so frustrated, but I want to do the right thing.
This is all so fresh, so I don’t know if this makes sense at all….
One of my exes was a Gemini hair-twirler. Kinda funny when a man does it.
Being curious and different. Aquarius moon 9th house.
Moon in Scorpio, 1st house - I don’t know. Being overly suspicious of other’s motivations, I suppose. Needing to protect myself - also not being able to hide my emotions (if I think you are an ass, you know it). Going to think about this some more.
Another Moon in Scorpio, also 1st house. Hard-wired to feel everything and I mean everything. Whether I want to or not, it’s going to be intense too so when that happens I head home to my batcave and feel things in private.
This is such an interesting and well-timed post. A friend I know is having similar distress today. He is a Taurus with a Pisces Moon, Leo rising. He is repeating a pattern in his life with regard to love relationships and unhealthy, destructive behaviors, where he violently destroys, insults, feels guilty and wretched, seeks forgiveness. He wants to run away to India because he has embarrassed himself with people at work, and a woman whom he loves/is infatuated with (also at work), and her boyfriend, whom he considers scum and told him so, with racial overtones for garnish.
After talking, he realized he has put himself in the exact same situations all his life. And he has always done the same thing: run away to another land, only to land in the same spot some years later. He even has a favorite book, high brow fiction, that spells it out play by play.
Today was seriously a day of pattern revelation and recognition, for better or worse, with respect to the way we act/behave (Aries) and relate to others (full moon in Libra). It is interesting to hear that your friend was going through a similar shift and realization today, and that you were, too.
Came to this blog bc I began to wonder if certain signs need comforting in different ways, if the revelation of the truth takes different forms for different signs, if they need to absorb the truth in different ways. I’m full of libra, so perhaps spend too much thought on what should just be blurted out. But in the case of my Taurus friend, I wonder if there is a way to help him see this truth more clearly and its implications (ie, if he runs away now he’ll just be back in the same spot, or worse, a few months/years later), or if, as your blog says, there is just no telling him this if he isn’t ready to hear and see. I think this is ultimately true, but I’m also wondering about how best to ease the suffering of particular signs. Its hard to watch friends in pain, but (sigh) necessary if these old roots are to be pulled up.
independence.
anti-authoritarianism.
very much familial inheritances, the both of them.
My Sag moon in the first house trine Uranus in the ninth is always looking for and mostly finds the bright side.
Aquarius moon in the sixth house. I want to work on it, privately, and independently. What’s it? All of it. There’s no telling me what to do either.
Moon in Cancer located in the 8th house trining Pluto! Hmmm…Obsessive?Observer?Secretive? HAHA reminds me of a story…
So I’m at this Astrology Lecture/class for Astrologers and we all introduce ourselves with a little about our chart. Astrologer’s stand up and everyone Ooo’s and ahhh’s over each others chart,people with Capricorn Suns with Moon in Pisces blah blah blah…I stand up and tell them my Scorpio Sun,Scorpio Rising,Moon in Cancer in 8th house trining Pluto in scorpio in 12th house. I got the dirtiest looks ever, that classroom was so quiet I could hear peoples thoughts! My friend who is an intuitive astrologer tries not to laugh and i just sit my ass down. Then the Ooo’s and Ahhh’s continue for everyone else. LOL
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