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Compassion And Confiding In Strangers: “The Sisters Of Mercy, I Hope You Run Into Them Soon…”
Astrology in real life
Are you one of those people that other people confide in? I am. I can be in the produce department of a grocery store and have a stranger tell me their deepest and darkest. I have no feeling about this other than I think I am well suited. I was standing behind a bar hearing tales of woe from the time I was 15 years old so what does that tell you? But here’s the phenomena I wanted to discuss:
People tell me secrets or make confessions and I have noticed some want nothing to do with me soon after. These types often say things like, “I probably shouldn’t say this but…”
I don’t say anything but I don’t agree with them. I always think they should say the thing and more. I think they should puke it up all over the place so they’re not carrying it around and generally speaking this is what happens. There is an intense flurry of communication and then a week or month later I realize the person is gone.
3 or 6 months later I realize they are gone for good and my heart goes with them. It just pulls right out of my chest, it is a horrible ache and I leave it that way because I can think of nothing else I should do. That they shared their pain with me is clearly a gift. It is a gift and a curse and this is something I have been aware of for a long time.
I think I was influenced my this song which I used to listen to over and over when I was a kid, 15 or 16. The song is about a world some of us live in while others seem to know little about.
If you don’t know this movie… that is a whore house there as portrayed in the movie, McCabe & Mrs. Miller
Sisters of Mercy - Leonard Cohen
Do I have any sisters out there?
25 Responses to “Compassion And Confiding In Strangers: “The Sisters Of Mercy, I Hope You Run Into Them Soon…””
kashmiri - thanks. And see, I’d forgotten about that (but would have remembered if you reminded me). That’s one of the reasons I am a good choice to talk to. I don’t remember your stuff unless you want me too. Know why? Because I am busy hearing someone else’s stuff. 
I think this is funny. My ass was on already on the job as a young teen, sort of like Vid meditating the soldier and I when we fight. Damned kid… don’t let ever be said we don’t know who we are or what we can do!
Wow - This is very similar to what happens to me but I’ve never seen it described in print.
People come in to my life, spill their stuff, I get really close, I usually help by listening, or even making a suggestion but usually just by being there is some consistant way. They can be close for months.
My heart is open to them and i think they feel that true acceptance so I connect on a profound level and when they are gone, there is alot of pain on my end. I will miss them even though they have probably learned nothing about me.
I never try to ‘hold on’ to the relationship after its gone. I know when I have served my purpose. I know it when they are done. I sometimes wonder, do they not miss me b/c they sure loved me when they were ‘utilizing ‘ me.
(I’m talking just human interaction not romantic) From the time I’ve been tiny, people have come in and out really fast and I pine when they go.
My experience started very young with my BPD grandmother and then my highly disfunction mother imappropriately burdened me with their issues and insanity. I can remember being six years old and my mother showing me a newspaper clipping with her parents divorce. Like didn’t they have any adult friends?
I don’t confide in many ‘civilians’ I like it like that unless I have a smart partner. I’ve never had anyone to rely on emotionally.
In my job, i hear everything. I never judge. I wish I could give myself the same break and not judge myself.
I know if i lost everything and were under the bridge and the entire financial system had collapsed, if it hasn’t already done so, unless i wore dark glasses and a baseball cap, people will be lined up at my shopping cart asking, ‘what should i do’ and I’ll be giving them advice on survivial skills. I’ll probably be pushing my x in that basket too.
I realized this week that its impossible for me to stay angry with someone that I love.
Yes. Neptune/Merc in the 11th. I’ve always been a clam myself but my Pluto transits have been making me blab more.
*Shannon raises her hand*
I get this, a lot.
yeah. also often hear “i never open up to people” or “i don’t know why i’m telling you this”.
neptune in scorp opposing the midheaven. i assume that’s similar energy?
I hear ya Elsa! I am a hairdresser and I get to know my clients fairly well and they do open up about tons of stuff. I don’t judge them I just like hearing about what is going on in their lives. Sometimes it surpises me but it makes me feel flattered that they trust me enough to open up.
I have Neptune is Scorpio in my 6th house squaring my moon and midheaven.
I can totally relate to that. I was taking a cab once and the driver ended up confiding that he and the love of his life once considered a double suicide but held back for various reasons, etc.
Isn’t it usually the cab driver at the end of confessions? 
Also… I often go shopping with friends and they say they don’t want to go shopping with me again because they end up buying more than they wished for. Why? Probably because I just listen to what they want to tell me. I emit no judgment, I just listen, which probably becomes a sounding board.
Is it a Libra thing? Because this happens to my husband all the time. Libra sun/rising.
I can honestly say no. And I’m so glad you can do this, Elsa. As for “what else” - I don’t know a damn thing, but to me this sounds like your packed 8th house to me - or also, the Scorpio. These people are depositing energy with you and obviously taking some energy away.
I have strong Neptune, I have Pisces on the MC, and I have Moon in 12th, but I do not have the sense that people confess or confide in me in that way. With a lot of people, I feel I already know their secrets. And I don’t have a sense of them leaving. This is truly bizarre to me, but I don’t feel like anyone is gone for good. Maybe that’s Neptune, too.
i’d guess so.
i can’t see myself very well.
but i’ve tried… not so much for strangers. feel like i have to try to at least sya something, though, when i see it.
there’s only so much weight i can carry.
i have had people in my life who have disappeared like that, when their world began to knit back together.
people can sense a strength in detachment in casual meetings with others. What someone may have to discuss about their life has been brewing for some time and when they suddenly come accross a person who they sense is safe in “strength” and detachment the person off loads. There are other factors other that ’strength’ perhaps its a nurturing presence? However the person will only off load when they sense the person will not be affected by what they say.
I have seen this happen over and over with some people and myself. I dont seem to attract that sort of thing out in the streets these days. Perhaps I have a more ‘closed’ body language and save it for the counselling room these days.
Kingsley
I am very detached but strangeley i will miss them when they go. DOn’t know why? Maybe cause I find people fascinating (specimen) - its cold but perhaps like when you finish a book with a fascinating character and you are sorry to put it down.
I always feel a void.
I will often think - i wonder what happened to______x
I am usually the confidante for most of my friends. Surprisingly, I rarely share myself that way with people. I can express myself really well in the written form, but face to face I usually only confide in whoever is my long term parter at the time, and so far that’s only been 4 people my entire life.
Now, when I go out, I get people telling me their life stories ALL the time. I think I have the ability to listen very well, and to be honest, I don’t mind it… I’ve had these type of run-ins with some very interesting people.
But yeah, I’ve made several friends that way too… starting a conversation with someone at a concert or something like that or on public transportation and exchanging email addresses…
People trust me fast.
Neptune in the 8th, mercury in pisces
Hmm, is this a Neptune thing? I get it all the time. But I have Neptune in Sag in the 12th (which I’m never sure of) opposite Mercury in Gemini, quincunx Venus in Cancer in the 7th. I always thought it was the Venus in Cancer…
I think once someone shares their deepest/darkest secrets, the moment they are doing it is cathartic, and then the next morning they are just scared. I am an extremely private person myself, I even finally tried therapy, and I was not even able to let it all out there! The fear I think is that you just handed your power to someone else - guess that is why shows like Dr. Phil where people are airing their dirty laundry for all the world to know make me break out in hives lol.
Trust takes a good amount of time to establish for some people and is the basis for the treatment in therapy.
In some cases I would agree that Neptune could be involved in that the person who is listening (their prominent neptune) makes it easer for the ‘talker’ to identify underlaying or similar issues. Therefore there is a sense that the other knows what they are experiencing. There is a kind of projective identification in the other with Neptune.
kingsley
It happens to me too and I used to be kind of sad or upset when I would absorb the pain and then the people would leave….but then I began to see (thanks yet again Elsa) that it was a service, and kind of like a therapist, it is a good thing when they are ready to move on.
This also happens a lot to me, and has from early on. My accounting of this: Scorpio rising projects that I’m interested in talking about real things and will not be shocked or overwhelmed by anything. Neptune in the 1st for a compassionate presence, Venus in Aquarius cares about strangers as well as loved ones, and Jupiter on the desc. for bigger perspective expressed in one-on-one exchanges. And sometimes they leave and sometimes not. I can imagine in the reverse feeling embarrassed afterwards in a ‘too much intimacy’ kind of way.
I used to get a lot of “confessions” when I was younger and more “open” but am finding that it happens less and less as I get older.
Regarding the people confiding secrets and then running away: It sounds like a Neptune (boundaries) and Pluto (secrets) energy play for sure.
I admit that I have confided in people and then retreated soon after, afraid (Neptune) of what they might do with the secrets (Pluto) I had shared. Secrets are powerful; when we reveal them we can feel we are giving our power away (Pluto).
Me: Moon in Pisces square Neptune, Scorp stellium, Sun/Merc in the 12th, Merc square Pluto). Still struggle with trusting people too much (Neptune) or too little (Pluto/Scorp).
People confess to me allll of the time. Its odd though, it seems to be specific things they confess..relationship stuff for the most part. I cant tell you how many people have confessed affairs to me, and not after the fact either! Usually in the middle of one, or right before it turns sexual.
this makes me think of a recent lesson in my life. My extended family has been done in over the years by secrets that are often not secret but the person cowers in fear of being discovered and judged. It’s ironic because everyone KNOWS anyways within the family. I’ve started to try to differentiate between secrets and privacy. That way the junk can be owned by the person it belongs to and they can feel accepted while working through stuff in their own time. I just went through this with an aunt and a cousin who both are having a hard time in their lives and don’t want to go to family gatherings.
Like you, Elsa, I’ve had strangers come up to me and tell me their secrets. This has happened since I was about 12 years old. And like you, I usually never see these strangers again.
I have a mercury in Pisces. I’m guessing people an communicate such things more easily with me?
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Elsa, your energy is a gift to me. And being a person who has confided in you, I can’t say enough how precious it is to not be judged in this life.
From me to you, across the ether. I hope you have a wonderful time this Christmas with the your family, and the Soldier in your bed and the wacky dogs at your feet.