Demystifying Astrology: Saturn In Synastry - Mentor Or Oppressor?
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“My boyfriend has Saturn conjunct my Sun. Will he hold me back?”
He may but he may also be the best thing that ever happened to you. It’s true if someone has their Saturn in aspect to one of your planets (particularly the personal planets: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars), they will have some authority over you.
They may be older, more experienced, more educated or whatever form this takes but you can’t tell from the chart how they might express this “advantage”. Will they be a mentor, an oppressor or a combination of those?
Also, this aspect works in reverse. Saturn tends to feel old and insecure at least at times so the young upstart (you) may trigger these feelings.
Ultimately the onus is on the Saturn person to act responsibly and “do the right thing”. How well people manage this can be determined by their maturity level which has ve ry little to do with age. My 9 year old son restrains himself (Saturn) while his friend and peer oppresses (Saturn) his younger sisters so just keep that mind when you run into this situation in synastry. Are you being supported… or crushed?
Is there someone in your life who chastises you? Check and see if their Saturn is in aspect to your personal planets and tell us…
17 Responses to “Demystifying Astrology: Saturn In Synastry - Mentor Or Oppressor?”
My mother. Parental energy might be a perfect example of Saturn on a personal planet, I’ll have to go look. I have my Saturn right spot on the DC of another person and I have felt responsible for that person for way longer than anyone else would have done, considering how the person has acted. It’s like some kind of lock to his chart where somehow it is implied by the person and believed by me that “I owe them.” It’s not even realistic, but somehow I keep feeling that feeling of owing.
Another time I noticed that whenever I sat near this person with their saturn on my sun, I felt faded in the background. Literally the placement of the chairs, and the persons body felt like it was cutting off my sunlight and connection to the rest of the group. My leo moon hated that, and it has something to do with why I kind of eased out of that friendship.
PS. the person where my saturn is on his DC, here is something else interesting. We have had a long relationship even thought I am 13 years older than him and some people think he looks so young (I call him babyface) that I am sure there are some people who think he’s my kid. It’s a weird dynamic but, I think, an excellent example of what Saturn can do on someones angle. It can make a tie that binds forever.
I have saturn connections with two exes and these tend to remain ‘relationships’ or some kind or another that just go on and on and on for decades. Saturn = Father Time?
I’m close to someone whose sun, mercury, and venus are squared by my Saturn and his Saturn is square to my moon.
I would hate for him to feel like I’m some kind of oppressing figure. In the past I have had the tendency to criticize but I am really doing things differently this time, so hopefully whatever negatives there are to these aspects I will be able to catch before I act them out.
My boyfriend has his Saturn square my Sun. I always feel he’s my rock and then sometimes I feel he’s being overly disapproving and I just think, get your Saturn off me, and I rebel (Sun/Uranus). Manageable and positive, since I know what the deal is. (My Saturn is only a few degrees later and also square my Sun, so I may be used to the energy.)
My husband and I both have Saturn in Capricorn - he also has Mars and Mercury in Capricorn. I don’t know, we will be married 20 years this June. We have taken turns supporting/chastising each other. We lived through his “mid-life crisis”, and we lived through my years of lashing out at almost everyone due to the stress of dealing with a child with special needs. The only other person in my life, who I would say was an oppressor, was my mother, and she was a Capricorn sun. We were just like oil and water - I never knew her time of birth, would love to be able to see her chart (oh well).
I met a man who changed my life in so many ways. His Saturn is conjunct my Sun and my Saturn is conjunct his. A little hard to tell who learned from who. 
My six year old step son has tightly Saturn conjunct my sun. Our birthdays are one day apart so it’s conjunct his too. It is a tough tough dynamic to deal with in a step child. I think we will both be better for the experience but I would not have chosen this for either of us. I know he’ll be a wonderful adult and I believe we will have a good relationship assuming we both survive. :p
wow, i just took at look at the saturns in my relationship…
My boyfriend’s saturn conjuncts my sun and south node.
My saturn conjunct his IC and uranus, opposite his MC, and square his asc.
I don’t know who’s making a bigger impact on the other. But i know for a fact that his presence in my life has changed (for the better) how i think and the direction i want to go in my life. He is definitely like a mentor to me, whether he’s aware of it or not.
This is interesting. Thanks, Elsa. I’ve recently entered a relationship with someone whose Saturn conjuncts my Asc exactly and my Saturn is sextile is Sun. He’s 14 years older than me, but I find myself frequently offering advice….
ROFL - His saturn sits on my sun and mercury and my saturn sits on his venus.
It’s funny because he’s my emotional safe harbor but I’m the “adult” in the relationship. Although that is changing as he partners more equally over time.
HE has saturn conjunct my north node in libra. He’s been in my life for ever - being unavailable. My saturn conjuncts his chiron. I can see why he does things - but it is not what others see. Consequently i have difficulty believing what i know deep inside.
Oh heck yeah. I actually started laughing when I read this. He is my strongest supporter, my best mentor, my truest friend in dark times, and my harshest critic.
And his Saturn sits right on top of my Sun/Saturn/Ascendant smashup.
Well, one of my exes, one of my ex-best-friends, and one of my best friends all have Saturn conjunct my Sun/Chiron/DC. Two of the three of those I doubt feel any responsibility towards me any more- the one time I ran into both of them they were more friendly than I figured, but then they didn’t reconnect with me later.
Oddly enough, I am highly likely to run into the ex-friend this weekend at the same conference we saw each other at last year. No idea what to do at that- last time she greeted me with a big hug, I gave her contact info and never heard from her again. This may be a yearly weirdness to deal with.
I suspect all three people felt responsible towards me, especially the ones that met me when I was 20 and a colossally stupid git. I definitely felt their authority because I was “young and dumb” and they were in their Saturn Returns (which explains why I got dumped by them both, I guess). They didn’t chastise me, but I was trying to hide it when I had issues so they wouldn’t know I had any.
This hasn’t been an issue with my current friend, thank goodness. More of a mentor-ish relationship.
The one that chastises me the most these days, I have my Saturn square her sun. And it’s my mother. Go figure. I’d blame it more on her natal Moon/Saturn and mine (though they don’t connect to each other) though.
I recently came out of a relationship where I was the Saturn figure conjunct my ex’s Sun. I agree with what Elsa wrote, especially how as the Saturn figure I brought out the best in my ex whose Libra Sun really lit up my life. I also agree with the stifling feeling the Sun would feel when Saturn gets too serious, and how Saturn can feel threatened with the Sun growing without Saturn. I especially agree with Saturn having to be the responsible one and what I would like to mention is that being that figure can be draining especially if you’re female and believe relationships should be equal. What about the Sun recognizing this? The Saturn figure gets such a bad rep every time I read about Saturn conjunct Sun aspects. Nobody really likes ‘crushing’ the person they love. The question was “Will he hold me back?” and that already has such a negative connotation. Well I think relationships are 2 way and both parties have needs. The way things are phrased, the reader will be hard pressed to wonder if the Saturn figure enjoys playing that ‘father’ role or might be feeling tired of the Sun being the child. I know it all depends on different aspects in the charts but it would have been lovely if Elsa mentioned that the Saturn person has needs too and the other figure, whether it is the Sun or other personal planets, needs to remember this.
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Not chastised, but supported. A mentor of mine had his Saturn exactly conjunct my Capricorn Moon. He supported me and I supported him. It was a very positive example of Saturn synastry