18
The Astrology And Psychology of Stalking
Astrology in real life
I don’t know how I got this book, The Psychology of Stalking: Clinical and Forensic Perspectives
because I am not really interested in the subject but it wound up in my hands and it sure is good.
Here’s some stuff off the top that got my attention:
“I think that the rage is the central component in motivating the behavior of the stalker to then pursue the object. The intent is to dominate, devalue and in some cases destroy.” (Kohut, 1972)
65% of non psychotic stalkers were motivated by anger, 24% by jealousy.
53% blamed the victim, a measure of projection. (Kienlen et al. 1997)
I thought that was interesting. 53% blame the victim but the other (roughly) half know exactly what they are doing and who is at fault.
This was also pretty keen.. a stalking flow chart:
The whole thing starts with what is referred to as a “narcissistic linking fantasy” - the person feels special or loved or admired by or superior to or destined to be with.. the object -> leads to…
acute of chronic rejection -> leads to…
Feelings of shame/humiliation ->
Defended against by rage ->
Fuels behavioral pursuit: To hurt, control, to damage or destroy -> and this…
Restores narcissistic linking fantasy
The author uses John Hinckley Jr as an example. Rejected by (Scorpio) Jodie Foster he shot the president…
Meloy writes:
“But a curious phenomena has occurred. John Hinckley Jr. did in a sense set out to accomplish what he set out to do. The public will always link him with Jodie Foster and most importantly, as a basis of gratification in Mr. Hinckley’s mind, Ms Foster will likely never forget him. Her consciousness of him validates his narcissistic linking fantasy, one that perhaps remains a hidden preoccupation for him 17 years later. As he said to an interviewer 2 months after the assassination attempt, “To link myself with her for almost the rest of history, if you want to go that far.”
I’ve had limited experience with stalking in real life but I pick them up pretty routinely writing this blog and you see the Mars function here. They stalker hunts you and tries to destroy you.
In my case (Mars conjunct Mercury) the stalkers generally write a lot of poison emails and send them out around the world (9th house).
In extreme cases they do destroy you. Scorpio, Rebecca Schaeffer is mentioned.
I’d not have made the connection between stalking and narcissistic personality disorder but now I see it clearly. This is Hinckley’s diagnosis by the way and now I understand what is driving the people who stalk me.
What’s curious about this… or at least another angle that occurs to me around this is the idea some people have that we can eradicate Mars from this earth.
Robert John Bardo, is the man who shot Schaeffer. I bet he seemed like a real nice guy to many but she opened the door and he shot her dead at 21 years old.
If you know any “nice” people hunting me, do me a favor and don’t give out my address, mmm kay?
Do you have any experience with stalking? Tell us. Also, where is your Mars?
31 Responses to “The Astrology And Psychology of Stalking”
I wouldn’t call it stalking, but.. there have been times in the past when I felt my boundaries have been breached, but am confused by the seemingly nice-on-the outside manifestation. For example, one guy I hooked up with once (and had only known for a few weeks) showed up at my house uninvited at the crack of dawn to lay mulch on my flower beds. I don’t even garden, and it just creeped me out, when I heard all that digging outside.. Another time, in the early days of courting with my now ex- he just tripped out suddenly on a seemingly benign phone call, and I was spooked by it. The next thing I know, as I’m coming home from work at midnight, get out of my car to walk to my door, this shadow figure emerges from the dark with flowers in hand.. it was him, come to apologize, but omg deep down I was rattled. My Mars is in Leo, square Neptune. I also have that pesky Moon in Scorpio conjunct Neptune in Scorpio, so perhaps this plays here?
By the way… those two fellas who just showed up like that? One was an Aries, the other a Leo with a lot of Aries too.
I’ve been the object of several stalkings. mars in scorpio.
recently I ran into the guy who beat the snot out of me and expected to have a relationship. he was the only person I’ve ever punched and it was a k.o. well, after 20 years he sat down next to me at the counter of the coffee shop I frequent and engaged me in conversation, wanted to renew our “friendship.” when I said, hell no, you beat the snot out of me, his reply was along the lines of us having equal responsibility for the violence. I told him to get fucked.
the girl at the counter told me he’d been staying at her house. her boyfriend had met him in jail and they were all hanging out. this girl is in her early twenties. I decided that it was not realistic to change her judgement of the situation so I just asked her PLEASE do not give him any personal information on me and left it at that.
that was several months ago and she’s still around. I hope she’s lucky.
I had a stalker who followed me from state to state, always found my work phone numbers, etc. It got to the point where he’d call my work so incessantly that I’d just leave the phone laying off the hook so he couldn’t call back for a while.
Mars in Gemini in the 3rd, but I think it also has something to do with Pisces rising, and it’s ruler neptune in Libra in the 7th opp venus, and it’s co-ruler jupiter conj. uranus.
I had a stalker before that one, in college. That man kicked down my kitchen door and entered the house from outside. Then he just said “Next time I knock, answer the door.” and then he walked away. He also broke into my house when I was out of state, and moved all the living room furniture into the bedroom and all the bedroom furniture into the living room. when I got home he was laying in my bed in the living room. scary guy.
I also had a couple of stalkers from working in the psych unit of a state hospital (after they got out). scary shit all around, that stalker thing, if you have never experienced it I hope you never do.
the longest one was a cancer, I think, and in general, I have had a very hard time ending something with cancer people because they would not ‘get it’ and would not go away.
I have never been stalked yet, but I always figured it would happen someday, given that I am a walking weirdness magnet. Why wouldn’t someone go psychotic on me? I’m female and I stand out, I’d make a great target. I’ve occasionally run into those guys with anger, or those ones who try to breach your boundaries (i.e. keep grabbing ass when you said no twice). I don’t know why they never pursued me on that leve. Seriously, I am surprised it hasn’t happened.
Like in any other dynamics between people, there is a connection between the stalker and his/her victim, and it’s not relevant if this connection is voluntary or not. In my understanding stalkers have a baggage of unresolved emotional stuff that they compensate with their narcissistic fantasy. They seem to feel attracted to Mars in Scorpio or other Mars-Pluto like combinations in their victims, because they feel that these people “know” about their stuff, and of course, could set them free. However, there is a fatal hook in this, because they don’t love their victim, what they actually love is their own stuff, and that’s why they get to destroy the victim in order to keep their stuff “alive”, it means unresolved.
Mars-Mercury in Leo, 7th house.
“As he said to an interviewer 2 months after the assassination attempt, “To link myself with her for almost the rest of history, if you want to go that far.”
That is truly one of the creepiest things I have ever heard.
My ex- partner used to stalk me - he is no longer with us though.
He had major issues and from his childhood that were never resolved - we had a deep connection and were together from a young age for thirteen years - but he stayed stuck in his pain. It was a massive lesson for me - although very scary -
Some people just cannot accept that they cannot control another persons actions.
No, thank god. A friend called me 3 times on Friday after I told her I was too stressed out to talk and even that got me all riled up.
(Aries Mars)
No stalkers. Definitely been around people with really bad energy that wouldn’t go away voluntarily or projected their shit all over me, though. I think my mars might come out more directly oppositional with others, even in the case of underhandedness or pretending to be “nice”, what with it being conjunct my ascendant.
Libra, 12th house
Just one. A Scorpio. I don’t remember his DOB, but I think he had a Sun/Neptune conjunction.
He showed up at my parents’ beach house drunk and high. He was supposed to stay over, but my father wouldn’t even let him in the house. He took off, only to try and break in to my room (I was on the ground floor of a three story condo) in the middle of the night. He dented my dad’s car. The cops were called, but he took off before they got there. It was so embarrassing. I felt really stupid for bothering with someone like this.
He called me at work a couple of days later, and I told him, “I don’t ever want to see you again.” He was throwing a load of crap at me about what a “good guy” he was. Uh huh. “Good guys” don’t try and break into someone else’s home. “Good guys” don’t have major drinking problems. While he was going on and on, I hung up. I thought that was the end of him.
He started phone stalking me a couple of days later. He would always call at dinner, so I let my dad pick up. He never got me, thank goodness.
A few weeks later, I went back to college. I was scared shitless that he would come down to the campus and harass me. I VERY stupidly had taken him on a tour of the campus, but I didn’t show him where I was going to be living.
The phone stalking lasted about three months before it stopped for good.
There were two codas to this story. First, not only did this guy ruin my birthday, I got mono from him. I spent the rest of my summer half out of it with a high fever and chills.
Second, I saw him on the beach where I met him, the beach where my parents’ house was, three years after this mess. He walked by me and said, “how ya doin’?” I never knew if he recognized me–I’d changed my hair color by then–or was just hitting on any pretty girl he saw. My blood ran cold, and I couldn’t get off the beach fast enough. That was the last I saw of him.
That was one of the most horrible experiences of my life, and it happened during the first pass of Pluto in Scorpio (!!!) squaring my Sun…
Oh–my Mars is in Leo, 5th house, and it’s my chart ruler (Aries rising). I was pretty young when that happened, and as I got into my 20s, I had no problem telling guys that gave me bad vibes to get lost. Wish I had done that with this one…
yes, I prosecuted a stalker! Come to think of it do ex husbands count? ha ha ha. I didn’t mean to prosecute but this lady/housekeeper person who lingered too long and ended up on drugs and schizo started calling nonstop threatening to kill me so I had to call the police. So they found out that she had a warrant outon her for PHONE HARRASSMENT. So I didn’t mean to prosecute her but it sure got rid of her. My judge was Toler, the divorce lawyer that has her own tv show now. It was very very surreal. Another stalker was a guy who I apparently rejected. Unfortunately, he had a hobby of re inacting wars by dressing in costume and firing machine guns. So when he was rejected I was very nervous but then he just threatened to kill himself and eventually faded away. So it was a great lesson in boundaries!!! mars in leo sq neptune possibly?
It was a real lesson for me to recognize Krazy when I see it coming and run the other way!!! I was very naive.
Yes, last year a neighbor down the hall who I had only seen in passing started going through my mail, following me around, parking his car next to mine and waiting inside it in the dark. Following my every move, he became my shadow. Eventually started “running into me” at different places, emailing me, offering to “help” me move to my new place. I suppose, so he could continue to stalk me there?! I didn’t even know his name, said “hello” maybe twice, he just went psycho. And the kicker? He was a psychiatrist. Despite the creepy/scary factor, I was mostly just angry. Angry that someone took it upon themselves to trespass, to push their way in, violate my boundaries. Transiting Pluto was conjunct my moon/ascendant.
Aries Mars in 10th.
“Some people just cannot accept that they cannot control another persons actions.”
It’s pretty hard to accept that sometimes you can’t even control your *own* actions. This stalker was making it impossible for me to protect myself, my privacy, peace of mind, etc., courtesy his actions. He was crazy, and the fear he created dictated when/where I could go, what I could do. I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. He challenged my sense of security. Made me realize just how vulnerable I was, whether I could see it or not. Nobody is immune to another’s actions.
Whoops, transiting Pluto was conjunct my moon/descendant.
I’ve got Mars in Libra in the 5th.
My ex-husband would have stalked me (I’m sure of it) had I not immediately moved to another continent (and he doesn’t speak English). There is no restraining order like the Atlantic Ocean.
I wonder if my Mars in the 5th means that I will be stalked by my kids!? Will they never grow up, move out and become self-sufficient???
OMG Lis! I also have Mars in Leo and had a similar situation. Guy stalked me, long story, years later he shows up at a used cd store and hits on me, but since I have a different hair color he has no idea.
I’ve had only that one true stalking experience, but I have also been harrassed and had lies spread about me etc.
AnaBanana you’d be great for writing cliffhangers: how the heck did you get out of that mess?????
yes.
there have been several. it has been pretty ugly at times. started when i was a teenager. been very careful about dating after i started to get a sense of the vibe. they do have patterns, but they tend to come across really charming, initially.
my mars is in pisces.
i think it’s more likely due to my venus/pluto opposition, though.
Kashmiri - I disappeared on him. Literally packed up and moved at night. Not sure if he has figured out my new location, but he did try to “friend” me on Facebook after the move (”I was your neighbor, remember me?”). Had to leave that too. He’s apparently a Taurus, on staff at a nearby hospital now. Yeah, I track the motherf**ker right back. Wonder if he realizes that? He is vulnerable too.
Amethyst–yep, he didn’t recognize me because of the hair, the dark sunglasses I was wearing, and my not speaking to him (I have a very recognizable voice–very deep for a woman). It also helped that the guy’s brain was shot from all his drinking. I think his memory was gone. Bad for him, but a blessing for me.
Stacey, OMG, don’t give me a heart attack!
I have Mars in the 5th, and I can’t get my oldest and youngest out of my bed!
My oldest was a horrible sleeper as a baby, and the only way I could get him back to sleep was co-sleeping.
He’s now 9. We bought him a bunk bed for his 3rd birthday. He never sleeps in the thing. He’s either on the couch downstairs (my DH sleeps on the other one because my bed gives him bad backaches), or in my bed if Dad’s not around.
I’m being stalked by my kid at bedtime. Yikes!
yikes…that is terrible anabanana. it’s interesting that your aries mars is in the 10th…(my aries mars is in the 4th).
when will pluto in capricorn square your mars?? i’m not sure when pluto moves to the 2nd degree but when it does mine will be triggered.
i have pluto in tight opposition to mars natally so i’m used to the tension but i’m looking forward to the lessons of the square.
i’m willing to bet tracking him under pluto square mars will bring you what you need.
I think it’s going to be 2-3 years before the pluto/mars square is exact. But for now, pluto’s squaring sun, venus, mars, jupiter, saturn and conj. moon/Neptune DC. I’m sure I’ll have a tale or two when it’s all done!
Natal Aries Mars opp. pluto? Wow, I can’t imagine a lifetime of that tension. You’re pretty tough stuff 
I bet nobody would mess with you!
Hee!!!!!! lots of people try (and succeed) but my game face is pretty good!
I have Sun/Mars/Neptune in Scorpio. Am being stalked by a Sun/Mars/Uranus Cancer, with Leo rising. He just pops out of nowhere. We work together (big company), so it can go just so far (thank goodness). He’s a superior, so I can’t do too much except leave, which isn’t an option, these days. Others have noticed and have acted as though something was going on between us, with me as the culprit. (Given “shade” by his peers, etc.)
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My sister, Mars in Scorpio, got stalked by a Leo who kept appearring in the window just watching.