Also from 2003… Conversation with Jaime early in the relationship. Now keep in mind I grew playing cards like a bat out of hell. I was 19 here. Been living in town for 4 years…

“Do you play cards, honey?” he asked.

“What kind of cards?” I asked.

“Any cards. Poker, spades, hearts, whatever.”

“Yeah. I know those games.”

“Really?” He was surprised and happy. “Because my friends like to play cards. We play a lot of cards. There is a regular game so do you think that you would like to go?”

“Go play cards?” I chuckled. “Sure!”

“Okay, honey. I’ll tell the boys to take it easy on you, okay?”

“Okay, Jaime because I don’t want to get my ass kicked.”

He laughed. “Well, they aren’t going to let you win or anything.”

“I know, I know. Just hopefully I won’t get up from the table too bloody, but yeah. I want to play. I am pretty sure I remember how,” I said.

“Well we’ll probably play some poker. I’ll write the order of the hands down for you, okay?”

“Okay, Jaime. That would be good. Thanks.”
~~
~~
3 months later, we’re on the way to a game. I beat the living shit out of everyone, always.

“Now please, Elsa. If you wind up winning which I know you probably will, could you try be nice about it? You don’t have to take every pot. Maybe let them win some of their money back. Leave ‘em with some dignity and for Godsakes, don’t do what you did last time.”

“What? What did I do last time? Clean them out? Crap, Jaime that is what cards is for. I can’t believe you want me to be a loser. They have just as good a chance to win as I do. I just learned this game,” I said, smiling.

“Oh God, listen to you.”

“Oh come on. I’m just having fun. Banter is part of the game. What are we supposed to do? Play in stone silence? What fun is that?”

“Just be polite, Elsa.”

“Polite? I am polite.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes I am! What do you mean? I say please. I say thank you. We’re bringing beer!” I said as if nothing more could or should be asked.

“Never mind. Just try not to call anyone a sucker tonight, okay?”

I laughed and leaned over and kissed him. “Okay. Okay, Jaime, but I am still going to kick their ass.”

“I don’t know. K plays pretty well, and he’s been hot lately.”

“K? Well he plays the best, I’ll admit that but he’s still a SUCKER!”

He turned and looked at me. “The mouth on you. I can’t believe your mouth, Elsa. Come here,” he said, giving me a kiss.

“Okay Jaime. I’ll be good, okay? I will try,” I said, pretending to zip my mouth. “You know, I don’t even care if we go. I’d just as soon go home and knock one off. And furthermore you worry too much. I take their money paying cards and then what? Next weekend, they come over to our place and win it back playing horseshoes. I can’t play horseshoes worth a damn.”

“Yeah, you’re pretty bad.”

“See? So just let me have fun playing cards, okay?”

“Okay, honey. Just try not to call anyone a sucker tonight. If you can do that, I’ll be happy. Especially the women,” he added.

“Well the women especially play like suckers.”

“I know, but don’t tell them that or they’re not going to like you.”

On that I shut up, turned towards the front and stared at the road ahead. I wanted to be liked but it was simply beyond my comprehension why someone would not like someone who loves to play cards, tells jokes and brings the beer. Was I supposed to be stupider? Play bad? Less funny? Whaaaat?

I decided not to ask, Jaime because I gave him enough trouble as it was but jeez what a puzzle.

I am still not clear on this to this day, but I have quit playing cards because of it. I just can’t see playing handicapped is all. It’s as if being civilized is too high a price / not worth the trouble and that right there is MARS. So maybe you see the duality here.

I don’t want to play in a POLITE game when the game is supposed to be competitive.
I also don’t want anything to do with competitiveness in situations that are supposed to be social for example i.e. invitations to lunch (tirade in comments here)

I satisfy this by saying, “no thank you” to both scenarios which is of course - polite.