Elsa P: Far More Secretive Than She Realized
Astrology in real life
I made that video about Scorpio and trust today and I made a second video on a similar topic for tomorrow. I intended to make a third video, but after 3 or 4 stabs at it (Mars Mercury pun), I gave up. I realized I just didn’t want to tell you guys this stuff. ::laughs::
That may seem ridiculous, as so much of my personal life that is broadcast on this blog but fact is from my perspective, I never reveal anything that is actually significant. If that seems impossible, it’s not, it’s true.
I was prompted to make the videos today because behind the scenes, I have this pal who I email. I have been emailing her for months, I enjoy her enormously. We both work tremendously hard and she’s quipped she feels I am working in the cubicle next to hers.
Most of our conversation is centered around subjects that are taboo for Capricorns. For example if we are privately gloomy you’d not broadcast this at your job as people are relying on you. We see eye to eye on stuff…some of the stuff is not popular and recently I realized I trusted her.
Prior to the realization this fact was residing somewhere in my subconscious and I was quite shocked when it became conscious. I realized in the time I have known her and all the emails we’ve exchanged, I’d not once told her anything significant. I’d not confided in her, see? Not at all.
I thought this pretty strange since I consider her a good friend so I decided to write and tell her something. “I’ve not mentioned it before but as a matter of fact, blah, blah, blah…”
She’s very sharp but I told her something she could not have guessed or come up with in any way shape or form if she had a million years to try and I was struck by this. Apparently I am so secretive, I can have a person I consider TOTAL inner circle and still confide not-a-thing.
I am not exactly proud of this by the way. I have just found out I am entirely capable of having my hologram interact with you ten times a day for six months or more.
I could do it indefinitely probably and I am sure I have developed this defense because of writing this blog. Not a day goes by I am not targeted for something, see? I get betrayed by someone who reads my blog at least once a week so I guess I figure it it’s just a matter of time *whoever* turns on me.
I don’t really think that is the case. Some will never turn but who is who does not reveal for at least a year in my experience. That’s a long probation but if you write a blog like mine it’s necessary because if I didn’t have people stabbing my hologram, I’d been killed long ago.
Are you secretive? Are you more aware of it after reading this post? What is your Scorpio / 8th house factor?
27 Responses to “Elsa P: Far More Secretive Than She Realized”
scorpio mars, planets in the 8th aspecting pluto.
I’m secretive but I try to be open sometimes as I dearly want to be known and loved for who I really am… not by a crowd or anything, just, you know, at ALL.
I don’t think anyone knows me. There is my work side, church side, family side, friend side. They are all authentic fragments, they are just not the complete picture.
Hmmm that’s hard to read.
Pluto conjunct moon. Neptune in Scorpio.
Hmm.
Well, maybe.
But wait! There’s a lot there, so even if I put out a lot, I still keep a lot.
Capisce? (hehehehe…)
“Capisce?”
Yes! what winds up on this blog is stuff I don’t mind the whole world knowing which is obviously going to be a very small percentage of what there is. :0
Elsa….this is interesting to me because I feel I am a pretty open person…I probably reveal more than I should. But, what struck me about what you wrote is that I have a good friend at work….she is one of my closest friends today…we talk about alot of stuff and have for almost 8 years. From day one we have been sitting next to each other in the courtrooms and whispering back and forth about our families, our backgrounds, etc….our friendship grew.
One day, out of the blue..almost 5 years into our friendship….in the middle of a session, she turns to me and whispers that her husband is an alchoholic and she cannot take it any longer. I was stunned and moved at the same time and I remember saying to her,”you have been living with this and you are just now getting around to letting me know the pain you have been suffering”….and she said she was so afraid to tell me any of the real stuff because she was afraid I would leave her…or think differently of her….and here I had told her all about my crazy, messed up experiences and I could not believe that she still had not trusted me or that it took her so long to feel that she could. She is Scorpio Sun,mercury, neptune…alot of aspects to seventh and eighth houses….
From that day forward…we bonded…she let me in on it all….I felt like I met another person…one I liked and admired even more… I apologize for being long-winded in this, but it was the feeling that I had of thinking we were so close, but I only really knew a little of who she really was.
After reading some astrology and looking at our charts…my neptune in 3 house connects her neptune in the 7 house……
Scorpio rising, so I love to be secretive. ASC conjunct Neptune, so I hide behind whatever projection people read on me, so they don’t realize how secretive I actually am. It’s a good set up.
Yes to the second question. I hide a lot of things, but didn’t realize it until I felt like I could have written part of that post. I’ve got Neptune in the 8th house, but only Uranus in Scorpio, which is in my 7th. So not much to do with Scorpio really, although Sun/Mercury exactly square to Pluto.
Stephanie - LOL.
“I hide behind whatever projection people read on me, so they don’t realize how secretive I actually am”
I do this too, mostly because it’s just too easy. I let people decide who I am, then I play along. Which of course leads to the condition Tam described above.
Very secretive. I have no planets in the 8th, but have that Scorp Rising, Neptune Conjunct, Scorp Moon in 1st house. I relate very much to being close to someone, and still, not spilling the real beans. Try as I might, giving out intimate information just feels like handing out ammo, which can be used against me at any point in time. Oh well………
Yes, apparently I have secrets from myself. No, not this post in particular because I’ve learned so much from the entire site; however this post compelled me to respond. Merc/mars aq [8th] opp pl leo [2nd].
I’ve read your site for quite awhile but have rarely commented because I don’t comment anywhere. That’s just me. Following your site has been more than helpful to me and I am saddened that you are abused and attacked for providing what, to me, has been precious. Your bravery is commendable and I know I’m not the only one who is sincerely grateful for what you’ve done for us.
I have realized as of late I am secretive via. omission. I become resolutely frozen…unable to talk about something. I couldn’t tell my family when I was mugged, for example. It was like talking about it made it real.
I relate this to how I was conditioned as a child. My mother never told me my grandmother died until 4 months after the fact, claiming she forgot. (Well, she has Mercury in Pisces so I guess it’s possible!)
Most recently I found out my uncle who I am very close to fell and broke his hip and leg and has been hospitalized for 5 weeks. Again, he forbade my cousins from telling my parents or us cousins…My Dad was pissed off, but HE HIMSELF forbade us from telling THAT side of the family he had a heart attack! My dad’s Mercury is in Scorpio.
Anyway. Great topic. I’m trying not to be so secretive. Because in my world it isn’t really secret keeping…it’s denial in the highest order that if you speak about it, it becomes real.
I am very secretive/private. I mean, i don’t have anything to hide, and i’m not planning some scheme to take over the world, but i just like to have my privacy. sometimes i like to be secretive for the sake of it. If someone tries to probe me, I would absolutely refuse to spill anything (which sometimes results in me coming across as “fishy” or “up to no good”) when there isn’t even anything to hide lol.
I know these girls who just shares everything with others. Like they are constantly talking to themselves out loud. Can’t stand that, cuz it’s pretty exhausting to be around them, it’s like they suck my energy outta me. (but secretly wish i was more like that) haha.
I have a scorpio stellium (venus mercury pluto) and a sag stellium (moon uranus saturn)
“I am very secretive/private. I mean, i don’t have anything to hide, and i’m not planning some scheme to take over the world, but i just like to have my privacy. sometimes i like to be secretive for the sake of it.”
hey, this sounds exactly like me. I’m pisces, scorpio rising, scorpio moon (1st) and uranus (12). Because I reveal so little about myself, people who don’t know me well see me as smug, self-important, haughty. They are so off the right track, and I’m not even trying to convince them otherwise.I even enjoy it, in a way.
I’ve got Capricorn on the 8th, and I don’t like to reveal extremely important information in a work setting, or sometimes to close friends. However, I’m one of those people who can chat forever to total strangers about random information. Conversations with my husband, what I ate last night, etc. If it’s not what I consider too personal, I spill the beans. I might even spill semi-personal stuff. But if it is a really gut-wrenching thing, I’ll actually avoid telling my closest friends about it. It’s something I’m working on, as I’d like to grow more intimate friendships. I’ve had major betrayals in the past, though. Both friend-wise and relationship-wise So that could be part of it, too.
I am Scorpio Sun and Merc in 10th house. Yes, I keep secrets. In some form, secrets are a comfort blanket and a shield. Like you say whether writing a blog or developing relationships I save something of myself for myself our of “habit” an old sense of “survival instinct.” What I learn through writing a blog and reading your blog Elsa, is as real as it gets in words. This VOICE is still different than the ME. My husband recognizes the difference in the writing voice I use and the one he lives with. He likes both, and knows the differences.
A soft underbelly will always be driven by the instinct to preserve it, I think. With time and gentler experiences with the world and people a Scorpio like me learns to roll over and PLAY, and yet it takes time and consistently kind encounters before I do this. Courage to go learn to play might comes from my Leo 8th house … encouraging the Scorpian to let down her hair.
You are wise to know your holograms, and through your shares, I read/see my self, and step out or back depending upon the sniff I get. It’s a code alright … like DNA … it’s there … and it changes 
THANKS Elsa, and the comments … what revelation
Kashmiri - yes, more omission than secret. I didn’t find out about my grandmother till much later too - it was just omitted. Major life events somehow get deleted and/or forgotten. I guess I do the same thing. Sheesh. Pisces Mercury
That’s so bizarr-o! Our charts must be super similar. Although I think you have Cap ASC? Mine is late degree Sag.
I have late degree Gemini ASC. yes, bizarr-o
yeah, that year-or-so turnaround sounds about right… it takes me a looong time to trust people (with certain things) and i only get more and more careful with age.
Stephanie we have the same astrology. Would be interesting to meet a doppleganger.
I am the same way. I tell secrets that I don’t entirely care if they’re told. But I won’t tell any real secrets that are, ya know, important to keep secret. There are things I haven’t told a soul and will always keep to myself until they need to come out. (Plan Z, for instance). My sisters are the only people in the world I’ve told most of my secrets too. But I often hide things from them as well. But I’ve stated before that I trust NO ONE 100%.
Hi everyone. I have Scorpio/mars & Leo in the 8th aspecting Pluto- i hope i said this correctly.
I totally get this.
In fact, I told my pal/peer at 4:30 a.m. this morning that I was going to work today and wasn’t feeling 100% and i thought wow i must really have confidence in her b/c i rarely let the word that i’m not indestructible get out on the street.
I have a high profile job too so image is everything. I even try to look nice at the gym cause clients are there.
Once while going door to door selling home improvements w my dad he said his motto for people success was ” be personal about impersonal things and impersonal about personal things.” He took me with him so people would let him in their houses. I have alot of Capricorn and I’ve been working since I was 5.
In biz, I ask very direct personal & financial questions to identify and achieve goals. And no one has ever once said, I don’t want to answer that. I get 100 percent loyalty over here. My job is highly technical but its really just so much theater to maintain the confidence of my clients and my capricorn lets me do that for them. That is very different than who I actually am.
I guess that’s what i’ve come to know as Neptune here.
Totally different story on the personal side, I have alot of ‘friends’ and I’m definitely the fixer among them. They would tell you that I am the rock. They would be the first to tell you that I’ve she’s achieved alot and they will all tell you that I have a great life.
I would go father to say most would consider me their close friend entrusted with their money and house keys, their wills, but if you asked them on any given day, they know practically nothing about me. NOTHING. They would tell you about my job- or how busy I am at work, or what I’ve helped them to achieve but in so far as how I feel, or my fears, crickets. Not a one of them know i was completely by myself on xmas day.
This is really making me think. So am i secretive or do i just not want to point arrows to my very soft underbelly?
I have great respect for other peoples privacy and I rarely pry or ask for any info that you haven’t offered unless I think you might be heading toward the quick sand and even then I might think- who am I to deprive you of your lesson?
But in so far as trusting you with my feelings and secrets, I’m going to tread slowly because very often i’ve had the bottom of the pool just disappear with out warning. I’ve often trusted the anonymity of a complete stranger more than someone who ‘knew me’ who’s loyalty was untested.
I have had a history of people coming in quickly and leaving quickly so it takes a while for me to be able to trust that someone will be there or at someone is trustworthy. In fact, there have been times that i’ve felt safer to just pay a professional for advice or help. At least I was clear on their level of involvement. It was just less painful than being let down by someone else who was not trustworthy.
Fascinating topic. And speaking of paying a professional——>Everyone TIP the Artist.
Secretive? no. Intensely private? yes -3 planets in the 8th & Pluto aspecting 2 of them.
It took me a long time to knowing & trusting when I can share specific information or not. If I’m not feeling it then that’s that; not hiding nor secreting here, but discerning of what’s appropriate. Cuz I love sharing, really, but the majority of people react poorly to intense stuff, except Plutonic folks and those scare me ;P eheh
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I totally relate to this, but I’m not gonna tell you why
Gemini Sun in 8th house, pluto square sun, moon in scorpio, topped off with a nice Libra rising smile.
I will say, in the year and a half I’ve been reading this blog, I’ve been confronting my own trust issues left and right, right and left. It’s a good thing.