Elaborating on my comments in response to Loonsounds on, Sleep Tight America!

I have thought about this some more and the soldier has said very plainly no one wants their destiny tied to his. Since my destiny is tied to his I can speak to this and tell you that it is a very difficult.

I don’t know how I can convey this other than to state it and having my moon conjunct his son’s… well he loves his dad, like I love his dad and sometime the pain is almost unbearable because we KNOW that the next day things are going to be bad for him… AGAIN.

And we know he doesn’t deserve it or at least this is our feeling but apparently he’s got some pretty (VERY) heavy duty past life stuff to redeem and this is just the way it is.

It’s his thing (karma?) not ours (that we can tell) so we try to have our lives be separate from his but that can’t happen because we love him and so we bear this pain.

I don’t pretend to understand it. I don’t understand it one bit but I do know it’s real and it is not a new discovery.

I had very serious conversations about this before committing to the soldier. satori is one of the people I talked to, I am sure she can attest. I told her they was no hope of things getting better. It would be difficult no matter what and if I tied my life to his I would suffer for sure and this has played out and I sure it will continue to play out because this is a very long song.

And you may wonder why you step into something like this and the reason is because I believe my destiny is tied to his and it was when we met 30 years ago.

Had we married then, nothing would be as hard as it is right now. So it came down to making a decision - face this now, or postpone it another 30 years… or into another lifetime and have it be even worse. I decided to buck up now and I have no regrets.

The soldier and I are really at the end of our lives, as I was telling his son the other day. We just want to do the best we can now with the time that is left and perhaps next life we will not be so stupid… waste so much time. We will marry right away, okay? This has been no party for either one of us.